


Across Time

by PurplePetal



Series: Kismat Se Tum Humko Mile Ho [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Explorers!AU, F/M, Fluff with some angst, Romance, Slow Burn, and this started as a history thing not a plot thing, daxam and krypton rivarly, feelings are hard guys, its gonna take them a while to realize, love across centuries, they have powers but limited powers, very little angst but there will be angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-11-09 15:55:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 47,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11107878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurplePetal/pseuds/PurplePetal
Summary: Krypton and Daxam have sent their best explorers on a quest for new planets, eager to conquer more stars than their rival planet. Explorers Kara Zor-El and Mon-El land on planet Earth, however; their ships are damaged on impact, and are marooned on Earth with no means of communication to their home worlds. They are both granted longevity by the Earth’s yellow sun, so how do they manage to live across time?





	1. Year 1754

**Author's Note:**

> I want to thank @juliakaze (tumblr handle) for making the aesthetics for each chapter. Love you!

**YEAR 1754**

**LOCATION: QUEBEC**

****

“Kara Zor-El, descent will begin in two minutes,” the automated voice within the spacecraft echoed. Kara had woken up from a stasis-coma 12 hours prior to landing on this new undiscovered planet: Earth.

“Please prepare for landing,” the voice continued on.

The journey to Earth took four years, therefore after the initial launch from Krypton, a state of suspended animation was induced. The state of suspended animation allowed for her to be preserved at the same age as she departed, and her body didn’t need any nutrients to survive.

Kara looked out of her pod, and saw an expanse of green in the horizon. Recalling her studies from school, she assumed they were plants. In her Universal Studies class on Krypton, she had learned that many planets within the universe survived through plant-based nutrition where the plants were on the lower hierarchy of the food chain. The green landscape was finite however, at edge of greenery there was a long stretch of blue. Water. Water was essential for carbon-life forms, like herself, to survive. If water was not present on Earth, Krypton would have not set her off on this mission. Krypton was searching for habitable planets, and lack of water would have automatically make them inhospitable.

The water looked so clear, and calm from above, and if she stared long and hard enough she could swear that she could see the reflection of her spacecraft as if the water below her was nothing but a mirror. Kara was enthralled by the reflection. Rather than looking straight ahead as her descent began, she was watching the descent of her ship through the reflection it projected on the water.

While watching the reflection, Kara observed that her spaceship would occasionally look like it doubled in size, and then quickly returned to be smaller. Kara brushed it off as some trickery her mind was playing on her after being awakened from a prolonged slumber, but then the spacecraft doubled again and refused to become small again. Confused by this, she looked above to see if anything was casting a shadow to allow this double reflection, however; she greeted with clear skies and was bathed and blinded by the sharp rays of the Earth’s yellow sun.

“Perhaps the object is beneath me?” Kara whispered, trying to ascertain the cause of this doubled replication in the water. Kara gripped the control of the spacecraft, and toggled it to the right, to guide the spacecraft in the opposite direction, but the craft refused to move. Frustrated, she toggled it again with more force, yet was greeted by the same result.

“Kara Zor-El,” the automated voice echoed again, “Descent is currently on auto-pilot, would Kara Zor-El like manual control of the spacecraft?” Kara pondered for a minute. Perhaps this was all in her mind, and she was letting this mind trickery make her paranoid. She looked out the spacecraft again, and saw that her ship’s shadow was still doubled. She only needed to move the spacecraft to the left, and see that her mind was truly just playing tricks on her, and then she would return the craft to auto-pilot and put this paranoid induced nightmare behind her.

“Yes, I would like manual control of the spacecraft,” Kara said confidently.

“Very well Kara Zor-El. Please hold the control,” Kara gripped the two-pronged control before her, “Auto-pilot will be disabled in 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5,” Kara gripped it more tightly, hoping her muscle memory of flying a craft would kick in, “4, 3, 2, 1. Auto-pilot is disabled.”

Kara leveled the craft, and breathed out a sigh of relief when the craft didn’t plunge, nose first, into the water below. Kara once again maneuvered the two pronged control to the right, with each hand holding onto each prong. The craft slowly started moving towards the left, as Kara peered out the window to see if anything was truly below or not.

Kara was about to let out a sigh of relief when she noticed a metallic gray structure below her, similar to her own craft. It was smaller than hers, and was probably a one passenger vehicle. The craft was swaying below her, which was probably why the shadow against the water doubled frequently. Kara leaned against the window in her craft to see if she could spot who was in the one below her, but her view was obstructed by the tint on the windows of the other craft, and the sun’s ray weren’t helping with her vision. Kara leaned even further against her window, curiosity getting the best of her.

Lost in her own thoughts, she forgot the craft was on auto-pilot and the craft moved when she leaned too far onto the window. Momentarily in shock, she pulled the two pronged control towards her, and caused the craft to dive nose first. Kara screamed at the initial change in velocity, but as soon as managed to calm herself down she attempted to level off the craft. But due to the close proximity to the other craft, she didn’t have enough time.

As soon as Kara’s craft neared the other one, both crafts force fields generated to protect themselves. The blue glowing field crackled at the touch of the others, and a stream of blue-white lightning flared out from her ship, and the unknown one. She saw the lightning pulse through her ship’s control, emitting off energy that forced her to release the controls for a brief second. Kara’s ship rocked as she lost control of her craft. All the lights were flickering, alternating between a power surge and a power outage. Now Kara had only one goal, try to balance the ship, and get to the mainland before its inevitable crash.

“Kelax, take over,” Kara yelled at the automated voice within the craft, “Kelax, take control over the ship,” she yelled even louder, hoping that Kelax would be able to land the craft better than she could. No voice responded, “This…this lightning surge must have messed with the craft’s main control,” Kara looked back towards the mainland, it was about ½ a click away. All she had to do was make it to the mainland before the craft completely powered down.

She looked down at the ship below her, it was losing altitude just like hers, and was swaying left and right. Kara assumed it had the same damage that her ship endured. She took in a deep breath and prepared to land. A series of jolts racked through her ship, which let her know she only had a few moments before she systems completely failed.

The ship jerked forwards in sporadic onslaughts that would definitely prevent a gentle landing. The other craft seemed to have a similar trajectory as she did. Kara braced for impact as the ship skimmed above the grass. She gripped her harness tight when her entire body was yanked forward due to the force generated when her ship finally hit the ground below. As quickly as her body was yanked forward, it was pressed flush against her seat as the craft slide across the ground. Kara screamed at the top of her lungs through the entire ordeal but no sound could be heard.

The craft slowly came to stop, and Kara finally felt like she could breathe, the harness no longer weighing on her chest. She took in shallow breathes as she tried to calm herself down.

She had survived the crash. She had survived. She let that relief wash over her, and she tried to steady her heart rate.

The ship had completely powered down. Kara pressed the eject button hoping that at least this would work, yet the ship was unresponsive. If nothing was operational, then she had no way to leave the ship. Rather than going into a frenzy, Kara quickly observed her surrounding for a way out, because panicking was what got her in this position in the first place. Towards the back of the craft she noticed a huge hole behind the right wing. _A way out_ , she thought.

She freed herself from the harness, not even giving a second thought to the amount of strength it would take to do that, and maneuvered her way towards the back of the craft. Her dress was torn when Kara yanked it free when it got caught in some sharp object. Her priority right now was to crawl herself out, not her dress. Finally stepping out on the green grass, she looked back at the wreckage her ship caused. Trees that were in the way were completely leveled, plants were uprooted, and the grass turned black.

“This is bad,” Kara murmured to herself, forgetting that the other craft crashed near her as well.

“You think so?” a voice yelled behind her. Kara was perplexed that anyone could have heard her say that, it was barely above a whisper.

Kara turned around to be greeted by a man, who looked about the same age as her. He was wearing a collared red shirt, and simple black pants. The shirt was stained with dirt, and suffered from what looked like burnt holes. She took a moment to look at the damage on his shirt, but when she glanced over the Royal Family sigil on the his upper right pectoral, she quickly looked away from him as a bitter taste ran through her mouth.

“Daxamite,” she snarled.

“Kryptonian,” he responded, taking a more polite tone. Kara was dumbfounded at the lack of malice in his voice, “Is that how Kryptonians address foreigners, by their race? I would think high and enlightened Krypton would teach its people more manners,” he spoke with no hint of contempt.

Kara bit back her tongue. She wanted to give him a rebuttal, but there were more pressing issues to discuss as this point, and angering the one person who could help her would not be beneficial.

“Is your spaceship operational?” she grumbled. Kara still couldn’t be completely nice to him.

“No. Is yours operational?” he questioned her, while walking towards her ship.

Kara stopped him in his path with her arms stretched as if he was going to further break the broken ship, “No it does not. Why else would I ask you if your ship was operational, Daxamite,” she gritted through her teeth, her face contorted to express her anger: eyes bulged, nose flared, forehead crinkled, and cheeks puffed out. She was annoyed that he would ask such an idiotic question.

“I was simply asking a question Kryptonian, no need to turn into a _Grata_ ,” he smirked.

“How dare you –.”

“How dare I?” he asked incredulously, “you’re the one turning into a crazy _Grata_ , not me. I was merely stating a fact.”

Kara did not like being compared to an ugly winged reptilian creature, “I am not a _Grata_. I am more like a _Pagae_ ,” he scoffed at her comparing herself to a beautiful winged mare, “But that is beside the point. How are you here Daxamite?”

“Let me think Kryptonian,” the Daxamite spoke sardonically. He placed a finger to his chin, and looked off into the distance as if he was actually thinking, while he occasionally tapped his chin. Kara groaned at his antics, “Oh I know,” he said with fake zeal, “Your spaceship came into contact with mine and ruined my motherboard, and I assume yours as well, and caused us to crash and rendered both our ships inoperative. So the answer to your question: How did I get here? It would be you Kryptonian.”

Fury raged through Kara. This Daxamite had the audacity to actual fault her? _It was your fault_. A voice in her mind echoed, but Kara brushed it off. It might have been her fault but she didn’t need to hear it from this hoodlum Daxamite.

“Well, my ship would not have crashed into yours, if your ship was not here in the first place,” Kara attempted to twist the situation around.

“Well, your ship would not have crashed into my ship if your ship was not here in the first place,” the Daxamite rebutted instantly. The calm, collected Daxamite was replaced with one that seemed to be equally annoyed at her as she was with him.

He was getting under her skin, and while she knew this entire situation was her fault she wasn’t going to admit it to this Daxamite.

“Why are you here?” Kara asked, “What purpose does Daxam have to send you here?”

“We are searching for habitable planets,” he knelt down and picked up scraps from her ship, apparently his anger long forgotten.

Kara now understood exactly why Daxam would send someone to this planet, “You want to colonize planets now? I thought Daxamite were too drunk off their asses too actually accomplish anything. But I guess when it comes to spreading your xenophobic ways, Daxam will spare no expense?”

The Daxamite stopped picking up the scraps and just glared at her. The intense stare was burning a whole straight through her face. Initially, Kara stared right back at him, but the longer he held the gaze the more she began to waver. She finally looked away, unable to retaliate with the same degree of energy he was emitting.

“Kryptonians are such hypocrites. Sitting on your lofty perch judging us lowly peasants for the same deeds your planet has done. Correct me if I am wrong Kryptonian, but Daxam was a colony of Krypton centuries ago. Or have you forgotten your history? That’s so unlike you Kryptonian, I thought you knew everything,” the Daxamite spoke with such rectitude that Kara felt herself becoming smaller, “I am simply here to seek out and judge potential habitable planets. That is my job as an explorer, what I was born to do. If the Royal Family of Daxam decides to colonize this planet then that is their prerogative. You have no right to judge me and my people on something your planet has done, and is currently doing –“

“Krypton did not send me here to help colonize this planet,” Kara interrupted him, she couldn’t bear to hear any more truths from him and decided to defend herself, and her people, against his harsh words, “I am here to explore and report back to Krypton about the life on this planet. I am doing all of this for science, not for conquering, Dax –“

The Daxamite roared in laughter, “For science?” he continued laughing, bending over to grab his mid-section as if this was this the best joke in the galaxy. Although, it seemed like he did it more for the theatrics than it being actually hilarious, “If that makes you sleep better at night Kryptonian, sure you can call it science. The truth is, that both our planets want to conquer more planets, more stars, to gain more of a foothold in this expansive universe. Or did they not teach you that?”

“You are lying,” Kara stated bluntly. Krypton would not wish to do that, would they? Truthfully, all she knew was that her mission was to explore Earth. She didn’t question the orders, because just like this Daxamite, she was born to be an Explorer and she couldn’t deny herself the purpose of her birth.

“Like I said, if that helps you sleep better at night.”

Kara wanted to continue the argument, but she knew she wasn’t going to convince this bullheaded person of anything, and why should she waste her breathe on him? She knew the truth, and that was all that mattered, and the Daxamite could keep his incorrect opinions to himself, _if that helped him sleep better at night._

Kara giggled at that thought, and he looked at her puzzled, “You find this funny?”

Kara tried to stifle her laughter, “Oh no, I find you funny,” he was about to speak, probably to try to defend himself, but Kara did not allow him to interrupt her again, “What do we do?” she asked, trying to prioritize the situation at hand.

“May I?” he pointed to the ship behind her, seeking permission to examine it. She stepped aside and watched him crawl through the same hole she had escaped from. She could faintly hear him pushing some buttons, and trying to pound something? She moved her hair out of the way, and took a step closer to the ship to see if she can hear anything else, but then her ears rang with a high-pitched sound and then she could hear the chirping of birds, the waves hitting the Cliffside, and everything was magnified, and it felt like her ears were bleeding from the inside. All the sounds meshed together, resonating in her ear, and pounding against her skull. Just as she was about the collapse from the sound, the Daxamite jumped her out of her reverie, and the lack of concentration caused her ears to stop ringing.

“Just as I suspected, your motherboard it completely fried. I assume when our force fields connected it generated enough power that resonated throughout our ships that eventually short-circuited and then fried our entire systems,” he said, completely oblivious to what had just happened to Kara, “Daxam ships are meant to be indestructible from outside force, but the energy generated was internal. If the system just simply short-circuited I would be able to rework the board to be operational, however; both of our systems are completely ruined, and well your ship is missing its entire right chunk. We need to fix the motherboard, it may –.”

Kara scoffed, “Fix the motherboard? Do Explorers on Daxam not do research of the planet they plan to explore? According to the Intergalactic Union, Earth is a Level 7 planet, they do not possess the technology we need to be able to fix our ships. They have not even developed a proper sewage system and you expect them to have technology to fix our ships.”

“Are you finished?” he said, staring at her with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Yes I am.”

“See how I let you finish your monologue? Now if you had extended me the same courtesy, you would have heard me say ‘we need to fix the motherboard, it may take a couple hundred years’, and you might have saved yourself from that long and unnecessary speech. I know that Earth is a Level 7 planet, and for them to reach Level 10 it might take a couple hundred years, but I have to believe these _homo sapiens_ will figure out space travel, intergalactic relations, and aliens sooner rather than later. And I hope you know that Intergalactic Laws states that we cannot influence Earth’s discovery of space by revealing ourselves as aliens, they have to figure it out themselves.”

“Of course I know. If anyone is going to break that law, it will be you Daxamite,” Kara sneered, and then drooped her voice to a murmur, “As if anyone actually obeys that law anyway.”

“I know that law is hardly obeyed, and most aliens influence and guide newer planets to win their approval and force them into horrible treaties and unstable alliances, but I would like to follow the law Kryptonian. Come on now, let us hid these crafts. They obviously would influence these humans.”

“How do you expect us to move these crafts by ourselves? We do not possess the strength or means?”

“Well, this is new,” he chuckled, “A Daxamite knowing more than a Kryptonian. This must go down in the history books.”

“What do you mean?” Kara asked, not liking being mocked.

“Earth’s yellow sun, dear Kryptonian,” he pointed at the sun above them, “It grants us great strength and power.”

“What do you mean?,” Kara repeated herself, her question still unanswered by him, “We have learned that Earth’s yellow sun will grants us a longer life span, but what is this strength and power you speak of?”

“We discovered a similar planet like Earth in the Nebula Galaxy years ago, orbiting around a young sun, just like this one. It granted the Daxamite explorer enhanced strength, agility, and increased range in hearing,” Kara gasped at that revelation. Is that what happened to her moments ago?

“Oh, and longevity, as you noted,” he added on, “There was a cave near my crash site, we can hide our ships in there for the time being, until a more suitable location can be found,” he pointed in the direction behind her, and she noticed his crashed ship among the clearing of trees. He began to walk back to his ship, and Kara turned around to look at hers. She had the strength to move this ship with her bare hands? The thought made her chuckle, clearly the Daxamite had hit his head one too many times on his descent to this planet, but he was right about her increased hearing, so maybe he was right about this as well?

Kara moved to stand behind her ship and placed her hand on it and pushed the ship as hard as could, trying not to refrain herself. And to Kara’s shock, she actually saw the ship move across the grass. Bewildered, she removed her hands from the ship and saw two imprints of them etched into the metal. Krypton definitely did not know about this.

She returned her hands to the ship and continued to push it towards the cave’s entrance. The Daxamite and his ship were gone, so she could only assume that he already managed to get into the cave. She pushed her ship along the ground until it was right next to his in the cave. There wasn’t even an ounce of sweat on her, on Krypton she would pass out from running ½ a click, but even after all this she felt more energized than fatigued.

From her periphery, she saw him return with scraps of metal that must have detached from both of their ships. He then placed a black orb on the cave wall and pressed a button and a mirage generated from the orb and camouflaged both ships. The mirage looked like the cave wall. Kara walked through the mirage to notice her ship again, and then moved back to see it disappear.

“New Daxamite technology,” he said, “It will keep our ships covered from curious humans…for a while. Once you find a more secure location, just come back and grab your ship.”

Kara nodded, words escaping her. It finally dawned upon her that she was marooned on this planet, for what could be centuries, with no means of communication to her home world, her family. Tears began to brim in her eyes, she was an alien alone on this world, and her only company was an alien from her rival planet. Kara choked down a sob. No, this was her duty as an Explorer and she knew the risks when she embarked on the journey, she was going to be remain strong to honor her home world. The academy had prepared her, to an extent, just in case a similar situation like this occurred. They taught her how to survive on a different planets, how to assimilate, how to thrive, and she will take those teachings and endure till she was able to return back home. _Or you could die before Earthlings managed to successfully create the right technology_ , a voice echoed in her mind _._ She pushed those dreary thoughts away, she had to optimistic otherwise her will to survive would be crushed.

The Daxamite approached her, and held out his hand, “My name is Mon-El of the Explorer’s Coalition of Daxam. Thought you should know my name, it is better than being called Daxamite,” he winked at her.

Kara chuckled as she reached out to shake his hand, “My name is Kara Zor-El of the Research Union for Discovery and Exploration. So this our life now?” she sounded defeated.

“I guess so,” Mon-El shrugged. Kara couldn’t tell if her was hiding his sadness or he just didn’t care, “I hope to see you around Kara Zor-El, have fun exploring Earth,” there was no hint of sarcasm, or malice. He genuinely wished to see her around, and why wouldn’t he? They were the closet kin they had on this planet.

“I hope so as well.”


	2. Year 1779

**YEAR 1779**

**LOCATION: PENNSYLVANIA**

****

 

Kara walked down the long spiral staircase, her hands lightly gliding over the banister. She was wearing a light yellow-lilac dress that narrowed at her waist due to the corset that she was wearing. Kara had quickly learned that women of Earth where not allowed to wear anything besides dresses, and that they were expected to act more graceful, loving, and fragile, but most of all women had to be subordinate unlike the men around her. The idea enraged Kara, the treatment of women on this planet was abhorrent, and the treatment of different races was even more repulsive. However, Kara had to constantly remind herself that this was a Level 7 world, and she had hopes they would change for the better.

Things were already changing in the town she lived in. The Patriots had finally managed to conquer Philadelphia and had been living in the town for a few days, and would definitely stay longer to defend it from recapture from the King’s Men. Kara had quickly learned that as a woman she would be unable to hold any property, find a suitable home, or be accepted into society as a single independent woman. Therefore, she had pretended to be an orphan, which would not be far from the truth since it has been twenty-nine years since she left Krypton, and it was likely her parents had already passed on. She was adopted by a sweet couple, and given a place to sleep, and a place on their dining table. Kara knew she would have restart her life again in a few years due to be her inability to age, but that didn’t stop her from enjoying the life she had craved for herself right now.

The family she had been taking refugee with was invited to the Mayor’s Dinner to celebrate the expulsion of the Loyalist from the town. This was the reason Kara was wearing a more lavish dress, she had to look presentable for the dinner, and as her adoptive mother said _‘maybe to catch the eye of a patriot soldier’_. Kara scoffed at the notion, but her adoptive mother just smiled with a knowing look, as if she had the power to predict the future and she knew her soulmate was going to be at this dinner. 

“Oh my dear Kara, you look wonderful in that gown, did I not tell her so, Jeremiah,” her adoptive mother’s voiced echoed through the home when Kara stepped in the parlor room. Her adoptive mother rushed over to her, and cupped her cheeks as she continued to gush, “Such a beauty, no man will be able to resist you darling. I believe we should prepare for some wedding bells,” she moved to re-curl some of the ringlets that had gotten loose from the bun.

“Elizabeth, you are too kind,” Kara said, “however, I do doubt that any man will take interest in me.”

“Elizabeth is most right, dear,” Jeremiah interrupted, “I can almost hear the church bells ringing for your wedding,” Kara blushed at the thought of her imaginary marriage. She knew she would never find a suitable mate on this planet, but she always wished that one day she would be married on Krypton, however one day seemed to be hundreds of years in the future, but the idea still set butterflies lose in her stomach.

Jeremiah approached both her and Elizabeth, “No need to be embarrassed dear, we are all meant to get married,” he entwined his hand into Elizabeth’s. Kara admired the love between these two, they were almost forty years old, and based off the average Earthling’s life span, and they did not have many years left. It made moments like this more memorable to Kara, “Let us hurry, we would not wish to be late to the Mayor’s gathering, it would be an insult.”

Kara grabbed a shawl from the table, and they all moved outside to settle in the horse drawn carriage they had reserved this morning. Earthlings had barely advanced in the thirty years since she had been marooned on this planet, and Kara knew that until electricity and power were discovered, nothing would change about their way of life.

She sighed, she had barely come to terms with her fate a few years ago, but the dulling pain occasionally came back to haunt her. The loneliness was the most incapacitating, having no one of like mind to share her dreams, wishes, desires, excitement, stories, and histories with tortured her the most. She may have craved herself a place in this time, but she was round peg in a square hole, and she would never truly belong.

They chatted on their way to the Mayor’s Mansion on the far side of town. It was beautiful home, slightly isolated from the rest of the town. It was rumored to have eight bedrooms alone, and the courtyard alone was twice the size of her adoptive parent’s home. The Mayor lived a lavish lifestyle, and helped fund the Patriots campaign against the Loyalist if he was ensured to keep the same position after the fighting was over.

When they stopped in front of the mansion, she realized that the rumors hardly did it any justice. It looked grander than it was described to be, and the courtyard had an enormous pond in the center, where she observed many couple chatting. Every inch of the yard was groomed to perfection, and it looked like every possible colored plant was flowering from the ground.

A servant extended their arms towards her, and she was helped off the carriage, followed by Elizabeth being helped down by Jeremiah.

“It’s magnificent, it is not dear?” Jeremiah asked her, while grinning.

“It truly is,” Kara responded. Well, Krypton was more advanced than this mansion. Krypton has tall buildings, skyscrapers, and structures that Earthlings could not even begin to comprehend. Building made of nothing but glass that stood tall in the never-ending skylines. Flying transportation vehicles, and transit tracks that stretched across the ground and air. But for Kara Danvers, adopted daughter to Jeremiah and Elizabeth Danvers, this was breathtaking, and she needed to play the part.

Kara walked behind Jeremiah and Elizabeth as they approached the entrance of the mansion. She was greeted by a servant, handing her a glass of champagne, it was a type of alcohol that Earthlings had just discovered, so clearly the Mayor had spared no expense. She politely took the glass, and took a small sip. She had learned rather quickly that alcohol did not affect her due to her increased metabolism. It was main reason why Kara was forced to face the reality of her loneliness, she couldn’t drown her sorrows away in alcohol.

The mansion was breathtaking inside as well, every surface had candles burning, creating an illuminating atmosphere despite the darkness outside. The foyer itself was grand, with a chandelier hanging from the high ceiling, each podium on the chandelier lit with more candles. Momentarily, Kara was lost in the beauty of the candles as they reflected off the stain-glass windows.

Kara was jolted out of her thoughts by Elizabeth who led her to the main room. The entire room was void of furniture, instead there were four long tables placed horizontally, and one singular table was vertically placed relative to the others and slightly elevated. She assumed that the Mayor’s family, and the commanding soldiers would be sitting on that platform table, while the citizens of the town, and the remaining soldiers sat on the lower tables.

She walked towards the tables when Elizabeth and Jeremiah began conversing with their neighbors, Diane and John. She was admiring the setup, three different plates, different varieties and amounts of utensils, three different drinking cups, and neatly folded napkin in the center. This is how she imagined Daxam Royalty ate their meals when she was little, but it seemed like a norm in this world. It was an extravagant and extremely unnecessary set up to simply eat food, but if one had money this seemed like an apt way to flaunt ones fortune.

She swiftly walked across the lower tables, glancing at the name settings to find hers and her adoptive parents. She finally crossed her name at the third table, _Kara Danvers_ , written elegantly in ink. She picked up the card and ran her fingers across the letters, the name screamed at her, reminding her that Kara Zor-El was dead and buried, and she had done that to herself. She gulped down the remaining champagne in her glass as the thoughts that had been dormant for years began to emerge.

She glanced at the name card to the right of her, as her seat was the last one on the table. She expected the names to be Elizabeth or Jeremiah Danvers, but instead it was Captain Michael Matthews. Perplexed that her adoptive parents were not going to sit next to her, she started to look at the other name cards on the table in frenzy, ignoring the rather odd looks people gave her. With each card that didn’t have her parents name her paranoia increased.

She finally exhaled when finally found their cards. Her parents weren’t going to be seated next to her, but rather across from her. Kara began to relax, breathing out deeper breathes as she tried to calm down. The panic that had bubbled in her before had fizzled out. Kara hardly knew anyone in town since she barely began living here six months ago. She hadn’t been able to keep, _or even find_ , any friends. Sitting alone at the table while everyone mingled in merriment had frightened her.

“Kara, dear, come over here,” Elizabeth beckoned. She didn't even notice the full panicked frenzy Kara was in a moment ago.

Kara smoothed the nonexistent wrinkles off her gown and walked over to Elizabeth. She was talking to a young man, who she noticed was wearing a cornflower blue outfit indicating that he was solider in the Continental Army.  His arms were crossed behind his back, as he continued to chat with Elizabeth. He had dark long hair that was neatly wrapped in a bow, Kara had learned that this was a fashion trend in the world.

“Kara, this is Captain Michael Matthews, he is to be quartered at Diane and John’s home,” Elizabeth said, her voice ringing with joy.

A gasp escaped Kara when she turned to look at the Captain. She was stunned at the face she was greeted with. A face that she would never have thought to see again. Kara noticed that his expression reflected hers as well: confusion and disbelief. He narrowed his eyes at her, as if trying to ascertain if this was a dream or reality.

His face frequented her dreams, although she would never admit that out loud. The thought of him often cajoled her when she was in a crying stupor about her harsh reality. Although she hadn’t seen him in the last thirty years, the fact that she knew he existed reminded her that although she was alone, someone else was alone with her. But to find him in this small town in Pennsylvania was more just than a coincidence.

“Captain Matthews, this is my daughter, Kara Danvers,” his eyebrow quirked up at Elizabeth’s statement, the word daughter probably caused this reaction. His face shifted from his initial confusion to merriment, with a smile tugging at his lips. Kara was still dumbfounded at this entire situation, internally questioning Rao’s decision of letting them find each other again. 

She didn’t even realize that he had grabbed her hand and raised it up. Kara just let him follow through with his ministration as she continued to stare at him in a daze. He bowed at her and his lips gently brushed across the top of her hand, his eyes never leaving hers. He finally stopped skimming and placed a kiss on her hand, and that sensation finally jolted her out of her trance. He chuckled at her when Kara snapped her hand back. Kara looked at Elizabeth, but whatever she was planning on asking was stifled when Kara saw the beaming smile that ranged across Elizabeth’s entire face. Kara could practically hear the church bells ringing in Elizabeth’s mind right now.

“I shall leave the two of you to chat,” Elizabeth said, giving Kara a pointed look, “Now where did Jeremiah go?” she stepped closer to Kara and whispered to her, “Woo him,” before she scurried off. Kara blushed at Elizabeth’s lack of embarrassment and quickly looked away from him while she drowned in her own. She heard him chuckle next to her, of course he heard what Elizabeth had said, enhanced hearing and all. 

“Kara Danvers, huh? Kryptoni—.”

She hushed him quickly, grabbing his hand as she led him away from the crowd to find a more secluded place. However, the party was crawling with people and finding an isolated room was out of the question. Forgoing all societal expectations and norms she dragged him into the nearest bathroom.

“I don’t know about Krypton Kara Zor-El, but this would be such a scandalous act on this planet,” he grinned, finding humor in this awkward situation, “I think we will be married by the end of night if anyone finds us locked in the room together. Which I guess wouldn’t be that bad, your mother seems to love the idea,” he winked at her causing her to get even more frustrated.

“What are you doing here?” she hissed at him. Kara was still not sure whether she was happy or upset that he was here. Kara had an inkling as to why he was here based on his outfit, but she wanted more clear answers from him, “And why are you dressed like a solider?”

“Because I am solider in the Continental Army,” he bemused, “I think the rumors of Krypton’s intelligence are just rumors. Seeing all these silly questions you are asking.”

Kara scoffed. He was a solider for the Patriots? That just didn’t make any sense, “So I am too believe that a Daxamite is fighting on the side that is seeking freedom against the King? This is not a question of intelligence, but rather a question of if you think me a fool? I am to believe that you are fighting against Royalty?”

The light smile that had adorned him from since he had kissed her hand had finally faltered. An icy glare was now etched across instead, and his eyes pierced hers. Her breathe was caught in her throat as all emotion drained for his face leaving it devoid. Something about how his face contorted and the way his jaw clenched made her realize that she hit a nerve, “Do not presume to know who I am Kara Zor-El,” he gritted out, his intense gaze never weakening causing a shiver to run up her spine and goosebumps to trail across her exposed arms.

She waited for him to continue, to defend himself, to explain his actions, but he remained silent, “I’m sorry,” she managed to squeak out. He finally dropped his eyes, looking at the floor as if he was trying to compose himself again. Kara realized how out of line she was. She hardly knew the man before her, and hadn’t seen him in almost thirty years, and she didn’t mean to cause tension with the only person who had a connection to her home.

All she wanted was the smile to return to his face, that goofy crooked smile that held a certain boyish charm to it, “So you are staying with the Lane’s?” she whispered, her question pierced through the hostile environment that ebbed in the room, but she hoped her little inquiry would at least lighten the atmosphere a little.

He just nodded, still not meeting her gaze, “How long?” she asked, “The Lanes are very sweet people but they will drive you insane,” she hoped her statement would return his smile. But his eyes remained downcast, so Kara tried again, “They once had a conversation about their cow Bessy for an hour, and I had to politely sip my tea while they gushed over their proud Bessy, and the gallon of milk she had produced that morning,” Kara cheerfully said.

It as a complete over-exaggeration of that conversation, but she saw the corner of his lip began to tug upwards, “And when they talk about their golden chicken and the eggs she lays you may want to super speed off to the nearest guillotine.”

A smile flickered across his face, and deep chuckle reverberate through the room, “A guillotine?” he snorted, “I feel like I should change my sleeping assignments for the remainder of my stay.”

 _Remainder of my stay._ An odd sensation bubbled in Kara, one she wished she could quell. How long was he staying? True, she was confused and then upset when she had first seen him, but for the last two minutes she finally felt like herself. She talked to someone freely, and although she upset him deeply, finding a kinship with him would not be the worst thing in the world. She grinned at the thought her of new potential friendship.

“How long?” she repeated her previous question.

“A fortnight,” he responded, he was once again mirroring her expression, or at least she hoped he was, “I am an intelligence officer for the army, I don’t settle down in one place nor do I like too. I follow the bread crumbs. My enhanced hearing helps a lot,” he said cheekily while he tapped his ear, “But this fortnight will be even better with your company Kara Zor-El.”

“It’s Kara Danvers now.”

“Right, forgot about that.”

“And it’s Michael Matthews? Nice new name.”

“It’s also a very common name. Although I am jealous that you only needed to alter your last name,” even though he was smiling, she could see the sadness in his eyes, sadness that she often felt herself. Adapting to this new world was one thing, but changing their identities was another.

“Well your name isn’t the only thing you altered,” she gave a pointed look at him, but he remained puzzled, “Your hair, it’s longer,” she scrunched her nose.

“Ah yes, apparently long hair on men is a style in this century, had to grow it out to blend in better,” he explained, “Although I prefer my hair short and groomed. I can only hope that this hideous trend will fall out sooner rather than later. On Daxam, trends were constantly changing. A benefit though is that women do seem to adore the length. I have been called dreamy, handsome, and gorgeous,” he smirked as he basked in his own compliments.

Kara rolled her eyes,” Well I prefer it short, highlights your face better,” Kara did not mean to blurt that out, and quickly covered her mouth as if it would take her words back.

“Do you now?” he teased her, one eyebrow raised, quietly mocking her. Kara blushed, mentally yelling at herself for not filtering her thoughts. It was just an innocent observation that was going to be taken out of context, and if embarrassment could kill, Kara would be lying on the floor dead right now. Regaining some of her confidence, Kara shoved him away hoping that would remove that stupid, but adorable grin he had.

“Hey now,” he placed his hands up in mock surrender, “no need to be a _Grata_.”

A brief silence engulfed the room as they stared at each other, but then was quickly filled up with their joint laughter. The word was used as an insult before, but now it made her giggle and her heart swell. She had an inside joke with someone, on a planet where she still had not made a friend, she found a strange companionship with someone who should have been her sworn enemy.

“Have you even seen a _Grata_ before Mon-El, I mean Michael,” she corrected herself quickly.

“No, call me Mon-El. In private, call me Mon-El, out there Michael is fine. But here, when it is just the two of us, it’s Mon-El,” he pleaded, and she could see a glimmer of desperation in his eyes. She nodded her head immediately in agreement, understanding the meaning behind his wish. He just wanted to be called by his name, his true name, and if Kara couldn’t be empathetic to that, then no one else could.

“Okay, yes. So Mon-El, have you even seen a _Grata_ before, because if you had I do doubt you would call me one?”

“I have, in the Brym Forest on Daxam. Almost lost my leg trying to get close to observe it. Explorers are little too curious for their own good,” he mused.

“On Krypton we have been trying to tame them, though it is hard when they are fifty times the size of us. But it has been so many years, I wonder if they finally managed to accomplish that feat.”

“Daxam was trying as well…” his voice trailed off. Kara was hoping for a light conversation about their home worlds, she hadn’t expected it to turn so depressing so fast.

“New rule,” she said cheerfully, “only happy memories and thoughts about Daxam and Krypton. No sad, dreary thoughts – just happy ones.”

“You have yourself a deal Kara,” he outstretched his arm to seal this new promise. She expected him to a least think about her new rules, but he seemed just a keen to keep the sad memories at bay.

Kara extended her arm to shake his, but before she could even touch his hand, a knock on the door busted the bubble they had been living in for last ten minutes.

Kara looked at Mon-El in complete panic, not exactly knowing how to get out this room without bringing dishonor to the family that had been kind enough to shelter her, feed her, and adopt her. However, Mon-El didn’t even look like he cared, not even alarmed that they could be caught in a very compromising position. He gripped the door handle to open it before Kara could protest. There was only thought that was running through her mind, _they were going to be married by the day’s end._

Dread drowned Kara and she closed her eyes not wanting to face the backlash that was definitely going to happen, but she heard no gasp to indicate that they were caught red-handed. She opened one eye to peek at who was at the door and was greeted by a little girl, Anna. She was a little girl Kara often noticed at the town’s square when she went shopping. Anna peered at them both, bewilderment glazed over her eyes. Kara had avoided a catastrophe, well if Kara made sure this little girl didn’t blurt this out to anyone else.

“Anna, honey, let me explain –.”

“Are your helping him,” she pointed at Mon-El, “Like mother helps father?”

She was as innocent as her statement. Kara refused to look at Mon-El, because she knew he probably had the biggest smirk on his face right now.

Before Kara could say anything to clear up the confusion, Mon-El spoke, “Yes Anna, just like mother helps father,” Kara was stunned that Mon-El was going to go along with this lie. He just winked at her, and looked back towards Anna.

“Okay,” Anna responded, accepting that as the truth easily.

Mon-El pulled Kara out of the bathroom, as Anna entered it. He continued to drag her around the corner and then they halted before a window. Kara was fuming, while he tried to contain his laughter.

“Michael,” she hissed, they now had an audience, “what if Anna tells someone?”

“Nothing will happen Kara, I promise,” Mon-El tried to assure her, “She probably will not be able to recount this story to anyone.”

“But –.”

“Kara, please stop worrying. Please,” he implored, “She is little girl, she doesn’t know what she saw, and I highly doubt she is going to repeat that to anyone else. By the time she leaves the room, this will all be a distant memory for her.”

“Okay,” she hesitantly agreed, “But if she tells anyone, and I have to marry you, I will murder you in your sleep and become the town’s spinster!” Mon-El cowered slightly at her warning, but he too busy looking around at their surroundings to recognize the full extent of her threat, “Michael are you listening –.”

“We can’t freely talk about our homes with this audience, or even anywhere in public,” he stated. Kara nodded in agreement, even though she was confused by the tonal shift of their conversation. Of course they would have to talk in private, but how many opportunities of privacy will they be privileged to within the next fortnight?

Mon-El stared at her, as if he was trying to silently communicate, he tapped his ears as if it was a signal Kara was supposed to understand. He then covered his mouth as if was coughing, but with her enhanced hearing she picked up the words he was mumbling and figured out what he was trying indicate, “We can talk about it publicly if we use different words. Say Knoxville instead of Krypton, and I’ll say Durham instead of Daxam. No one will question actual towns that exist in this world. And if other words or names can’t blend into this environment just substitute it with another more appropriate word.”

Kara nodded in excitement. It was going to be challenge but she liked the idea of this game, it enticed her. They just walked around the mansion with Kara’s hand wrapped around Mon-El’s arm, only conversing with themselves. Talking about their home worlds, hearing stories, learning new things. Kara told Mon-El about her to trip to Ozata Canyon on Krypton, where she was so lost in the beauty of the scenery before her, that she tripped over a rock and broke her arm. She was taken to the nearest Medic Center and her entire trip was ruined. Mon-El had chuckled as she recounted the story, but full-on cackled when she told him that this happened only two year prior to her departure to Earth, meaning she was a twenty-six year old grown woman.

Kara talked about the skies on the Krypton, the mixture of different red hues, and the breath taking sunsets when the red-sun clashed against the violet clouds. She talked about her family, her first mission off Krypton, her very first transportation accident. With every tale she narrated, the less she felt abandoned, lost, and alone.

Mon-El just listened to her stories, occasionally adding a comment, but mostly just smiled. When Kara asked if he wanted to share a story, he would say that today was her day, tomorrow he will drown her in his stories. The thought fluttered her heart. She had many more days to spend with him, to fill this void she had been feeling, and she going to be milk every moment she could have him to the fullest.

They finally settled into the dining area, which conveniently had Mon-El sitting next to her. Maybe Rao noticed her loneliness and set him here to help quench that feeling. She silently thanked Rao as they continued to chat. Kara was delighted that the alias of Knoxville allowed the conversation to flow smoothly without questioning glances being shot at her.

It wasn’t long before her mouth was running dry due to her talking so much. Kara sipped some water as Mon-El talked another solider. Elizabeth and Jeremiah finally came to sit down since the dinner was about to commence. Elizabeth looked between her and Mon-El, and Kara knew exactly what was running through her head. While Mon-El was conversing with another solider seated next to him, his arm was resting against the back of her chair. Elizabeth winked at Kara, causing her to choke on the water. She tried to catch her breath, but when she felt a hand rubbing her back even her cough got stuck in her throat. She turned to see a very concerned Mon-El asking her if she was okay. She nodded her head, but he continued to rub his hand against her back. She looked up to see Jeremiah and Elizabeth speaking to each other in hushed tones, occasionally glancing at her and Mon-El.

As much as she was delighted to spend Mon-El’s remaining days with him, it was going to be torture returning home to her adoptive parents arranging her nuptials that were never going to happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @juliakaze for being so lovely and patient with me, and making the aesthetics for each chapter. @karamelmondaes for making the Kara manip :) 
> 
> I got this idea from one of juliakaze's time period aesthetics. And the prequel comic to Man of Steel where Kara crash lands on Earth 10000 years prior the events of Man of Steel.  
> Originally this was suppose to be a one shot, but the creative juices took control and now it is an eight chapter fic lol. 
> 
> The chapter is un-betaed, and I did do some editing but I wanted to get this out to you guys asap so please ignore mistakes, and I will post an edited version later :)  
> Also, I tried to use time period consistent language, but it took too long, and was difficult. So I gave up rather quickly. 
> 
> Hope you guys liked it! :) So what do you think will happen next?


	3. Year 1813

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting the new chapter guys. I was on a mini three day vaca to Calif this weekend and it took up most of my writing time. So I just finished Chapter 6, so here is Chapter 3 for y'all.
> 
> @juliakaze as always ... for being so support and patient with me. Even when I suggest last minute changes to the aesthetics. Love you! :) 
> 
> Also, for Jane and Prita -- since you both loved Captain Michael Matthews so much, I am going to write a companion piece after Across Time is over about the escapades of Kara and Mon-El in 1779! <3 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy the Chapter. This one is mostly set up for the rest of the story, and as always -- please ignore mistakes and I will update an edited one soon!

**YEAR 1813**

**LOCATION: ATLANTIC OCEAN**

****

 

A strong gust of wind swept across the entire deck, causing loose papers to fly away, mini dust tornadoes to pop up near the sandbag pulleys, and for parents and children alike to huddle back into the safety of the interior of the main deck so they could avoid the steady onslaught of the harsh winds. Kara, however, stood by the railing of the long ship, hands laying on the wooden railing as she basked in the threatening weather. Eyes closed, and a lingering smile on her face as the gusts of wind felt like a gentle breeze and nothing more. She smiled towards the sky, loving the gloomy weather. Clouds overcast across the entire sky, with the sun refusing to peek out. Miles away from their boat there seemed to be a storm brewing above the ocean, and Kara was uncertain if the storm would make its way towards the ship. Although, the idea of heavy rain, thunderstorms, and lightning in the open ocean enticed her, she didn’t think the Earthlings would be able to survive such a storm on the sea. Over the course of her stay on Earth, she had learned that humans were a lot tougher than she made them out to be, but in the end – nature always wins.

“Madam,” a voice shouted behind her, “The storm is growing strong, it would be best if you sought refuge in the ship,” he screamed over the raging storm, but when Kara made no effort to move towards shelter, she picked up on his nearing footsteps.

A smile tugged on Kara’s lips, she was certain she knew this voice. It was a hard baritone voice that often lulled her into sleep like a melody. She hadn’t heard that voice in over forty years, hell she even convinced herself that meeting up in 1779 was a fluke of fate, and their path would never cross again. But Rao always has a plan, right? She heard the footsteps come to halt behind her, and her smirk grew. It was him, and she knew it.

“Madam, please,” he implored.

“I think you are following you me,” Kara whispered, still refusing to turn to him.

“Madam, I do not know what you are saying, but please, would you please come inside,” he pleaded once more.

“First you follow me to Earth, landing the same day as I. Then you come to my little old town in Pennsylvania and are quartered at my neighbors in 1779,” she heard a sharp gasp behind her but still continued, “and now you are sailing on the same ship I am,” Kara mused, “so yes, I do believe you are following me.”

“Kara,” he murmured, utterly dumbfounded.

She turned to see that he was completely shell-shocked. Using his brief moment of confusion, Kara let herself take his presence in. He wore a jet black coat, and white tunic underneath his corral green vest. His hair was matted by the humidity that hung in the air. It seemed like his hair was shorter, and Kara thanked Rao that he no longer had the awful ponytail. He looked frozen in the moment, with his eyes wide, and mouth open like he was going to say something, but the words refused to come out. Kara just grinned a thousand watt smile, holding back a chuckle from seeing his completely stunned face. Truth be told, if Kara was on the receiving end of this, she probably would have been stunned as well. But she wasn’t on the receiving end. No, she had figured out that it was him, and she found that gloating was a much better alternative. Internally however, it was entirely a different story. How could she even describe it? Downright flabbergasted – that’s how she felt. Although there was a small hint of pure, unadulterated happiness that this initial fluke of fate was turning into a pattern. The odds of meeting him should be against her.

She stared at him, hoping that we would finally say something, and she slowly saw a smile crack on his face, as the reality of the moment finally settled upon him, “Hi,” he finally breathed out.

“Hi,” she giggled, both of them oozing with happiness and laughter. They held each other’s gaze, and Kara desired to throw her arms around him and squeeze him tight, but decorum of this century prevented her from following through with that. Her hands fiddled at her sides, not quite sure if she should shake his hand, or just wave instead.

She settled with turning back around to face the sea, and he moved next to her, looking out as well. Kara laid her hands on the railing, and he moved his to rest on top of them as well. One slight movement of either of their pinkies, and their fingers would be grazing – touching each other. The thought sent a jolt of electricity through her, and her face snapped to his. She wondered if he felt the same sensation as she did. This innate pull that she couldn’t quite understand. And if he did, he was so much better at masking his emotions than she was. Clearly unable to decipher his emotions, she looked back at the sea, and a silence over took them, not quite knowing how to approach the conversation further.

What were they going to talk about? They had almost forty years to catch up on, but all that just felt trivial right now. The company between them both was more important than catching up. She and Mon-El had spent two weeks together when he was stationed in her town.

Two weeks of them walking around the town, talking about their fond memories of Krypton and Daxam. Two weeks of Elizabeth and Jeremiah asking her when they were going to be married. Two weeks of woman her age giving her jealous stares. Two weeks of them speaking about their dreams, and aspirations before they were marooned on this planet. Kara wanted to be the Explorer Prime, as in the head of the Research Union for Discovery and Exploration of Krypton. While Mon-El wished to be stationed on another planet, and be a Head Marshal where he would lead the exploration and be a liaison between both planets. When Kara asked if he had a specific planet in mind, he always responded with ‘Any planet that is not Daxam’. Kara always wished to divulge further into why, but after she saw him react hostilely in the bathroom after the mention of Daxam, she didn’t want their fun two weeks to be spoiled.

But what Kara remembered the most of those two weeks was that it was the first time she no longer felt alone since being trapped on Earth. Her breath hitched, was she about to feel like that again?

“You’re wrong,” Mon-El finally broke the silence.

Mon-El turned to her while grinning at her.

“How so?” Kara questioned him, her eyebrows furrowed, genuinely confused about his declaration.

“I’m not following you.”

“Really? And how is that so?”

“Well, firstly, Daxam had no idea that Krypton wanted to explore Earth, so really I couldn’t have been following you, and second, this is my ship you are on. Therefore, you are technically the one following me if we really wanted to answer that question.”

“This is your ship?” Kara asked. She hadn’t known the captain or owner of this ship when she boarded it. She was looking for a cheaper fare for passage across the Atlantic Ocean. The nicer cruise lines were affordable, and she would have taken passage on one of those cruise lines but a cheaper alternative popped up and she changed her plan. Perhaps she was stingy? But she preferred to be economically responsible, especially if she had to live for generations on this planet. And the trade war between the countries did not help with fare prices, and she couldn’t just spend her pocket change on an extravagant cruise when there was another ship that did the same job of providing her passage across the Atlantic but at a cheaper price.

“Yes. Bought this ship about five years ago, voyaged across the Caribbean Islands, and the southernmost tips of this continent. You know, explored, as I was sent to do,” he looked away sheepishly, “Although I took my time since I have so much to spare,” his eyes lit up and he hadn’t even gotten to the details, “The islands are beautiful Kara, you must visit them. The weather, the people, the culture… Kara you must voyage their soon. I could not even begin to explain it, I will show you my journal instead. How about you? How many places have you explored?”

Kara felt her cheeks burn, she wasn’t quite sure what she was feeling. Nervous? Embarrassed? Ashamed? She hadn’t actually done much exploration. The Research Union for Discovery and Exploration wanted reports regarding the species rather than the actual geographical layout of the world. But the Earthlings were spread across their entire planet, and so many different cultures and lifestyles had emerged from their lack of connection and coalition. Earth was one of the few planets that had a divided government, rather than one central one that governed the entire population. Typically, this would be an exciting adventure for Kara. So many different cultures to explore.  But Kara just lacked the willpower to actual seek them out. Like Mon-El had said, she had time to spare, so why rush? Normally, explorers spent two years observing and reporting back to the main base on Krypton about the planet they were stationed on. And then the Research Union would decide if further studies were needed, or not. But now she had about two hundred or so years to spare, and she didn’t need to rush at all.  

“Just the Eastern Seaboard for the North American continent, not much,” Kara said, which wasn’t a complete lie. She had begun exploring the different cultures across the shoreline, but just gave up, lacking the determination to complete her mission. A different town, a different city, a different location every couple of months. It was a tiring and lonely affair, and having to repeat that process over and over again weighed on her.

“Really! We should compare notes. I covered the Eastern Seaboard about thirty years ago. Began right after the war ended. Well, actually,” Mon-El jumbled with his words, he was anxious, and terrified, “I stopped by Philadelphia after the war,” he cleared his throat, “to find you. But you weren’t there.”

Kara felt like the wind was knocked out of her. He actually tried to find her _. He went back for her_. Kara’s heart was racing, and she didn’t know why. She cursed her fate for making her leave Philadelphia before Mon-El returned, _returned to her_. Maybe she would have had a different life for the last forty years? They would have been together, she would have been with him. However fate had a different plant – Rao had a different plan. The town drunk has seen her rescue a little girl from a burning barn, and although his words were not credible, people started whispering about her, and the rumors began to spread. Kara was forced to fake her own death. She used a body from the war as her double, she lit a small shed on fire, and her life with the Danvers was over, and even if she wanted to, she could never look back. Instead she spent the last forty years trying to fill the hollowness that was left in her after Mon-El left her, and when she was forced to leave the Danvers.

“They were close to figuring out my secret,” Kara said stoically, trying to suppress the memories of her life with Danvers’s from surfacing, and stop the tears from flowing out.

Mon-El just simply nodded his head, not asking further question which she was grateful for.

“Right so,” Mon-El tried to change the subject, “I was in the Caribbean when I heard about a man who had discovered atoms and many of their properties –“

“John Dalton!” Kara exclaimed.

“Yes, you heard of him?” Mon-El asked, getting just as excited as Kara.

“Why else would I be on ship heading east? I need to go to visit the man in Manchester. Learn exactly what he knows, and how I can gently push him in the right direction. If necessary,” she added the last part after she saw Mon-El’s disappointed look, “I am just being a curious and encouraging person Mon-El, not breaking Intergalactic Law by simply guiding a single man in his research that is still centuries away from actually helping us get off this planet.”

It took forever for Mon-El to speak again. As if he trying to gauge whether Kara would technically be breaking the law or not…

“Right. Well after being on this planet for almost seventy years, I might want to break Intergalactic Law as well. Maybe I should help you,” he mused, and Kara embraced the lightheartedness of his words, “since, you are going to need my help anyway, with fixing your Motherboard –”

“I’m not going to need to your help at all,” Kara scoffed. It felt like she was teasing him, but it came off as her being a snobby Kryptonian, even if it was done unintentionally.

“Right…We learned about the Research Union for Discovery and Exploration on Daxam, and as much they loved _exploring_ ,” he said that word sardonically, “they never really invested in teaching their Explorer’s about engineering. The Explorer’s Coalition of Daxam thought differently, and I was taught electrical, systemic, and mechanical engineering. But if you don’t need my help, I should just leave right now,” he started to walk away, but Kara quickly grabbed, and hurtled him into her. Kara didn’t even realize that she used her full strength on him.

“Please don’t leave me,” she choked out, her eyes downcast and her grip on his arm firm.

“Hey. Hey. Kara, look at me,” Mon-El cupped her cheeks, trying to get her to look at him, “I was kidding. Of course I am going to help you. I think the Gods would be very upset with me if I didn’t help you. And if there were no Gods, I would still want to help you Kara. I would never leave you stranded on this planet. Okay. I would never willingly leave you. I need you to understand that Kara.”

His voice and claims slowly soothed her, and Kara weakly shook her head, “Yes, of course,” she gently guided his hands away from her face, “I’m sorry. I don’t know what overcame me. I’m sorry,” Kara choked out a fake chuckle. Hoping that would be enough for him to not press the conversation further, otherwise Kara would be swallowed whole in her own embarrassment. It was just a moment of weakness, brought upon by the talk of Philadelphia. She was reminded of the Danvers, and she had begun to crack against the heaviness of her aching heart. Pain and desperation had trickled into this moment, this moment of weakness.

“So back to John Dalton,” she steered the conversation, still avoiding Mon-El’s watchful gaze.

It seemed like Mon-El wanted to press her further on this outburst, but Kara only wished to avoid it like the plague. She really didn’t understand how Mon-El seemed so much calmer about this entire ordeal than she did. She kept breaking down, and he just remained so whole and composed. How? She wanted to ask him how he did that. But whatever the reason, she did not wish to divulge further into it and hash out old wounds right now. She was happy swallowing her pain, “His theories on atom’s look promising, especially his analysis that all matter is composed of atoms. I also want to assess how the rest of the scientific community is reacting to his theory. Especially, considering that he is right, and this planet does not have a good track record when it comes to new discoveries that question their fundamental existence. From the brief headline I saw in the papers, it looked like he is theorizing about the atoms themselves. That atoms having different sizes and masses, and how they can interact with other elements. Earthlings are on the brink of another major discovery, and they have no idea yet. We should really –“

“Kara,” Mon-El interrupted her little monologue, “We need to talk about what just –“

“No.”

“Kara, please –“

“No, Mon-El,” her eyes bore into his, and they refused to look away. Silently trying to remind him of when she stopped asking him question about his opinions on Daxam, and he should return that favor in kind, and stop questioning her about this. But if Kara was stubborn, so was he and they continued to stare each other down.

“Not right now. Please,” Kara tried another approach, realizing that Mon-El was going to remain adamant, and wasn’t going to forget her outburst no matter how much she tried.

“You were saying,” Kara racked through her mind of their conversation before it was derailed when lots of unwanted and surprising feelings came out, “You were in the Caribbean, and you heard about Dalton. If this is a voyaging ship, why are you taking passengers across the sea, huh? Did you do it for the extra money?” Kara jokingly said, albeit still curious about his response. His eyes remained focused on hers, as if trying to determine whether it was worth it to leave the previous conversation behind. Kara promised to return to it later, but would she really? The crinkle that had formed on Mon-El’s forehead, the crinkle that screamed how worried he was for her, slowly began to dissipate. As the crinkle straightened, a smile began to form.

He chuckled, “Yes, uhm, about that,” Kara was grateful that he decided to move on, although it seemed as if he did move on begrudgingly. Despite his grin and laughter, Kara could see the concern in his eyes.

Mon-El rubbed the back of his neck as he thought about how best to approach this story, “When I heard about Dalton’s contribution, I was hesitant to believe that it was true. His theory was correct, but I just thought it was too good to be true. But then I finally got a copy of his book, where he outlined and presented his findings, and I knew for certain that progress was being made. Accurate progress was being made. I realized that I had to meet him, to find out exactly how he figured it out, and what else he might know, and…and just see the scope of what is being uncovered so I can try to determine how long it is going to take before I can finally send a message back to Daxam,” Kara heard his breath hitch when he mentioned Daxam. The eyes that refused to look away from her before, finally wavered. He turned towards the ocean, looking at the bleary expanse filled with storm clouds off the horizon and continued to tell his story.

“So I gathered up my crew immediately, and decided to sail off. But in my hurry, I forgot to store up on provisions for my crew. I docked on a North Carolina port, and learned from other Captains that due to the trade war between the United States and the United Kingdoms, cargo ships and other non-passenger ships are more heavily scrutinized at ports and more likely denied passage. But passenger filled ship, they are greeted with more leniency at the docks. So I offered cheap fares to potential passengers, stocked up, made some money, and was ready to meet the man that might help me get off this planet,” he turned towards her and smirked, “And getting to see you again just made this entire adventure more pleasant.”

“Likewise,” Kara snorted, before a giggle escaped her.

“CAPTAIN!” Kara and Mon-El whipped around towards the voice. A boy was standing on the upper deck, yelling down at Mon-El and her, “WE WILL AVOID THE CENTER OF THE STORM BUT WE MAY EXPERIENCE SOME HEAVY RAIN! ME AND THE LADS WILL MAN THE DECK,” he yelled above the raging wind. Wind that Kara forgot about it, “WHILE YOU TAKE THE PRETTY LADY TO HER QUARTERS CAPTAIN!” The boy winked at Mon-El, the implication of his statement not lost on Kara. Although the likelihood of anything occurring was zero, but the fact that this boy thought it, and Mon-El didn’t out right refute it, caused Kara to blush like an innocent maiden.

The boy chortled as he walked away, clearing noticing that embarrassment on Kara’s face.

Kara felt his arm snake around her waist, and his hand was resting near her hip, and he gently tried to tug her towards the entrance of the main deck, “Come on Kara, let us go to my cabin and talk some more.”

“Talk? In your cabin?” Kara questioned him. As if the boy assuming something more was going between them wasn’t mortifying enough, her being in his cabin would turn the assumptions into half-truths.

“Well, since I actually have tables, and chairs where we can sit and talk freely, unlike in your quarters where there is just a bed. Or we could continue to talk calmly on the deck while a wild storm is raging on because that isn’t the least bit suspicious.”

A valid point, Kara thought. His hand now moved to the small of her back, gently pushing her to move again. Her back burned where his hand decided to settle. Mon-El was clearly forgetting the proper social etiquette of this time, “and we can have some tea?”

“Tea?” that was the only thing she could say. His hand was clouding her thoughts, and her mind couldn’t focus on anything else but the hole that was burning on her back.

“Yes, tea,” he laughed, “a drink often served the milk and sugar. I am sure you have had tea before Kara. I do vividly remembering sitting in the parlor room of the Danvers, politely sipping tea as they dropped about a million marriage hints. Pretty sure they had our wedding planned down to the last detail. I think we both drank about three pots of tea each to avoid talking about our impending marriage that day. Although I do believe we would have had the most beautiful wedding in town,” he winked at her.

“Oh shut it,” Kara bellowed, as she felt blood rush to her cheeks again. She shoved his burning hand off her back, and forcefully nudged him forward, “Lead the way, Captain!”

He walked towards the door, stopping right before it, “On one condition Kara,” he turned to face her, while his body rested against the doorframe, “just one condition,” he said cheerfully.

“How do you have any sort of upper hand that you think you can lay out a condition,” Kara crossed her arms across her chest.

“Well, I am giving you passage on my ship –.”

“I paid for passage.”

“I am giving you wonderful company,” Kara snorted, “…and I actually have a meeting set up with John Dalton, if you wish to come with me.”

Kara’s eye bulged out, and she gently slapped him. Not possible! How did he manage to do that? It was impossible to determine whether it was a lie or not, but she couldn’t believe the words that came out of his mouth, “No you don’t!”

“Yes I do,” he said cheekily, “Written about fifty letters before I got a response. I am still not sure whether he wanted the letters to stop, or was amazed by my profound review of his findings. I guess I will find out soon enough…and you are more than welcome to join me…on one condition.”

Kara groaned. There was no way that she was going to get an actual face to face time with Dalton without her pulling some sort of trickery, and now this perfect opportunity just landed in her lap and she couldn’t just refuse it out of spite. But what would Mon-El ask for? She couldn’t even begin to speculate, but she figured it had to be something bad if he had to lay it out as a condition. Only one way to find out, “What’s the condition?”

Kara closed her eyes, preparing for the worst, “Explore Europe with me.”


	4. Year 1862

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @juliakaze for creating this aesthetic, the one that sparked this entire story!
> 
> Sorry for the delay in posting the chapter, last night was hectic but here it is!  
> I have already started the last chapter of the story --- oh my gosh I am so excited and scared!

**YEAR 1862**

**LOCATION: NEW JERSEY**

****

Drops of red merged into the water, the color creating intricate designs before it finally blended in. Kara continued to wash her hands, trying to get rid of all the blood that had just stained her skin when she helped a solider – no – when she had ruined a man’s life. Kara scrubbed her hands harder, hoping the red stain would be washed away from her skin, but no matter how much she scrubbed, cleaned, or grinded her hands against the clean cloth and soap, her hands would never truly be cleansed of the blood. It remained as a reminder of what she had done to this young man, a man who had an entire life ahead of him, a man whose life she had helped derail.

Kara kept telling herself:  it wasn’t her decision, it wasn’t her call, and it wasn’t her fault. But no matter how much she repeated those words in her head, the guilt wouldn’t escape her. The young solider had come in with a broken bone, his fibula quite literally jarring out his leg. And the leg was twisted in the wrong direction. While trying to set the fracture, the doctor had discovered an infection, there was a dirty bullet lodged between his tibia and fibula, and removing it wouldn’t have helped, the infection had already spread. Only one alternative was left: amputation. Kara protested harshly to the doctor’s decision. Amputation would have resulted in the end of this person’s life, this world had no technology to help amputees. Hell this world couldn’t even accept different people of different skin, they weren’t going to be inclusive to people with disabilities, Kara was sure of it.

However, Kara knew that the main reason for her protest was more than just for the sake of this unknown young man’s life, it was because of the short-comings, and guilt, and her inability to actually do something that were weighing on her. Back on Krypton, they had technology to help this man. Medicine and bioengineering had advanced so much on Krypton that artificial appendages had the ability to work as normal limbs, and they had been created and integrated into society seamlessly. The best part? Hardly any cases had gotten that far that they needed artificial appendages, since medical advancements prevented amputation from occurring. That was why Kara felt so disgusted by the events before her, because she knew that somewhere in this universe, the care and help that this man needed existed and he couldn’t get it.

The worst part? Kara hailed form a world where this medical knowledge existed and she could do nothing to help him. She knew of these advancements, but she was no doctor or physician, she was just an explorer. And a horrible explorer to add to that.

Her skin pulsed as she continued to rub her hands against the cloth, the basin filling up with more blood and with her guilt, disappointment, and overwhelming sensation of helplessness. Kara tried to hold back her tears that were dangerously close to pooling out of her eyes. Not only did the man lose his legs, but when the doctor delivered the news when the man was finally lucid, he simply just said ‘it’s okay’, and beamed a smile before he fell back into a deep slumber.

The strong vindication that man expressed for his cause pained Kara even more. Kara believed in the cause as well: abolition and equality. Krypton was a democracy that preached and practiced equality for all. Slavery was something she abhorred since she first interacted with society on this planet. It made her sick to her stomach watching the brutal treatment of slaves, just because they were different and could be easily subjugated. The only thought that lulled Kara from watching this occur for almost a hundred years was that this was a Level 7 planet, and they were still primitive in certain aspect. They barely just breached into Level 8 territory. Kara had learned from her Intergalactic Studies course that all planets evolved differently. Some always had equality, some had slavery that was later outlawed, and occasionally there were planets that started with equality and later resorted to slavery. Kara had held onto hope that Earth would eventually get rid of this vile practice, and just when they were one step closer to reaching that goal, she wished for the war to end?

It was a just and noble cause, and those always came at a cost. Kara took a deep breath, remembering all the times Krypton had warred with itself in make sure that peace and equality reigned across the land. The wars were bloody, and countless lives were lost, but in the end peace and equality won, so doesn’t the need of the many outweigh the cost of a few?

Despite the many wars that Krypton had engaged in, the most bloodied war was between Krypton and Daxam, a war that ended with Daxam’s independence. Daxam’s freedom hurt Kryptonians the most. This war happening right now, this Civil War, reminded Kara of Krypton’s war with Daxam. Daxam was a direct sister planet, orbiting the same sun. Family’s lived on both planets, travel between both planets was frequent, and prosperity of one ensured the prosperity of the other. But after the war started, people picked sides, families were torn apart, communication ceased between the planets, and Krypton and Daxam had never been able to forgive each other. The grudge, an enmity that lasted for five hundred years, and Kara strongly believed that if she returned to Krypton a hundred years from now, the animosity would still be there. Kara also knew that Daxam held a different perspective than Krypton on what had actually caused the war, and what had transpired. History is based on who writes the story, not what is fact, and she wondered how the history books were going to spin the tale of the war they were currently fighting. How many casualties and deaths were going to written in margins of the book to let people know how brutal it had been?

Kara glanced at her hands, looking over them to see if there was any blood left. _As if the blood will ever go away?_ The thought echoed in her mind, and Kara tried to brush it off by brushing her hands against her nurse’s apron to dry them. Kara took another deep breath while she continued to dry her hands, her eyes looking towards the ceiling and refusing to look at the blood-stained basin below her. She walked towards the cabinets to grab some pain-reducing medication for her patient.

She scoffed…her patient. She just hacked off his right leg and she didn’t even know the man’s name. A bitter taste ran through her mouth, and she tried to swallow the unwelcoming flavor away as she looked through the cabinet for the medication the doctor had ordered her to administer. Kara often struggled to read the ink-written words of this time, she was used to the electronic way of communication from Krypton. Her own penmanship was rather awful.

Finally, she located the two bottle she needed: morphine and aspirin. Morphine was the drug of choice at the turn of the 19th century, and when doctors didn’t quite know how to relive the pain, besides alcohol, they often mixed different drugs together. Kara grabbed a mortar and pestle and began grinding the drugs together. After they were grinded into sawdust, she mixed it into a water glass and made her way to the patient’s bed.

As she approached, she heard whispering from the room. Kara didn’t know that the man was already awake, or that he even had any guests.

“Major, you needn’t come all this way to see me,” the man spoke. Kara was relieved to hear no agony is his voice, although the words came out rather strained, “I’m just –.”

“James, you are a man in my ranks, why would I not come to see you? And even if you weren’t, you are my friend,” Kara stopped breathing.

_No._

_No. No. No no no._ Kara’s grip on the glass tightened. Usually she was great at controlling her strength, but right now her focus so was shattered that she might even break the glass. A million different thoughts were resonating in her head. _What? How? Now? Why? WHY?_ She couldn’t face him. She was scared, she was a coward, and she was humiliated.

Kara peered through the cracked door to see him standing in a blue uniform. He was holding the man’s hand and had a reassuring smile on his face. Oh Rao, how she missed that smile. He had grown out his beard, but still hadn’t aged a day like her. She drank in his sight because she wasn’t going to see him, she just needed a moment to look at him and then forget this ever happened. Hopefully, she would get another nurse to administer the drugs. However, it was the evening, and she and only one other nurse were on shift right now. Kara just had to track her down, ask her for this favor, maybe take over one of her patients and she might agree, or perhaps a doctor could do it instead, or she could wait for him to leave –

“ARGH,” the man, James, yelled out in anguish.

“Captain! James! Are you okay? Do you want me to get the doctor? Where does it hurt?” Mon-El asked, panicked.

“It’s okay Major. The doctor informed me the nurse will be here shortly with the medication. I will feel better soon,” James gritted out through his clenched teeth.

Kara closed her eyes. The man was in pain. James was in pain. She couldn’t just go on a mission to ask another nurse for help, the man was in pain and she had the solution in her hands. She could face Mon-El, she had to face Mon-El. The fate she once praised for making these chance meetings occur, she now cursed. Kara exhaled, and opened the door.

“Good to see you are awake James,” Kara walked in, looking at James and avoided Mon-El like the plague. What would his face look like? Confused, happy, or angry? Kara didn’t want to find out, “I have the pain medication that doctor ordered. It might take a while to actually work, but once it does you will feel infinitely better. Here you go,” she handed him the glass of water, “Drink up.”

“Thank you miss…” James said.

“Kara. Nurse Kara,” Kara responded. She could feel the hole that Mon-El was burning into the side of her face but she couldn’t look at him, she was too scared, “I’ll be taking care of you for the rest of your recovery. The first night is always the hardest, but I am quartered in the boarding home next to the hospital so if you ever need anything just tell someone to give me a holler,” Kara fixed up his bed as she said her monologue. The elephant in the room getting bigger, “Come on now, drink up,” Kara said again when she noticed that he hadn’t even taken a sip.

James chugged the entire glass of water, and Kara couldn’t blame him. The thought of relief was probably so tantalizing to him.

“This is Major Michael Matthews, my ranking officer,” James introduced him, with a glint of pride in his voice, “and my friend.”

Kara swore the entire room froze when she looked at him. His steel blue eyes pierced her so harshly that she thought she was cut in two. Kara initially didn’t want to see him, didn’t want to see the emotions on his face. But now looking at him, his face was devoid of anything. No expression, no emotions, just stoic. Now she wished she could get some signal as to what his feelings might be.

“Pleasure,” Kara choked out, betrayed by the weakness in her voice.

“Likewise,” his voice was so monotone that Kara’s heart broke a little. She was the cause of this.

No other words were exchanged, and the room grew quiet. The silence was suffocating her, and Mon-El’s burning glare wasn’t helping her at all.

Kara cleared her throat, hoping her voice wouldn’t betray her again, “So James. We should leave you to rest. My shift is over, but as l said – if you need anything, just tell someone to call me. I am right next door,” Kara smiled at him, and tucked his blanket in, “Major, after you,” she pointed towards the door behind them.

Mon-El sauntered off towards the door, while Kara followed like a shadow. She gently closed the door behind and hoped she could walk off without Mon-El noticing. But, she took one step before she felt herself being forced back. Mon-El had gripped her arm and pulled her towards him. Kara fell into him and she stabilized herself by placing her hands on his chest.

She gently pushed herself off, but Mon-El continued to grip her arm as if she would run away the moment he let go. Kara couldn’t fault him on that, she had tried to run away a second ago.

“Kara,” his voice hoarse, “it’s…um. Um nice seeing you again. I was worried that after you left, we would never see each other, and the way we left it, the way I left it… I didn’t want that to be the last memory of you.”

Perplexed, Kara’s eyes boar into his. He seemed to be genuine and that wounded Kara even more. He had no fault in the events that had transpired. Kara was the one who started it and ended it, but he seemed to feel just as guilty. This wasn’t the reaction Kara had hoped for, she wanted him to be angry at her, for him to lash out her, just as she had done to him. But instead, he was being so sweet, and sincere, which proved that Kara was indeed a horrible person.

Kara was at a loss for words. How could she articulate how sorry she was at how she acted? What she had said to him in the heat of the moment? Especially now that it seemed he didn’t hold any of that against her.

Mon-El and she had explored Europe, just like Kara had promised him they would after they meet with John Dalton. For twelve months they stayed together, learning new cultures, discovering new places, and finding nice company with each other. But Mon-El was a little more than she bargained for. He brought a sense of lightness wherever he went. Every town they explored, he would make new friends, and he would get attached. Sometimes they would spend a whole month in a town because Mon-El had gotten too invested. Every town he treated like his new home, he would go to people’s houses for dinners, go to the local tavern and make friends, and help around the town as if he planned to live there forever. And all of that annoyed her. No, it infuriated her.

They weren’t here to make connections. And every time Mon-El befriended someone, Kara was reminded of their immorality and the humans’ mortality. When time came to leave any specific town, Mon-El would become extremely unhappy, and he would talk at length with Kara about how much he would miss these people, and how he wished he could stay a little bit longer with. Kara got use to these monologues since she heard them every time they left a town or a city. Kara would hold back her tongue from saying anything bad. ‘Mon-El you wouldn’t be this upset if you didn’t try to make friends with every person you met.’ ‘This is your fault Mon-El. Stop getting attached.’ ‘Quit being so friendly and the pain would stop.’ But Kara kept all those thoughts to herself.

On the twelfth and last month they were together, they were exploring a coastal town in the Scottish Highlands. They had already spent two weeks there, and Mon-El had promised Kara that they would be there for only two weeks because she didn’t want to see another invested Mon-El be dejected. It was like he couldn’t learn from his mistakes. But at the end of the second week, Mon-El came requesting one more weeks stay in the coastal town because he wanted to help the townsfolk build a new school. And Kara lost it. All the pent up frustration, rage, and harsh words she kept bottled up for the last year spilled out.

 _‘I’m not here to help and make friends Mon-El, we are supposed to exploring’ ‘And I don’t want to console you again, it’s tiring.’ ‘Mon-El you wouldn’t be this upset if you didn’t try to make friends with every person you meet.’ ‘This is your fault Mon-El. Stop getting attached.’ ‘Quit being so friendly and the pain would stop.’ ‘We have a job to do Mon-El, and it is not helping build schools. I came to explore.’ ‘Stop acting like a lost puppy that finds a new owner in every town, and it’s eventually left outside with no home again. It’s pathetic to watch, and it’s pathetic that you keep doing that.’_ And she continued her onslaught at him, calling him pathetic, miserable, and more. And Mon-El silently listened. When Kara was finished he said one thing, just one thing that caused her anger to ignite again.

_‘Kara, I know why you are upset. But this isn’t like the Danvers. I am not that attached, I just want to spend time with these people a little bit longer, not establish a life with them just to lose them.’_

Mon-El hit a nerve that she thought she long buried. In hindsight, Kara knew he was trying to be rational and maybe if she let him continue his speech she would understand him his point better. But Kara wasn’t thinking straight and she choose to insult him even more.

_‘How dare you talk about the Danvers like that? They were my family!’ ‘You Daxamites are all the same. No emotions, just drugs and pleasure. No wonder you don’t care about all the friends you make, you have no emotions to care about them.’ ‘It’s probably just a charade you put on every time we live to make it seem like you care about these people, your new friends. But you actually don’t, do you?’ ‘I should have never agreed to come with you. I actually thought this could work. But Krypton and Daxam can never work together. Like. Like… like oil and water, too different to coexists.’_

Kara threw every insult at him, not stopping to think if she agreed with any the words she was spewing. She had only goal in the moment, inflict as much pain on him as she was feeling.

_‘Then leave Kara. No one is holding you back. If you don’t like all of this, then leave.’_

In retrospect, Kara understood why Mon-El had said that. He wanted her to stay, hoping that asking for her to leave might make her stay. Mon-El looked so disappointed, despondent, and the silent plea in his eyes was something Kara was blind to in that moment. She was too hot-heated to even think her actions through, let alone think about what Mon-El was going through as well.

_‘Fine. I’ll leave.’_

And literally, she turned around and left and never looked back.

Now they were standing face to face, and Kara was mortified that Mon-El was more willing to address the past and even share equal blame than she was. Kara felt remorseful, she had felt remorseful every day since she realized how inconsiderate, rude, vile and condescending she was to him. And now that she presented with an opportunity to be remedy her wrong, she wanted to flee than face it head on.

“Kara, I need you to know that I’m sorry,” Mon-El released his hold on her, and took a step back. He rubbed the back of his neck, while he thought about his next words very carefully, “We should of…I should have never mentioned the Danvers. I went too far. You were upset, and I should have calmed you down, instead I made the situation worse. Gods Kara! I asked you to leave,” Mon-El started pacing about the hallway, while Kara remained put, still shocked that this conversation was happening, “I asked you to leave! I was just so angry that you brought up Daxam and ... and I wasn’t thinking straight! You were upset and angry, and then I decided to be upset and angry as well. And look where that landed us, nowhere!” Mon-El threw his arms in the arm, trying to emphasize his point.

He stopped right in front her, expecting her to say something – anything. But Kara was still shell-shocked, words were jumbled in her brain, and she didn’t know how to tell him that it wasn’t his fault at all. She started it, and she ended it because she was being too rash and impulsive to actually think anything through. And here he was, taking the blame and Kara couldn’t get enough courage to tell him he wasn’t at fault.

“Kara,” he said expectantly, “please say something Kara. Please,” he begged. His eyes were watery. She knew what she had to say. It was the easiest and most simply thing to say. _I’m sorry._

Kara cleared her throat, “I’m –.”

“Major!” a voice boomed from the other side of the hallway. A man, dressed in similar army clothes as Mon-El ran over, “Major! There are rebels fighting our men at the southern border. If we lose the borderline we will not be able to cross over tomorrow morning to reach the rest of our men. We need your command at the forefront!”

Mon-El paused for a moment before jumping into action, “I’ll meet you at the border,” the young man ran away quickly. Mon-El turned to Kara, “I’m so sorry Kara. I have to go. I’m so so—.”

“Go Mon-El. I understand,” Kara smiled weakly, “Go, please. Your men need you,” she gently pushed him towards the exit, “please.”

“If I can come back, I will Kara. I promise,” Mon-El turned and held Kara’s hands, his grip was crushing, “I promise.”

Kara nodded her head in agreement. Holding back tears, what if he couldn’t come back? Would they had to wait another forty years to see each other again? Another forty years for her to simply apologize? Mon-El turned and sprinted down the hallway, and Kara watched him run until she could no longer see his shadow.

Kara leaned against the wall, her mind reeling in what just happened, or what could have just happened if Mon-El wasn’t called away. Her heart was racing. Everything could have been fixed. Everything could have been resolved. And know she had to hope that Mon-El would return so she can explain to him that he wasn’t wrong, it wasn’t his fault, and hope they can move past it. Oh Rao, please let him return.

Kara gathered herself from the wall, and made her way to the boarding home next door. Her shift was over, but she instructed the desk hostess to call her if Captain James needed anything.

Her boarding house room was composed of a bed, a small lounge chair, and a desk. Everything else was communal: the showers, the bathrooms, the kitchen, and the dining. The rent was low, and it was close to the hospital and Kara didn’t need much. She had no personal affects in the room, it was a bare as it was when she moved in.

After taking a swift hot shower she changed into her sleeping gown. Kara snuggled into her sheets, while hoping and praying to Rao that Mon-El would be able to visit her in the morning before he left to join whatever mission he had.

*******

Loud bangs echoed in Kara’s ears, jolting her up from her slumber. Her eyes slowly blinked open, chasing away her drowsiness with each blink. She glanced at her at the single window in her bedroom to see if was the morning, but she was greeted by darkness. It was still nighttime. She heard the bang from her door again, and she jumped up into a sitting position on her bed, sleep long gone. If anyone was knocking at her door this late at night, it meant that one of her patients needed her help. Her mind automatically flashed to Captain James. When she visited him to administer his medication he did seem awfully calm about losing his right leg. Maybe the gravity of the situation finally bore on him. Honestly, Kara was expecting a meltdown, and it just might be happening later rather than sooner.

The banging on her door got louder, causing Kara to scurry off her bed, and a light the candle besides her bed. She hastily ran to the door, her path now illuminated by the candle. She unlocked and swiftly opened the door, expecting to be greeted by another nurse, or an errand boy, or even the desk hostess from the hospital asking her to come help out with her patient. But Kara let out an audible gasp at who she discovered was at her door. _Mon-El._

He looked so pale, the color draining from his face. His hair was matted against his forehead, as if he was sweating to fight off a cold. It was the beginning of autumn, the weather was too cool to allow him to be sweating profusely. He was hunched over, leaning against the door frame for support, his head downcast and his hand raised up in a fist, as if Kara opened the door in the middle of knock. Kara wasn’t quite sure what do to, or what had happened.

His Daxam physiology didn’t allow him to get sick, just as her Kryptonian physiology didn’t allow her. But seeing Mon-El as white as a sheet, sweating, and so weak frightened her. What could possibly do this to him?

Mon-El dropped his raised fist to his stomach, and gingerly raised his head to look at her. His face was so pale, his lips so dry, and his eyes heavy, “Help,” he mumbled before he staggered forward, completely losing his balance.

Kara caught him in an embrace. His entire weight fell on her, but she managed to hold him up.

“Mon-El. Mon-El!” she screamed, as his head lulled back and forth, “What happened? Mon-El, tell me what happened,” her voice rising as she started to panic.

“Kara, bullet,” he whispered. If it wasn’t for her super-hearing, she knew she wouldn’t have been able to hear him. He removed his arm from his mid-section to reveal a bloodied hand, “hurts.”

A thousand thoughts ran through Kara’s head. But one thought was the loudest. _HELP HIM._

“Okay. Okay. It’s okay. It’s all going to be okay. Mon-El, look at me,” Kara repeated. Trying to convince herself more than Mon-El. But Mon-El’s head remained tucked in the crook of her neck, “Mon-El, I’m going to fix you up. Okay. I’m going to take care of you,” she kicked the door shut, and walked back to her bed.

She lifted him up, and gently spread him across the bed, and sat beside him. His eyes were closed, and Kara gently swept away his matted hair so she can get a better look at him. Kara choked back a sob and brushed her thumb across his cheek, “Mon-El open your eyes. Come on, please. Wake up for me,” but his eyes refused to open.

She looked down at his stomach, where she assumed where the injury occurred. _Obviously_ , Kara thought. There was a giant red stain on the white shirt across his mid-section. Kara tried to calm down her heart so she could focus. If she was going to help, she needed to be level-headed.

Kara ripped the shirt apart to see his wound. His entire lower half was bloody, and Kara couldn’t tell where it was all coming from. She grabbed a cloth from besides her bed and started wiping away the blood. She just needed to know where to start working, she needed to find the source. Although Kara knew she had to be calm, she could feel the hot tears pouring down her cheeks. She continued to clean the blood up through her bleary eyes. But it wasn’t helping. She couldn’t see anything beyond a now bloody rag and the tears in her eyes.

“This isn’t going to work. I need water, and…and tools,” Kara tossed the bloody rag away. She leaned up towards Mon-El and whispered to him as if he could hear her, “I’m going to come right back okay,” she cupped his cheeks, “I just need to get the right tools to fix you up,” she chortled out, she felt the heaviness in her throat as she tried to keep her tears at bay and her voice leveled. If he could actually hear her, she didn’t want to frighten him with a panicked voice.

Kara became a blur as she used her enhanced speed to get all the tools and equipment she needed to help him. Rules be damned, Mon-El was dying and she didn’t care if anyone saw her using her inhuman sped. First thing Kara got was a basin filled with clean water and some extra clothes. She then super-sped into the hospital, hoping no one would notice her in the dead of night, and took some forceps and a suture kit. Mon-El said bullet, right?

Kara stalled before the medicine cabinet. Would human medication even work on him? Does it even matter? Someone who is supposed to be invincible is currently lying unconscious on her bed due to a bullet wound, all the rules were breakable now. Kara grabbed some pain medication and sped back to her boarding home room.

Mon-El was so still on her bed, that if she hadn’t noticed the inconsistent rise and fall of his chest, Kara would think he was dead.

She tried to relax herself, inhaling and exhaling until her heartbeat was steady. Wetting the new clothes in the basin, she began cleaning up the dried up blood, and struggled to find the bullet hole. The basin of water turned red as she continued to wring out the blood.

When she finally cleaned up a patch of blood she saw strange cracked lines of silver on Mon-El’s skin. Dumbfounded, Kara tried to wipe away the silver lines, but they remained on his flesh. Kara wiped again, clearing up more blood, and noticed more lines of silvers. Although she was thoroughly confused, she just kept cleaning. She didn’t have time to think about them right now. Maybe it was just a Daxamite thing?

It felt like forever until she finally located the source, or sources. She saw two gaping holes about five inches from each other on the lower right quadrant of his mid-section. With most of the blood removed Kara finally saw the full picture. The silver lines were literally coming out of the wounds in a spider-web like fashion. They looked like they were slowly spreading across his whole body, some had already reached his back.

Poison. That’s all Kara could think of. Poison. Someone poisoned him, meaning there was something on this planet that he, if not her as well, was not immune to.

Kara skimmed her fingers across his flesh, tracing the silver lines. The largest and thickest one creeped up all the way to his chest. It was nearing his heart, and Kara didn’t want to think what would happen when it finally reached it. She quickly rubbed anti-septic on both of the bullet holes and grabbed the forceps.

“This is going to hurt Mon-El. Please stay unconscious,” Kara pleaded to his sleeping form. She wiped the tears that was trickling down her cheek and dug the forceps into his wound to get the bullet out. As soon as she started adding pressure, Mon-El jolted up.

“ARRGG,” his scream filling up the entire room. He began to pant and his body pushed itself into an upright position causing Kara to dig into his wound accidentally.

“Mon-El, please sit back down. I need you to sit back down.”

“It hurts,” he mumbled through his clenched teeth.

“I know it does, but I can’t see your wound if you are in this position,” Kara rubbed his back and tugged him back on to the bed. Mon-El hissed at the movements but Kara could tell he was holding back on his pain.

She sat on the bed, with her knees against the mattress and one hand holding the forceps and the other pinning Mon-El’s body down, just in case the pain was too much for him. She returned to her ministrations, and Mon-El squirmed while she dug for the bullet, but he remained quiet during the entire ordeal. Kara would occasionally look at him to see that his jawline was tight and clenched, like he was swallowing every scream that generated in him. After Kara removed the first bullet, she started rubbing circles on his arms, hoping it would soothe him.

“I got one out, but there is one more bullet left. I’m going to do it again,” Kara told him to brace himself. Mon-El gripped Kara’s free hand, and nodded quietly, fearing that opening his mouth would cause all the pent up screams to be released. Kara thought the position was awkward, but if holding her hand calmed him down then he was going to hold her hand. Kara began digging around for the second bullet, and she could feel Mon-El’s grip on her hand tighten every time it hurt, or when she ventured too far.

“Almost got it,” she could feel the bullet touching the forceps. When she got the last bullet out, she sighed and felt the tension roll off her shoulders. The imminent threat was dealt with, “I got it Mon-El. You can open your eyes.”

Mon-El slowly opened his eyes, and was greeted with smiling Kara. Although her tear stained cheeks told a different story.

“Thank you,” he finally spoke.

“I’m just going to stitch you up, mhmm. It shouldn’t hurt as much. The worst part is over.”

“Okay.”

“I’m going to need both of my hands Mon-El,” Kara chuckled.

Mon-El looked down at their entwined hands, “Right. Sorry,” he reluctantly removed his hand.

“You can have my hand back after I stitch you up, Mon-El,” she teased him, and he actually laughed. That was a small victory in this horrible night.

Kara stitched up both of his wounds and dressed it was some gauze while Mon-El watched her.

“Mon-El. Uhmm… I don’t know how to say this. But I think you might have been poisoned.”

“Poisoned? On Earth. I don’t think that’s possible –.”

“Well I didn’t think we could be mortally wounded on Earth by anything because of the yellow sun, and here I am stitching up your bullet holes. So impossible is out the window,” she finished up her last stitch, “and look at this. These strange silver lines that are coming out your wounds. It is like the poison is spreading, and all I can hope for is that lines begin to recede and you can heal.”

“If Rao wishes, then it will be.”

“If Rao wishes…,” Kara echoed his thought.

After finishing, Kara shuffled across her room, getting Mon-El a glass of water, and cleaning up any residual blood that was on her and him. To think, she was worried about the blood of a stranger on her hand today, and now her hands rang red with the blood of her closest friend.

She sat on the bed, and watched his wounds like a hawk, tracing the silver lines to memorize them so when they began to recede she would know. Mon-El and she welcomed the silence like an old friend. He once again held Kara’s hand, refusing to let go it, and Kara didn’t want him to either. He was rubbing his thumb across her hand and it was reminder to her that he was still alive. He was still alive.

As time passed, the lines didn’t recede and Kara began to worry, “Mon-El, the lines. They aren’t going away.”

“Kara—.”

“No, Mon-El don’t try to calm me down. They aren’t going away and don’t act like it doesn’t hurt every time you breathe. I have been looking at your chest this entire time to make sure it doesn’t get to your heart –“

“So you like looking at my chest,” Mon-El smirked.

“Mon-El be serious!” Kara practically yelled, “What if the lines don’t go away? Huh? What then? What if kills you? Are you going to be joking when that happens as well?” her pitch increasing with every question.

“Kara,” he tried to soothe her, “whatever happens, happens. I can’t control fate any more than you can. I just hope that I can get better, the rest isn’t up to me.”

“How are you leaving it to fate!? I didn’t think you were one to believe in such a thing.”

“Well, fate brought me to you, over and over again. I can’t look at our history and not believe that these coincidences aren’t correlated, Kara.”

“Why are you acting like this? YOU COULD DIE! Do you realize that? Die! Death! Cease to exist!” Kara shrieked, tears flowing nonstop, “All because of two bullets! Rao only knows what was in them to make,” she points at his chest, “all of this happen. You just had to join the war, didn’t you? Had to be a hero. And look at this, look at you now. Basically on your deathbed trying to make a joke as if this is another Friday morning. Were satisfied Major?” she sneered, “Your rank, your title, and whatever else you accomplished for you to only die for it! Huh, was it worth?”

Kara couldn’t even see Mon-El, the tears clouding her eyes. She tried to blink them away but they wouldn’t stop coming. She was seething in anger, her blood boiling, but despite the rage she felt defeated and sad.

“Kara, you don’t understand,” Mon-El tried to explain, “I am just –.”

“Don’t understand! I don’t understand what? That you are dying? That you are somehow okay with it? That you are going to leave me alone on the wretched planet? What am I not understanding? For Rao’s sake, why did you even join the Union? Daxam had slaves, why are you fighting to free them anyway—”

Kara clamped her mouth shut, she knew she just went too far. Eyes bulged out, looking for Mon-El’s reaction. Last time she brought up Daxam to insult him, they left on horrible terms and hadn’t seen each other for over four decades. Hell, they haven’t even properly moved on and forgave each other for that, and Kara was opening up new wounds when the old ones hadn’t even been dealt with yet.

Kara waited for him to yell at her, for him to accuse her, to lash out, but he didn’t. He beckoned her closer to him, and patted the open space next to him, asking her to lay down. Kara, still fearful that she went too far, would do anything he asked if it would appease him. She laid down next to him, and his arm wrapped around her and she leaned in towards him. She could smell blood, metal and his musk on him. He was rubbing small circles on her waist and Kara looked up at him to see that his eyes were lost in deep thought.

“Kara, there are thousands of men losing their lives, fighting for this cause. What makes my life more precious, what makes my life more important than theirs? Huh? We are all fighting for the same thing, for the same goal: freedom. If I don't lay my life down for this, then what's the point of living? You know, on Krypton and even Daxam, we might like to think we are better or more evolved. Better because we have freedom and choice but the truth is we don't, it’s just an illusion. I was born to be an explorer, quite literally born to be one. I had no choice, I was set down this path the moment I took seed in the birthing matrix, and I assume it was the same for you Kara.

We might be bound by different shackles, but they are shackles nonetheless. Growing up on Daxam, I would always had a desire to try new things, to adventure into new subjects. Perhaps that was the explorer in me. But every time I wanted to learn something different, something even as miniscule as learning how to cook, I was beaten until that ‘misconception’ left my mind. Just because I was born on Daxam doesn’t mean I agreed to everything that happened there. I finally have a chance to make it right, a chance to try and make a difference. Maybe this a penance for living like I did on Daxam, being aware of the atrocities but being a coward and complacent. If I can do anything to help free those kept in this…this archaic practice, I will. And if I lose my life in the process, it was a sacrifice worth making.”

Mon-El looked down at Kara, lifting her chin so she was facing him, “Right Kara?”

“No. I don’t want you to be right,” Kara said feebly, and turned her head away, “And I don’t want to agree with you.”

“Kara, I know it’s hard to understand, but in your heart you know it’s true.”

Of course she agreed with what he said. Fighting the good fight to help those who couldn’t help themselves. How could she want him turn away from that? Was she just too selfish and wished strangers would die rather than someone she cared for? Was that selfish, or just human nature? But Kara didn’t want to think about that right now, he was on his deathbed, and she didn’t want to argue the ideals of world’s old and new, she wanted to talk to him, say thing she wished to tell him one day.

“True or not, if you are really dying I don’t want to spend the last couple hours talking about philosophies. I need you to hear this – I’m sorry.”

Mon-El looked puzzled, “Sorry? For what?”

Kara bit her lip, “For saying all those things in Scotland. Calling you an emotionless coward, and insulting your race and leaving you alone. It wasn’t your fault Mon-El. I was just being rash and hotheaded. I wasn’t thinking. We could have settled it like adults, we are almost 150 years old and I behaved like a child throwing a tantrum. We needed to communicate, and I was having a one-sided fit. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left it like that,” Kara gripped the edge of his torn shirt, “I came back after a week, after I cooled off. I realized how horrible I had acted and I needed to apologize, but you were already gone. And the longer I held onto this apology the more scared I became that you wouldn’t forgive so what was the point in even trying. But I was wrong, I didn’t give you enough credit.”

“I accept your apologize Kara. I never held anything against you. I never would. We both were being childish, but it’s time to move on now. Especially since I might not have any time left.”

“MON-EL!” she bellowed and raised herself on her elbows to look at him. She glared at him, but he was right. The silver lines were still present all over his torso.

“I’m was only joking Kara. I’m sorry,” he raised his free hand in a mock surrender, “It looks like we are both apologizing. Could you please come lay down again, it’s suddenly really cold without you.”

Reluctantly, she laid back down into his embrace, and Mon-El returned to his ministrations of rubbing small circles on her waist, like the movements soothed him.

“If we are apologizing, I want to apologize for marooning us on this planet –”

“Kara, no –”

“Mon-El, please let me finish. We both know it was my fault that our ships collided. I lost control, I was too curious, and now we are exiled on this planet for another three hundred years. I never took responsibility for my actions, and I need to do that now. I need you to know, it was my fault and I am sorry, and I should have said that a long time ago but I couldn’t face the truth.”

Mon-El remained silent, and Kara watched his chest rise and fall, “Kara, it is okay –”

“No. I don’t need you to say anything. I don’t need you too console me, or make me feel better. I just needed you to hear me say the truth, take responsibility for what happened that day. And I needed you to hear me apologize. Okay. Nothing more…please.”

Kara wasn’t looking at him, but she could feel him nod his head in agreement to her wish. Her fingers began to trace the silver lines, wishing that they would begin to disappear but alas they remained the same. Mon-El was close to falling asleep, when Kara felt his breath hitch, and he started to cough. Kara jumped, and grabbed a water glass and helped Mon-El drink it. The coughing fit died down a little after he drank the water, but Kara could see he was trying to hold the coughs back to make it seem like he was feeling better. He was getting worse, and Kara couldn’t do anything about. Once again, she felt helpless.

“I can’t lose you,” Kara murmured, “I can’t. I just got you back, I can’t lose you again.”

“Kara,” he cupped her cheeks, “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere,” he smiled.

Kara grabbed the wrist of the hand that was at her cheek, and leaned into his palm, “Even when weren’t with me, knowing you are out there, somewhere on Earth would ease my thoughts. I don’t think I can live on this planet knowing you aren’t here. Knowing that I might never see you again,” she cried into his hand.

Mon-El leaned forward connecting their foreheads, “Kara, I’m not going anywhere. I am right here,” he pulled her closer so she flush against him, “see? I would never leave Kara, I wouldn’t dream of it.”

Kara didn’t know if it was their emotions, or the life or death situation, or that their bodies were so close to each other, but she felt warmth radiating off of him, and she drew herself to his body heat. His hand moved and entangled into her hair and pulled her closer so their noses brushed against each other. Her skin was tingling all over, and her heart was racing. As soon as he wiped away her tear, temptation took control and she captured his lips. She half expected him to turn away, but instead he added a little more pressure, and she could taste her salt tears on his supple lips. It only lasted for a second, and they lingered just a little when they parted. It was chaste kiss, and they parted feeling content with each other, not desiring anything else or anything more. Kara placed a promise in that kiss, a promise that he had to get better.

Silence engulfed them as neither one said anything else to each other. And why would they need to? All that needed to said was spoken in that kiss. She wished for his full recovery, and he wished for more time with her.

They just snuggled back onto the bed, with Kara in his embrace, and her head on his shoulder and his arm around her waist. Kara watched his shallow breathes turn into long ones indicating that he was sleeping once again. Kara held a watchful eye on the silver lines on this torso, until sleep came for as well.

********

Kara woke up as the sun’s ray penetrated her room. It must have been dawn. She outstretched her arm and felt an empty space next to her. Where was he? She was the only one in the entire room. Baffled about where he could be she quickly changed into a less bloodied gown, and was ready to burst the door open, and set off on a mission to find him but was stopped in her tracks when she noticed a piece of paper nailed onto the door.

“This has to be Mon-El,” Kara whispered to herself.

_Kara,_

_I’m sorry that I left before you awoke, but I am part of the Union, and a leader to my men and we had orders to move before dawn and so we must. So yes Kara, I am alive and well, and those silver lines are no longer on my body, so you mustn’t worry. I told you I would never leave you. Now I can only hope we meet again soon, and if fate continues to spin the same tale we will meet soon, I believe._

_Your Daxamite,_

_Mon-El_

Kara clutched the paper to her chest. He was alive. _He was alive._ She thanked Rao a thousand times for sparing his life. He was alive…but he was gone. Gone to the same place that caused him this injury, to the same place that had bullets that could actually hurt him. Mon-El said in the letter that he hoped they would meet again soon, and Kara prayed that no bullet would harm him again and indeed they would meet again soon.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I initially outlined this chapter, the kiss wasn't suppose to be so close the show deathbed kiss. It kinda just happened and I really hate that it did. The kiss is different, in respect that Kara initiates its, and the feelings behind the kiss are different because they dont quite know why... but the situation was similar, and I didn't think it through when i outlined it. 
> 
> Also, I took some liberties as too how Mon-El reacts to lead, because it seemed more dramatic to see the poison spreading, and Kara would actually know that something else was affecting him....
> 
> But I hope you liked it! My longest chapter -- 8000 WORDS OMG! Comments/Reviews/Kudos appreciated :))


	5. Year 1902

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @juliakaze, as always for making the aesthetics for each chapter
> 
> *NOTE NOTE NOTE PLEASE READ NOTE* i personally feel that this is the worst, sub-par chapter i have written in this entire story, it pales in comparison to what the next three chapters have in store. So sorry in advance, I really am. the idea sounded infinitely better in my head and when i started to write it out, it fell apart. pwettypwita is witness to how much i revamped the story to make it better, but i still believe i fell shy of the mark. So lower your expectations, and Chapter Six onwards is going to be a hella roller coaster ride! but Chapter 5 is just eh? <3

**YEAR 1902**

**LOCATION: GREECE**

****

 

Kara giggled as the ballroom before her spun across her eyes, she was getting a little dizzy but the burst of laughter kept pouring out. She saw other couples staring at her as she was spun around. Most of the stares were made up of smiles, finding humor in her antics or just being happy for her, while others looked disgusted and grimaced as they saw her act like a ‘peasant’. However, Kara couldn’t care less, she was happy and the social norms be damned. Living through 150 years of different societal expectation had made her numb, she wasn’t going to conform anymore, and it was time for Earthlings to catch up.

“Barry,” Kara giggled, “as much as I love doing this, I am getting a little dizzy!”

Barry smiled, “Sorry, Kara,” he stopped twirling her in the middle of the ballroom, and settled his hand on her waist while the other gripped her other hand in mid-air. They assumed the normal dancing position, and swayed and boxed their movements slightly off key with the song. The official, more formal dance of the evening had not yet commenced, and they were merely just fooling around on the empty ballroom floor. Well, not completely empty, there were other couples, younger couples, swaying to the music as well.

“Is your Father watching us?” Kara questioned him, trying to gauge whether the old brute was looking down at them from his lofty preach on the second floor, but she didn’t want to draw suspicion on them. Barry’s father was already doubtful of her relationship with his son, and she definitely didn’t want to add more fuel to the fire by looking directly at the man. It was bad enough that he often stared at Kara with contempt, but consciously staring the man down would further increase his distaste for her.

“Let me see,” Barry started moving in rhythm with the music so he was now positioned to look at his father. Barry could stare all he wanted at his Father, and that wouldn’t draw in too much suspicion, hopefully, “Yes, Father is looking directly at us. He still doesn’t believe that we are together,” he sighed.

“Kiss my cheek,” Kara said bluntly.

“What?”

“Kiss my cheek,” she repeated, “I’m going to lean in and you are going to accidentally kiss my cheek, and then kiss it again like you meant to do it, okay?”

“Kara, I can’t do that. The others –.”

“The others be damned! We need to send a message to your Father, and he is looking directly at us. We can’t miss this opportunity. So you are going to kiss me dammit,” Barry’s eyes bulged as he heard Kara curse. It wasn’t the first time he heard her use foul language, but in public, and in public where anyone can tell his Father, he didn’t expect that. Kara meant business, and he was going to have to kiss.

Kara giggled, and playfully pushed him. Barry joined in and laughed while he pulled himself towards her and she leaned in and he placed an ‘accidental’ kiss on her cheek, and then another more lingering one, as their bodies were pushed flush against one another. Kara pretended to blush, and tried to look embarrassed, like an innocent maiden whose virtue had just been stolen.

“I think it might have worked,” Barry murmured in her ear. He once again swayed them so Kara was now facing his Father.

Kara quickly glanced up at his perch and saw him huff and turn away, like he was swallowing a bitter pill. Kara knew they weren’t even remotely close to convincing Barry’s father of their romantic relationship, but this was definitely a step in the right direction.

The deep baritone harmony began to slow down, and the airy music of the flutes and strings began playing over the other instruments. Barry and Kara only swayed now, and didn’t even attempt the formal dance of perfect boxed movements. As the music flowed through her, Kara pondered about how she even ended up in this position. Dancing about the middle of enormous ballroom, with all the elites of society looking at her and silently judging her every move. This was a situation Kara would have never thought herself to ever be in when she landed in this country.

Kara had decided to go to Greece, thinking she needed a change of scenery after living in war infested American for too long. And her choice of escape was influenced by her sudden interest in Greek mythology. Kara had long given up being an explorer, what was the point? If she was to ever return to her home planet, she wouldn’t recognize it. She couldn’t even begin to comprehend the changes that would have occurred on Krypton in all this time. What hold did Krypton even have on her anymore? A loyalty that had slowly began to dissipate every year she stayed on Earth. There were times when Kara questioned whether she ever wanted to return. The reasons why she would have returned were gone. No one she cared about, no one she loved was alive anymore. Over the past century, Earth had somewhat become her home, willingly or not.

Exploration was the last thing on her mind. Maybe she could send them a message to let them know she was alive, but besides that, she no longer coveted to get off this planet as soon as possible. No longer did she want to learn about different cultures, peoples, and lifestyles to expand Krypton’s database but rather she wanted to quench her own desire for knowledge. And the desire for knowledge had to lead her here. She wanted to see the Greek Parthenon, Acropolis, the temple of Zeus, Athena, Apollo and Hephaestus and much more. Greece was just the first stop on her list, and by some weird twist of fate she had gotten trapped into the lives of people who inhabited this small country.

Bartholomew Allen was the son of one the richest men in Greece, but when she had meet him, he was just an unofficial tour guide she didn’t ask for. She first meet him at the Acropolis in Athens, were he was quite literally giving out free tour guides to random people who walked in and out of the main city square, not caring whether they were actually interested or not. Kara was his latest victim, and he was chewing her ear off with a quick history lesson about Acropolis. At first, Kara was irritated by his motor mouth, and inability to take a hint, but when she stopped and actually listened to him she learned that he was spewing interesting and helpful information. Kara enlisted him as her official tour guide, asking if he wanted to explore Greece with her, and he happily obliged saying he was already going to visit some major historical sites for his university classes already. It was an unlikely comradery that turned into a pleasant friendship.

On the last day of their sightseeing trip, Barry and Kara had visited a local bar and wished to celebrate their newfound friendship together by getting drunk. Unbeknownst to Barry, Kara was unable to get drunk, but she played the part well and downed drink after drink just like Barry did. The night carried on, and they reminisced over their favorite memories, reliving the past in merriment rather than being sad they were going to leave each other. The night was filled with tales, of how Barry was yelled at for touching artifacts in the Greek Parthenon, or how Kara had accidentally fell over board when they sailed to the Island of Delos.

With each story, Barry proceeded to get more and more drunk. It was quite a sight to behold, as Kara had never seen Barry slurs his words, his eyes were bleary and hazy, and he couldn’t properly sit on his stool, and periodically would slip down, and one time even fell on the floor.

The night was coming to a close when Barry spilled his guts in his inebriated cloud. He had meet a girl in his university that he was hopelessly in love with, and wished to one day marry her. But his stooge of a Father wouldn’t allow it, claiming that she would bring dishonor to the Allen family name. So he had been forced to break apart from her, but he had been secretly been staying in contact. The more he ranted, the more ideas sprung in his head. Like he wished he could shove his father down a well, or that he wanted to elope, or even thought he could portal jump into another universe and marry her. But then he settled upon a whole new idea, bring a girl that seemed to be perfect, but then she would slowly turn out to be a horrible person who would be disgrace to their family and his Father would see that wealth and stature didn’t mean anything.  

Kara was enthralled by his love story, and although Barry was making plans in his intoxicated state, Kara was still rational enough to see their merits.

The following morning, Kara told Barry of the plan, saying that she was going to be that girl, the girl who seemed flawless and perfect, but with each passing day would become more rude and spiteful and tarnish their family name. And when his Father saw how horrible she was, he _might_ agree to Barry’s love choice. The plan was a long shot, but he had not options left: either marry the girl of his Father’s choosing, or hope that this scheme would work.

When she arrived at the mansion like home, she was in awe. Everything, and quite literally everything was made out of marble and lined with gold. Massive pillars, like the ones present in every famous Greek structure, stood tall and proud in the house. A beautiful chandelier was in the grand ball room that reminded her of the one she saw in the Mayor’s home in Philadelphia, and she enraptured by the beauty of the chandelier and the sweet memories that resurfaced when she saw it. The ballroom had a high domed ceiling, where it once again lined with gold and had beautiful paintings intertwined in the marble. But quickly the mansion lost its wonder when she was introduced to its owner. Henry Allen was a hotheaded, senile, rude, and overall ass. He would constantly make belligerent comments at Barry, and even insult him in front of servants, and family without remorse. Barry was too docile and complacent to even respond to the hateful speech his Father spewed at him.

But seeing Kara and Barry together? That made him somewhat happy, he rejoiced that Barry had found himself a ‘suitable match’. Their plan had started without a hitch. With each passing day Kara said more passive-aggressive things, make snide comments, and acted brash, but Henry Allen seemed unfazed by it, like he could see through the entire façade. At the end of month, Henry Allen had announced Barry and Kara’s engagement and their wedding date was planned. The plan had blown up in their faces, completely. They scrambled to make a new one: get married and then Kara would run away, and then who would marry a divorced man? It was definitely worse than their previous idea, but this was all they had left. Kara knew that if she left before the wedding, Henry Allen would have a replacement bride in seconds, but if she left after – well, then the story would be completely different. If she left after, then his true lady love, who he would not name despite Kara’s persistent so she could have deniability, could swoop in and marry him. Who would marry a divorced man, right?

But just as Barry’s father was able to see behind Kara’s charade of being uncharacteristically rude, he was being to pick up on the lack of love Barry and Kara exhibited, therefore forcing them to play up their fake romance.

Once the sham was over, she wouldn’t feel sorrowful that she had left her new friends and family behind. Rather, she was going to rejoice and remember the good memories she shared with them, just like Mon-El did. _Just like Mon-El did…_ it might have taken her a while to fathom how delightful it was making connections, and having attachments. Sometimes it is better to have someone for a little a while, than no one at all, and Mon-El had taught her that.

The music faded away, and more people moved onto the ballroom floor and paired themselves off. The gala was officially starting, and the formal dance kicked off the evening. All the couples that paired off where now standing a foot away from each, eagerly waiting for a melody to flow into the ballroom to signal that the official dance was commencing.  

Kara released herself from Barry and took a step back, and they stood in the same position as all the couples, and smiled at each other. A steady beat started, and Kara curtsied and Barry bowed before he outstretched his arm, his palm facing up. Kara gingerly placed her hand in his, and he leaned down to kiss it. She noticed many ladies around her blush at that gesture, but Barry didn’t invoke the same feelings that they would warrant her cheeks turning red. She fondly remembered another similar kiss on her hand that she now longed for. At that time she was foolish to snap her hand back, perplexed by the situation before her, but now she wished she would have let him kiss her hand, perhaps his lips would have lingered on her skin, and that would have made the memory a little sweeter.

“How gentlemen of you Barry,” Kara mused as she moved back into his embrace, “your Father would be so proud,” she teased.

“Nothing could ever make him proud,” Barry replied. His eyes downcast. Kara only meant to tease him, and not upset him.

“Sorry Barry. Forget I mentioned him. Just concentrate on not stepping on my toes, please,” Barry laughed. They had spent the last week practicing since Kara had no idea how perform this dance. Fortunately, Barry was just as bad as a dancer as Kara was and stepped on her toes frequently but thankfully, Kara was invincible and it ended up hurting Barry more than her sometimes.

“I shall try my best. I cannot guarantee it Kara.”

Barry pulled her out into a twirl, and she was passed onto the next individual on the ballroom floor. Barry was now dancing with a brunette, and she was dancing with a very old man. He had smirk on his face and Kara knew disgusting thoughts were going through his head. His leery mustache and ghastly stare made her feel uncomfortable. Kara tried to keep more distance between them, but his arms pulled her closer. Despite Kara being stronger, she couldn’t show him her strength without drawing attention.

“You are a beauty,” the old man sneered. Kara turned her head away as he started to lean in closer. _This filthy pig_ , Kara thought. His hand at her waist began to wander a little lower, and Kara snapped her head back. It finally neared her rear, and she gasped while he grinned when he roughly grabbed it. _I’ll show this pig._ She fluttered her eyes at him, and gave him a sultry smile as she leaned in. Momentarily in shock that Kara was actually reciprocating his advances he stopped moving. Kara took that moment and stomped on his toes adding some strength that was granted to her by the yellow sun on that stomp. He let out a shrill shriek and crouched over in pain. At the same time, all the couples were switching partners again and Kara just scurried off to the next person in line while she watched the disgusting old man limp off the ballroom floor.

Laughter ebbed out of her and she barely registered the person she was now dancing with.

“The man had it coming Kara,” all her muscles froze. A melodic voice drowning all of her senses. Kara looked up to see a pair of beautiful steel-gray eyes looking at her.

He is alive. He is alive. _He is alive._

No other thought was passing through her mind. He was alive and he was in front of her. He was smiling down at her as he moved both of their bodies to the flow of song because Kara had seemingly lost all control of hers.

What should she say? She wanted to call him out for being a reckless idiot and endangering his life again. But she also wanted to hug him in a bone crushing hug until she had her fill. She wanted laugh, she wanted cry, and she wanted to yell. Despite desiring wanting to do so much, she was in too much shock and disbelief to give her body any commands to do so.

“Oh Kara,” he laughed and then he twirled her away. Before she could register what happened she was in the arms of another man. She allowed herself to be pushed and pulled by him, but her gaze remained on Mon-El. He was alive. He in front her. He was talking to her. And she didn’t say anything. She didn’t do anything. She watched him dance with a brunette haired girl, and saw both of them laugh and her blush. A strange feeling sparked in Kara. The fact that she was blushing at him, probably because he said something funny, and that she was rubbing her hands down his arm infuriated her. How dare she? But before her emotions fueled her to do something reckless, she once again changed partners and so did he.

Like before, she just went through the motions of the dance, and didn’t even reply to the small talk some of the men tried to initiate with her. Her eyes were on one person, and one person only. As she made her way across the ballroom floor with different partners, her eyes never wavered from. Kara knew, that he knew she was looking at him, but he wouldn’t even glance at her. He just continued to sweet talk the ladies and kept ignoring her. _How dare he?_

The dance was taking forever to complete, and was testing Kara’s patience. An impulsive need ignited in her, she just wanted to waltz off the ballroom floor and drag Mon-El with her, but when saw that she was one more partner change away from Barry, she quelled that desire. As soon as the dance would end she planned on talking to Mon-El and probably hit him for acting like a fool. The man she was dancing with twirled her into Barry’s arms, and she was greeted with a very cheery Barry. More happy than she had left him. Normally, Kara would question the sudden change, but right now her mind was preoccupied with something – someone – more important.

The music began to fade away and all the couple stepped away from each, and the ballroom was filled with a thunderous applause. Others began to flood the ballroom floor and praised the couples that were dancing. The crowd limited Kara’s vision, and now she couldn’t find him. Her eyes were trained on him this entire time, and now it seemed like he vanished.

“Barry, I’ll back in a moment,” Kara hastily said as her eyes scoured for his familiar face. She didn’t wait for him to respond knowing that he would probably protest her leaving because his Father would not like them being separated at the gala. They had an image to uphold, but Kara didn’t have time for this farce right now.

She weaved herself among the crowd, growing more irked and frustrated the longer it took to find him. She had seen him, right? This wasn’t a dream. Oh Rao, she had dreamt of seeing him before, but this time it felt different. This time it felt tangible. He was there, and she was sure of it. She had felt his hands on her waist, she had heard his voice in her ear, and she had felt her heart flutter at his laughter. _He was here and she had seen him_ , she kept repeating to herself.

But every second that passed the more she believed that it was a dream, an illusion her mind conjured up to lull her into a false security and then swiftly pull it away from her grasp. But she desperately wanted to prove her mind wrong, and her heart right. She had felt her heart pulse in joy at seeing him, and it continued to beat rapidly in hopes of seeing him again. But why couldn’t she find him. Where was he? And why wouldn’t he come after her after the dance was finished? She slowly made her way to the edge of the ballroom, hoping to get a better vantage and scan the crowd.

“Looking for me,” he whispered in her ear. Kara could practically feel his breath on her neck, and she felt herself getting lightheaded, his hot breath and voice was intoxicating.

She turned to see him grinning like a buffoon, and glazed with happiness, “Found me yet?” he smirked.

“Mon-El,” she murmured. The disbelief that was settling in before was fading. She timidly outstretched her arm to him, and placed it over his chest. Flesh. Hard, real, and tangible flesh. She began to giggle like she was tipsy, “You’re real.”

He chuckled, “Last time I checked,” he placed his hand over the one she held to his chest and gripped it tight, “and you’re real as well.”

“Last time I checked,” she repeated.

Silence fell over them. All the things she wanted to ask him were forgotten. All the questions, all the emotions she felt dissipated. Just looking at him, taking him in was enough. They stood there, with her hand on his chest, and his hand over hers, drinking in each other in. If anyone caught them, all hell would break loose.

“Kara!”

They jumped apart, “Kara, I found you. Father was looking for you,” Barry approached them both.

“Where did you go off to?” Barry asked. He finally saw Mon-El, “Oh, hello. I’m Bartholomew Allen.”

“Michael Matth –.” Mon-El couldn’t continue when he saw Barry wrap his arm around Kara’s waist and tug her closer. He glared at his hand, a look of shock adorned him. He snapped his face to Kara’s, and it looked like he wanted to ask a million questions but the environment wasn’t right for that, “Right. Sorry, um. Michael Matthews,” he stuttered out. Barry outstretched his other arm, and Mon-El reluctantly shook it.

Kara wanted to tell Mon-El the truth. This meant nothing, it was a façade, a charade, a game. But it wasn’t her secret to tell. But if he would just look at her, she hoped she could silently communicate to him that this wasn’t real, and that there was more behind this, but he kept avoiding her eyes.

“Michael,” a feminine voice called out.

The voice belonged to a beautiful woman and she came to stop beside Mon-El and handed him a glass of wine and kept one for herself. She stared at Barry and Kara, although her gaze lingered more on Barry. However, Kara wasn’t jealous. Barry wasn’t even hers to begin with.

“Sorry, right. This is Iris West,” he pointed at her, “My lovely partner for the evening.”

This time it was Kara’s turn to be stunned. _Partner._ With Barry it was all fake, but Mon-El actually had a partner. And he looked envious when Barry had pulled her close. Hypocrite.

Kara forcefully smiled at her, “Pleasure to meet you,” she said curtly.

Awkwardness took over the atmosphere. No one knew what to do, what to say. The nice sweetness that was between Kara and Mon-El was long dispelled, and a hostile atmosphere had taken hold.

“Are you enjoying the Gala,” Barry asked. Of course it would be Barry who was going to try and diffuse the tension.

“It is lovely,” Iris responded, “And the dancing was breathtaking.”

“I am glad you loved it.”

“Of course. I cannot wait for another round.”

“Knowing my Father, it will commence soon.”

“Really? That is wonderful. Perhaps I can start the dance with you?” she turned to Kara as if to seek permission, but Kara didn’t answer her question, and Iris took the hint and continued her conversation with Barry while Kara and Mon-El deliberately ignored one another.

Mon-El would often throw a glance at Barry’s hand that rested upon Kara’s waist hoping that the next time he looked there the hand would disappear. Mon-El couldn’t stand it, and the fact that Kara just let Barry hold her like that riled him. He was invidious of that hand, and bitter that Kara had someone in her life who she was this comfortable with. Someone besides him.

“Bartholomew!” someone bellowed towards them. Kara knew that voice all too well. It was Barry’s Father.

All four of them turned to him, “Were did you run off too? You should be helping, entertaining guests!”

“Father, I was just—.”

“I don’t need an excuse, my boy. I need you to act! We have very important people present, and they need to meet all the Allens. Do you understand boy? And you girl” he pointed at Kara with his cane, “You need to be there with him at all times. No wandering. If you are too part of this family, you need to understand and follow all the rules!” 

His Father huffed and was ready to leave them, when he noticed Mon-El and Iris. He stopped dead in his tracks, and he actually looked embarrassed and was turning red. If only Kara had a photographic camera with her, she would love to capture this moment.

“Oh my dear,” he stammered, “I did not see you here. Ambassador, I am honored that you decided to join us for the evening. We thought you declined the invitation.” The old man didn’t know what to do with himself. He kept fidgeting, his arms moving sporadically at his side. Unsure if he should outstretch his arm to shake his, or keep it down, and with every passing second it looked he grew more nervous and Kara tried to suppress her giggle. She definitely wished she had a photographic camera with her now. However, the giggle died down rather quickly when she realized what Henry had said.

 _Ambassador._ How in Rao’s good name did Mon-El manage to become an ambassador? Kara needed to sit down with him and have a serious talk on how he had managed to be part of the army, not once but twice, and actually have a high rank, and become a sea pirate, and now an ambassador! What did the man do to get this positions? He didn’t look a day above 25. Truthfully, they were both 28 by Krypton and Daxam’s standards. But how did he get into this high ranking position when he looked like a young unexperienced boy.

“And who might this be?” the old brute asked.

“Iris West, my beautiful _partner_ for the evening,” he introduced her and emphasized the word partner, more than likely to get another rise out of Kara, and he was successful. Kara was getting more annoyed by the second.  Which only caused Mon-El to smirk and Kara’s blood to boil even further. Was Mon-El trying to rub it in her face? Try to make her upset, or angry, or _jealous_?

“If you are honored by my presence, you should thank Miss West here. She convinced me to attend, otherwise I would not be here sir,” he continued.

“Of course. Thank you my dear,” although he thanked her, Kara could hear the strain in his voice, “It seems as though you have meet my son, Bartholomew Allen, and his lovely fiancé, Kara.”

Oh Rao, this was getting worse by the second. Mon-El looked incensed, and hurt like Kara had just scorned him in front of everyone. His eyes flashed towards her, and she could physically feel all accusations and questions he was throwing at her, one after another, and she felt herself cower away. This is how you turn an awful situation worse. Mon-El was gripping his wine glass so tight that Kara thought he was going to lose control and shatter it. Rao, he was really mad.

“I must attend to other guest, but I insist we meet in my private office to talk some more,” Henry asked.

“Of course,” Mon-El spoke through his clenched jaw. Henry Allen looked pleased with himself and walked away.

“Fiancé, huh,” Mon-El whispered so only Kara could hear it with her enhanced hearing, “that’s wonderful.” The words were dripping with sarcasm.

“Please excuse me,” Mon-El spoke louder. He didn’t wait for a response and walked off. Kara trailed after him, ignoring Barry’s calls.

“Mon-, uff. Michael! Please wait,” Kara called after him, but he continued to walk away. Kara barely managed to catch up to him. She grabbed his arm and pulled him towards, “Let me explain. Whatever you are thinking, it’s not that. It’s literally the quite opposite.”

“Right. So you aren’t engaged to another.”

“I am, but –”

“You aren’t about to be married.”

“Yes, but no –”

“So what I am thinking it absolutely true –”

“Would you just listen to me!? It’s not like you aren’t here with someone else.”

He scoffed, “Here with someone else. Kara, Iris works at the Swedish Embassy. She is my secretary! She was really excited by the Gala invitation so I told her I would go so she could come along. That’s it! She is very nice friend, but that is all. But you? You are engaged. Engaged! As in to be married. I think that it significantly different!”

“Mon-El, please. Please just believe me. It’s not what you think, okay? This marriage. It’s not real.”

“Right,” he said sardonically.

“Stop acting so pigheaded! I’m telling you the truth. And why are so upset if I was going to get married? Huh? What difference does it make to you?”

Kara thought he would bring up their kiss. That short yet sweet kiss. Perhaps it meant more to him, and just maybe it had meant more for Kara as well. She hoped that he would bring it up. For the last forty years, she began to question the validity of the kiss. Did it happen? Was it a dream? A nightmare? Did she just conjure it up? Every year that passed, the more she doubted it. But if he brought it up right now, it would make it real. It would make whatever they had felt in that moment real. The desperation and desires real.

“Does it matter why?”

“Of course it does!” _Bring up the kiss, dammit!_

“Stop yelling!”

“I wouldn’t have to yell if you weren’t acting all stubborn and rude and…and entitled!” _For the love Rao Mon-El, bring up the goddamn kiss!_

“I’m stubborn? Kara do you even hear yourself? You quite literally chased me down to convince me that your engagement isn’t ‘real’, and I’m the stubborn one?”

“Are we really going to have a conversation about who is more stubborn?” _How have we not talked about the kiss yet?_ “Need I remind you that your willful stubborn ego placed you at death’s door, and then you happily returned there for a second time?”

“Kara, I thought we were over this?” he pinched his nose.

“Over this!?” she yelled as loudly as she could in a hushed voice, “We haven’t even started this! A letter on my door doesn’t mean this conversation is done with! I almost watched you die and you want to brush it under the rug. Not happening! We are going to talk about your reckless behavior.” _And then we kissed you royal buffoon, talk about it!_

“No, we aren’t taking about that. Right now we are going to talk about your impending marriage. For Rao’s sake, you literally put your hand on my chest and gazed into my eyes like a love-struck maiden while you had a fianc –” Kara covered his mouth. That was too loud. Granted nobody was around them, but if someone had walked by the rumor mill would start to churn.

“Not so loud!” she hissed. She lowered her hand from his mouth, and ssh’ed him when it looked like was going speak again. He grimaced as she dragged him down a corridor. Kara kept looking back to make sure no one was following them, the evening had already turned out horribly, but knowing her fate – it could get worse. All she had to do was a find a private room where she could talk to openly, and maybe even smack him a couple times because of the sheer foolery he exhibit throughout the entire evening. She opened the door to a broom closet thinking it would be the best place to have the exchange from prying eyes. However, when she opened the room all she could do was shriek. This time Mon-El had to cover her mouth.

In the closet, there was a shirtless Barry and a semi-dressed Iris kissing each other against the wall. They both jumped apart from Kara’s loud scream. Iris took cover behind Barry as she tried to pull the bodice of her dress up, but it wouldn’t stay up because the ties were completely undone on the back. Barry was blushing, and his lips were completely swollen.

“Hi,” Barry said meekly.

Kara close the door unable to look at this scene before them. She was taking in deep breathes to calm herself her down. She hoped to Rao that Barry and Iris would continue to dress themselves and not resume whatever activates they started in the broom closet.

“So….” Mon-El started. He cleared his throat, “The marriage…engagement…”

“I told you it’s not what it seems. I am, ummm, I’m Barry’s decoy? I guess. I am basically his cover so he can go out and meet his lady love secretly because his Father would never approve of him marrying a lower class girl. Apparently his lady love is your secretary. And hopefully they are both getting dressed and not doing something reckless still!” she yelled the last part so Barry and Iris could hear her. She heard some more shuffling behind the door.

“Lower class? Kara you don’t have wealth either.”

Kara looked insulted, “I have accumulated money over the years…..but that really isn’t the true reason.” Kara had finally managed to squeeze the truth behind his Father’s disdain for his lady love only a few weeks ago.

Mon-El was confused, “Then what is it?” Kara stared at him and waited for the light bulb to go off in his head, “Oh! Oh...”

“Yes, oh,” Henry Allen’s problem stemmed more from skin tone than bank account. It didn’t take a genius to figure it out.

“Now I know why Iris was insistent that we should attend this Gala together, her lover was at this event,” he pondered.

“Yes, it makes more sense now.” She wondered if Barry knew that Iris was attending, she wondered if they talked about this at one of their midnight rendezvous and just forgot to clue in the one person that was actually in their corner about their plan, which went horribly awry.

“Did I just become the unofficial fourth member of this secret ‘Barry Iris Alliance’,” he scratched the back on his neck, and Kara nodded her head.

“Welcome to the secret society.”

Barry and Iris emerged from the broom closet, and thankfully they were full dressed.

“Sorry,” Barry chortled out, “I…we. Us. What you saw… Iris and I. Me and Iris. And KARA,” he suddenly remembered his fiancé, “what you saw –.”

“I got it Barry,” Kara helped her struggling fiancée, “I will explain it to him”

She convinced Barry that Mon-El wasn’t going to blab to anyone, and Iris jumped in as well to defend her boss, and Barry finally relented. Barry and Iris returned to the Gala where going to tell Henry Allen that Kara had gotten sick and wasn’t going to be unable to attend the rest of the event so Mon-El and Kara could remain behind. The evening had been an emotional ride, starting off wonderfully, then gone disastrously wrong, and now it took another pleasant turn. Kara’s head was spinning from the swift changes the night had caused. Now she had another task, explain everything to Mon-El – the question was, where does she start?

“Why do I feel dirty about this?” a shiver ran through him.

“Trust me, it fades away when you learn how much they love each other,” Kara grinned at him, “Come on, and let me explain everything to you. You are going to be our new partner in crime for the next several months!” Kara tugged him further into the hallway.

“This isn’t what I signed up for,” he grumbled, “I do have an actual job, you know? I don’t have time for these shenanigans.”

“Thank you for reminding me. We need to add your job to the list.”

“What list?”

“Of what we need to talk about. Number one being your tendency to embrace death so happily,” he sighed, “You are not avoiding that discussion Mon-El. And then we are going to talk about your position as an Ambassador. How did you manage to that?”

“With a lot of hard work,” he spoke seriously, “and I would like to keep that position, and getting caught in a Romeo and Juliet love affair isn’t exactly going to help me Kara.”

“Oh come on, it’s for love,” she expected him to say something positive about love but he remained mute, “you know what they say?”

“What?”

“If you help someone else find their love, then your love will find you.”

“Really?”

“Mhmmm.”

“So if I help Barry and Iris, then I am going to find my special someone as well,” Kara nodded vigorously at Mon-El’s understanding of the saying. Mon-El pulled Kara back, and she was flush against his body and his arm weaved around her waist, a place he so desperately wanted to be once he saw Barry claim it, “What if I already found my special someone, then what?” his eyes were hooded as he looked down at her, and Kara thought he someone managed to pull her closer to him even though their bodies were already as physically close as possible.

“What then Kara,” he asked again when Kara couldn’t formulate any words.

She was lost in the bliss on his touch on her, remembering his body like the night he kissed her…but instead of death and desperation, she felt light and warm inside. His forehead brushed against hers, and she felt his nose brush against her, setting her skin on fire.

“Kara,” he softly said, “what then?”

“Who…who did you find,” she managed to stammer out, although she didn’t want to find out the answer. She closed her eyes, thinking that would somehow lessen the blow of whatever name he uttered. She felt numb allover, and heart crushed against the weight of his stare. Trepidation filled the air as Mon-El prolonged the moment, like he was contemplating whether he should say the name of not, whether he should say the truth or not.

“No one,” Kara’s eyes widened at his response. He tricked her, and he was smirking, “I was just wondering if you had an answer to that, and you didn’t. So I am fairly certain that helping them isn’t going to help me if you don’t even have an answer for that loophole.”

She shoved him roughly away, not liking how he toyed with her emotions. Emotions she didn’t even have a grasp on herself, and he played them like a fiddle, “Well it would be the nice thing to do. You know for your sweet secretary…And for me,” she added after a pause, hoping that would entice him to help.

“Fine,” he relented, “only for you. But my work comes first, okay?”

“Of course,” she saluted him while giggling.

“Kara, you know I am not in the army anymore, right?” he bemused. Kara wrapped her arms around his and they continued to walk down the hallway, this time side by side.

“So you are really going through with this wedding? Or is the engagement going to be broken off at some point,” Kara could have sworn she detected a hint of worry and nervousness in his voice.

“Marriage,” she solemnly said, “Who’s going to remarry a divorced man?” Well, that was what she and Barry were hoping for.

“Right…”

“It’s not real, Mon-El. None of this real.”

“I know, but it’s just hard to swallow.” Kara understood exactly what he meant. It was hard for her to swallow Iris and Mon-El together, she couldn’t even imagine how Mon-El felt in regards to this farce that she was playing with Barry. Kara didn’t know where her green-eyed monster came from, but if Mon-El was feeling the same, then he too was jealous? This should mean more, but he was so willing to forget the kiss, perhaps Kara was imagining the envious tone in his voice to better fulfill her fantasies. Mon-El wasn’t jealous, he was just…concerned?

Kara brushed aside her own imagination and steered the conversation elsewhere, “Oh for my wedding you should be my maid of honor!”

“Kara…,” he groaned.

“I was just joking,” her laughter filled the hallway. The evening had started off so badly, but now it was finally getting better. She had Mon-El; Mon-El and her, they were together again. The next few months were going to be entertaining with them helping Barry and Iris. She had a sneaky new partner in crime, and maybe she wanted something more than just a partner, but she was happy to settle with that title for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you guys liked .... like i really hope you guys liked it cause i am super nervous about this chapter.... 
> 
> I am going on vaca for the next week, and wont be back till the 29th, so i might update the night a come back, or the next day.  
> Chapter Six is literally the chapter i think everyone is looking forward to, and I wanted to upload it before i left on vaca, but due to the clusterfuck of Chapter 5 it got delayed. So ... yup. (...who knows i might even upload it friday???)  
> as always please ignore mistakes -- and an edited one will up uploaded soon :)) 
> 
> also, Chapter Six awaits all of you! :))


	6. Year 1942

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @juliakaze for especially creating this aesthetic at the last second because i was a clueless idiot lol
> 
> SURPRISE UPDATE! i wanted to get rid of the bitter taste of Chapter 5, so here is Chapter 6 early!
> 
> Hope you guys like it! As always - ignore mistakes and an edited one will be posted soon...especially on this one cause i wanted to give it to you guys asap
> 
> and now seriously...no update till i come back from vaca lol

**YEAR 1942**

**LOCATION: NORTH CAROLINA**

 

 

> Kara trailed her hand across the smooth surface, occasionally crossing the hairs on his bare flesh. She sighed and snuggled into the crook of his neck. Gravitating closer to his warmth, she felt so light and content. If the world was to end right now, Kara would die a happy woman. His arm was wrapped around her waist, and the hand that once had a firm grip on her hip was now loose once he fell into a deep slumber. She skimmed her hand further down his chest, and away from his heart. The steady rise and fall of his chest fluttered her heart. Rao, she couldn't even think straight, it was like she climbed a cloud of euphoria and refused to come down.

Sleep wouldn't grace Kara tonight, she knew that and she didn't want it to. The will to stay awake was strong because he was leaving in the morning, and she needed to take all of him in tonight, drink him in until she was fully intoxicated. She had long before memorized his face, but now she had more of him to remember. Her hands trailed across the canvas of his bare chest, committing it to memory. Every nook, every scar, and every imperfection was going to be ingrained in her mind by dawn. A long jagged scar was etched under the right pectoral, and Kara rightfully assumed that it was an old scar, one that he most likely got on Daxam because Earth's yellow sun made their skin impenetrable. But then she came across two small holes near his right hip.

Tears brimmed in her eyes involuntarily as the night that caused these wounds came flashing back. The fear she felt when she saw him near death came flooding back. Along with the buried down emotions that she long thought she drowned: fear, helplessness, dread, and panic. Watching his life slowly ebb away from her had ignited sentiments that she never wanted to feel again. Like someone had locked her in a room and threw away the key and she was forced to watch the one person she cared about die before her eyes and be utterly useless to help.

She hugged him tighter, and snuggled into him deeper hoping all the pain of the night would go away by reminding herself that he was alive, and he was here with her. Those damn bullets had caused her to have the worst night of her life, but today? They might have caused her to have her best.

***********

It was completely dark from her vantage point from the main stage, her eyes were taking time to adjust to the new ambiance as she walked across the stage. The audience slowly began to illuminate in her vision the longer she stared into the expansive room. Light was coming from every table, due to a single lantern being lit at the center of each table. The longer she looked the more light became visible and her nerves began to calm down.

She tried to breathe out all the nervousness that she was pulsing through her, although she had performed a hundred times before, each night felt like the first. Initially, the spotlight on the microphone had intimidated her, but now she welcomed the sight, as her confidence slowly increased. She approached the center of the stage and stood before the microphone, and basked in the spotlight. Music slowly began to fill up the room, and Kara felt herself get lost in the melody and the music resonated within her….

 _"We'll meet again_  
Don't know where  
Don't know when  
But I know we'll meet again some sunny day  
Keep smiling through  
Just like you always do  
'Till the blue skies drive the dark clouds faraway"

The words came out like second nature to her, and when Kara sang she became part of the harmony, escaped into a world of bliss, and intertwined herself with lyrics. The audience was enchanted by her melodious lyrics, and were lost in glazed merriment as if her voice was casting a spell upon all of them. Her eyes moved across the room, as she sang the song in her sweet but sultry voice, when they bulged at what – or who – her vision had caught, and she felt her voice about to give away…

 _"Drive the dark clouds far away_  
So will you please say hello  
To the folks that I know  
Tell them it won't be long  
They'll be happy to know  
That as you saw me go  
I was singin' this song"

She continued to sing through her bafflement. Off in the distance was Mon-El, lounging at a one of the tables, with his glass raised half-up. When he saw her eyes settle upon his, he nodded his head and raised his glass higher to give her a 'cheers'. The moment lasted for a second, and then she continued to sing and move her eyes across the rest of audience. She couldn't keep her gaze at him while performing, he was took much of a cool drink in the hot desert for her to concentrate on anything else. Avoiding him would be the best option…

 _"We'll meet again_  
Don't know where  
Don't know when  
But I know we'll meet again some sunny day"

When Kara finished her set, she quickly scrambled off the stage after bowing and scurried into her dressing room to change out of her golden dress. She ran down to the audience and saw him leaning against the bar ordering some drinks, and she quickly ran across the room and literally jumped into his arms, not caring at who saw her do that. He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her off her feet and snuggled into her neck, and she cuddled into his. She breathed in his musky scent. A mix of his cologne, peppermint, alcohol and…paper? Whatever the smell, she was happy to have it in her life again.

"Kara," he breathed into her.

"Mon-El," she whispered so only he could hear her. He chuckled, and she could feel his laughter vibrate against her chest – that's how close they were right now.

Hoots and howls were directed towards to them, as the drunk men around them saw how tightly wrapped they were around each other. Kara blushed and felt her cheeks burning, and slowly began to detangle herself from his embrace. A moment ago, all she could see was him, nothing else existed besides them, but once the trance was broken, shame and embarrassment crept up on her.

"Sorry," she giggled, "Got a little too excited Michael."

"I'm not complaining," he smirked. Although they weren't hugging anymore their bodies were close enough that their chest could brush against each other.

"You have an amazing voice Kara," he handed her a drink, "I'm surprised I haven't heard you sing before." He spoke to her like they hadn't been apart from each other for the last forty years, so casual, no introductions, he just picked up their friendship were they had left it.

Kara giggled even more, unable to accept the compliments. Compliments from strangers were easier to take than compliments from people she cared about. Praise could easily be tossed around, but if someone she cared about held her high on their pedestal, it meant much more, "I didn't know myself. Until I was thrown up on stage one evening because the lead singer didn't show up. The crowd was small and they just needed a performer and that started my career. Kara Danvers, headlining for a small club in North Carolina. Wasn't exactly a dream of mine, but I think I am loving it."

"Well it's a good thing they found you. Otherwise your beautiful voice would have been never been discovered, and never would have graced my ears. I think I can listen to you sing forever," he just wouldn't stop praising her, and she couldn't stop giggling like a madwoman. The conversation needed to steer away from her before she became a bumbling mess before him.

"What are doing here? Shouldn't you be in some War Council meeting," she teased him. He was an ambassador before, and although him still being an ambassador was highly improbable due to the fact that he doesn't age and people would more than likely recognize him, she still questioned him because she could never really predict what Mon-El would do next. Every career, every profession he picked was different.

The last time she had seen him was in Greece, and he was an ambassador from Sweden. They both had gotten caught up in a Romeo and Juliet like love story, where they both played a part in helping the lovebirds find a happy ending. Her affair in Greece had even resulted in her getting married. Married! Even though the marriage barely lasted a few months, and she never consummated it – she was now a divorced alien who was basically an immortal. That was one hefty title to possess.

Mon-El and her had helped the lovers rendezvous in secret, and kept each other company when the love birds were together, baring if he had no diplomatic meeting to attend. Soon after she 'left' Barry, she had to leave Mon-El as well. Kara couldn't be caught in that city ever again, and she didn't want to risk it and remain in the country either.

She continued on and quelled her inquisitive side and visited many places on Earth. Climbed Mt. Everest, walked the entire length of The Great Wall, tried to dig up some mummies, and even swan with the sea lions in the North Pole. However, Mon-El had a job to do, and he couldn't just abandon his positon so he remained in Greece while Kara left. They tried to keep up correspondence, but with Kara constantly on the move and Mon-El getting busy with the tension brewing in Europe, the letters were hard to come by. And once the Great War broke out, the letters ceased altogether.

Sweden and Greece had remained neutral throughout the war, but Mon-El was still in a governing position and all hands were on deck. They haven't talked since the Great War, and now another war broke out. The Great War was supposed to be  _The War to End All War_ , but human nature proved that wrong. War and carnage was ingrained in the human genome as was the desire to eat and procreate was. But didn't all life on planets have war at some point? It wasn't just human nature – but just nature.

"War Council?" he scoffed, "Haven't been in a government position in years. No war planning on my behalf. I have no rank."

"Good!" She didn't want Mon-El to fight in the war. After the last time, where she had to clean the blood off his body, sow his wounds shut, and watch him slowly die before her eyes, she didn't want him anywhere near that bloodbath. Especially since bullets could hurt him, and she wouldn't be there to help him, "I was hoping to apply as an Army Nurse, but I couldn't put down my past experience as a nurse being in 1860s when I don't look a day over 26."

Despite not wanting Mon-El to go to war, she had a desire to fight for the cause. Everything that was happening in Europe was despicable and if she couldn't help by fighting, she was going to do something dammit. But that something still didn't work in her favor. The rules of this century, and the centuries before, prohibited woman from fighting claiming their fragility as the reason. The idea was completely ludicrous, and she remembered the famous female warriors on Krypton, most notably Faora-UI, the only warrior who was able to defeat General Zod. And Kara was granted more strength than the combined effort of a thousand men, she would fare well in battle, but alas she was bound the misogynistic thinking of the Earthlings.

"But you definitely don't need to fight in the war!" she jutted her finger at him. Trying to emphasize her point, just because he didn't have any rank and wasn't part of the military right now doesn't mean he isn't going to sign up for deployment in the future.

"Of course. I'm not going to  _fight_  in the war," the way he said fight made Kara uneasy. Why did he emphasize that word? And why was he looking at her like cocky idiot?

She narrowed her eyes, "Michael," she said threateningly, "I am seeing you for the first time in forty years. Do not make angry. And do not make me want to kick your ass. We both know who is stronger. Now, are you fighting in the war or not."

He raised his hands up in a surrender, "No Kara. I am not fighting in the war. Happy?"

"Very."

"Now if you interrogation is over could we please sit down and have some drinks and catch up?"

Kara nodded, and gripped his hands into hers and dragged him towards a table. They both settled down and talked about everything in they had done in the last forty years. Kara had kept exploring different wonders of the world, learned the rich ancient history of this planet hidden in cave markings, and forgotten languages, and saw the beauty that was Earth with clear eyes for the first time. She only had settled down a couple years ago after she had her fill of adventures, and finally decided that she didn't mind setting down roots.

On the other hand, Mon-El finished his term as ambassador and joined the workforce. Or rather, joined the brilliant minds that had been creating new technology and machines for the world. He used his background in engineering to help guide the fruition of the industrial revolution into the future. It was teetering the border of breaking the Intergalactic Law, but Mon-El swore that he never gave them any ideas, but simply bounced suggestions based off the human's idea and gently – very gently – steered them in the right direction. They failed more times than not, but he was there to guide them, and never gave them more information than they could handle or understand. But he abandoned that line of work a few years back since it didn't give him any satisfaction and humans were progressing well without his help anyway.

"Journalism," he said proudly, "My new profession. It's been three years and I still love the thrill of the job. New stories to uncover every day. Articles that help people, articles that inform people. I've written my fair share of exposé stories as well. And since I am invincible the threats don't frighten me."

Invincible. There is damning evidence to prove the contrary. But she was too happy right now to ruin the moment with those dreary thoughts. Rao clearly had a plan and Kara had been told from birth that she must accept it. So logically, whatever the reason was for his injury,  _and there had to be a reason_ , Rao was all-knowing so he must know why, and who was she to question Rao's doing, right? She was just supposed to be a devote follower. But Mon-El made her feel uneasy about her ardent devotion, she was supposed to leave everything in the hands of Rao, but why would Rao do this to her? Why would Rao do this to him? Mon-El was a breath of fresh air for her, surely Rao understood that, so why did he almost make her lose him?

Certainly Rao must know how he made her feel: insanely giddy, cheerful, content, and happy. Every second she spent with him, was a second will spent. And after this forty year drought, she could finally breathe again.

"So what else did you see Kara?" He had asked this question about a thousand times, and it resulted into another spiraling conversation about what other wonders she had seen.

"Michael," she moaned, "it's almost one in the morning, and the club is closing. We can pick up this conversation later. After a good night's rest. And you can see me perform again tomorrow evening."

"Uhh… about that Kara," he fiddled his thumbs, and looked everywhere besides her, "I was going… Kara please –"

"Just spit it out," she laughed. Whatever it was, it can't be that bad? She played with her glass while she waited for him to find the right words.

"I'm shipping out tomorrow. I'm not fighting in the war, but I am going as a reporter to document the events through writing and photos," Kara's hold on the glass increased as she became more furious. How dare he? The glass shattered as Kara's wrath began to flow out of her. It felt like someone had pulled the rug from under her, but she had only herself to blame, she was foolish enough to stand on top of the rug in the first place. She stood up in fury, and she felt her skin turn red and vision muddled by white hot rage. She was trying to contain her betrayal and rage that she desperately wanted to get out. It was consuming her, and she knew she would combust if she didn't yell, break something, or punch someone. She needed an outlet before the inferno in her blazed on.

"Ma'am," the security guard called out to her, "Everything alright. Is this man bothering you?"

The temptation to say yes was strong. To see him get kicked out sounded so pleasant to her, but she needed to tell him how stupid he was, and if anyone was going to roughhouse him, it was going to be her, "No everything is just fine," she seethed, and tried to cool down the fire that burned in her.

"Well, whatever is going on between y'all, could you please take it outside?"

She curtly nodded, and forcefully dragged Mon-El outside of the club ignoring his every protest and stopped only when they were in the alleyway behind the lounge.

"You… You… Stupid, stupid Daxamite!" she roared, "You lied to me! You are still going to the war, and it doesn't matter that you aren't 'fighting' you are going to be right there next to them. Do you think bullets won't come to you if because you are just 'just a reporter'? Huh? A stray bullet could hit you and no one there might be able to save your stupid Daxamite ass!"

"Oh stop being so melodramatic Kryptonian!" they both reverted to calling themselves by their race. It made the insults more personal, "You were going to try and be an army nurse! You were putting yourself in danger as much as I was! What makes what you were going to do better than I? Typical flawed Kryptonian thinking!"

"A bullet isn't going to hurt me you idiot!"

"And why is that?"

"Because I am Kryptonian and you are a Daxamite!"

"Yes, because that makes sense –"

"No that came out wrong."

"And what makes it right? Huh? "

With every sentence, they had walked towards each other and now they were a step away. Kara tried to level her breathing to calm herself, she needed to be relaxed to explain to this stubborn Daxamite why she wouldn't have been affected.

"Mon-El," she whispered, trying to get a hold of her anger, "After you left, I tested the bullets that affected you against me. If it was able to harm you, I needed to know if it had the same effect on me. We are from sister worlds, and share a similar genome. And when I tested it against my skin, nothing happened. It didn't weaken me, it didn't hurt, it couldn't even penetrate my skin. I think you are allergic or can be poisoned by lead. Although I am not certain. The bullet was primarily made of lead, but it wasn't pure lead. Any number of things could have been the cause…," she took the finally step closer to him, "One stray bullet Mon-El. Just one, and you would be ten times more likely to die. Ten times weaker than a human. Just one stray bullet…and dead…gone. Do you realize that?" she murmured. Her eyes remaining downcast, "Gone…and I'm alone. Gone…and there is a hole in my hear—," her breathe hitched.

He cupped her cheeks, and brushed his thumb across them, "Then I better not get shot," he gently mused.

"I can't lose you Mon-El," she desperately clutched his lime green striped shirt, "I need you. I need you to be alive. Even if you aren't with me, I just need you to be alive somewhere."

"You aren't going to lose me because I  _refuse_  to leave you," he whispered, trying to soothe Kara from her frenzied state. He dropped his arm to her waist and his other hand moved to lay hers flat against his chest, "You feel this? Can you hear this? It's beating for you. And it's never going to stop beating for you, because I won't let it," he dropped his forehead to rest against her, "I promise Kara. I promise."

Kara couldn't wrap her head around his declaration. It's beating for  _you_. It's beating for  _her_. Words she didn't know she longed to hear, but once he said them – it just felt so right. She wasn't a round peg in a square hole. No, she had found her place.

She nodded her head, "Don't let it stop Mon-El. Swear on Rao that you will not let it stop beating for me," she pressed herself flush against him and pleaded in anguish. Their noses brushed against each other and Mon-El tangled his hand into her hair.

"I promise on Rao. I promise on you," they were breathing so heavily, and the air between them was mixing together. The anger that they were both emitting before had now transformed into something else, something more pleasant.

Desire.

Desire to keep each other safe, desire to keep each other close, and then desire to touch each other, desire to feel each other.

The closeness between them intoxicated her, and saturated all her of senses and she felt herself climbing a ladder of ecstasy. She was already high off his confession and his lips were so close that all she wanted to do was devour them. She raised herself on her toes and pulled his head down. Mon-El knew immediately what she wanted, and captured her lips as she rose up to him. Kara couldn't help but moan after the initial contact. Her hands wrapped around his broad shoulder as his fell to her waist. He ran his hands across her the expanse of her back and the fabric of her shirt begin to ride up, which gave him free reign, and he skim his hands on her bare flesh.

He pulled away and Kara chased his lips, longing to taste them again, "you still taste like honey," he murmured huskily before capturing her lips again in for languid, and dirty kiss.

Still taste like honey _. Still_  taste like honey. He remembered the kiss, it had been real and not her imagination running wild. He had waited almost sixty years to confirm it, and Kara didn't know if she should be happy or upset that he took him this long to acknowledge it – it took him this long to make it valid. She was tempted to pull away from him and confront him, but why dwell on the past when the present was oh-so beautiful. They were trapped in this cocoon of a moment, and Kara didn't want to escape from it for as long as she could. Choosing instead to let it go and give in to the sensations he was evoking within her _right now._

His hands were burning a path on her flesh and setting her skin ablaze. To counter the fire he lighting within her, she bit his lower lip and felt her teeth clash against his. He growled in response, and she gasped at the sound. She wasn't frightened by it, but rather shocked that she was the one who elicited that response.

"Oh Kara," he chuckled at her innocence. He swiftly turned them around so she was against the brick wall, and his body was covering her completely.

Instead of kissing her again, he dropped to kiss neck and slowly began to bite and suck a path to her ear. Kara couldn't help the sounds that came out of her, she wasn't in control anymore and it seemed like a primal urge had taken over. She desperately tried to pull him closer to her as if he was giving her life. She hitched her leg onto his hips, which caused him to jerk forward and made Kara realize the full extent of his desire. He grunted at this new contact, "you little minx," he breathed into her nape.

She hadn't done in unintentionally the first time, but his little comment made her want to repeat her actions. And she did, all while untucking his shirt, and letting her hands roam free over the entirety of his back. She felt his muscles ripple and contract as she continued her ministration, like she was egging him on. He trailed his fingers up her bent knee, his fingertips barely grazing her skin but invoking a deep seeded yearning from within her. He captured her lips again, and this time she parted them allowing him to explore unobstructed. Kara mewled at this new pleasant intrusion.

She ripped open his shirt, and she could distinctly hear the button fall on the ground as they scattered. He released her lips, and stared at her waiting for a confirmation that this was okay, "Kara…," his voice was hoarse and aroused, but he needed to know if she wanted to carry on.

Kara placed her hand over his bare chest, right over his heart, "Mine," she whispered.

"Yours," and Kara pulled him in for another longing kiss. That was all the confirmation Mon-El needed to continue.

***********

Light had begun to creep in through the curtains, and dawn was about to break. Mon-El had to depart to his designated port by noon, meaning she only had a couple more hours left with him. She continued to skim her fingertips against the bullet holes that now held both good and bad memories. The bullets had caused her so much pain and agony, but they had now also soothed those feelings by bringing Mon-El closer to her. Inflicting and then alleviating the pain.

Her room was a complete mess, they had ripped off each other's clothes in a flurry without noticing where they landed. His pants were draped across her ceiling fan, and her blouse was torn in two, and each part was in opposite sides of the room. The blanket was strewn on the floor, along with many of her pillows. Currently, only one pillow was on the bed, and Mon-El was using it. Kara, on the other hand, used him as her pillow instead, snuggling herself into the crook of his neck. Their nakedness was barely covered by a thin white sheet, which was disproportionately on him. To actually cover herself, she needed to hike and entangle her legs onto Mon-El under the sheets. Kara felt her cheeks turning red as she remembered what had led to this messy room.

"That tickles," Mon-El grunted, and Kara immediately pulled her fingers away from his right hip. It wasn't supposed to tickle him, she was a barely touching his skin. Sadden by the loss of her touch Mon-El whined, "I didn't say to stop."

"Well, you said it tickled," Kara looked up at him, readjusting her head on his shoulder, "Most people don't like to be tickled."

"Ah, yes. But I am not like most people. You see, and you must keep this a secret – I am an alien," he spoke solemnly.

Kara cackled, "Stupid Daxamite," the words were said more lovingly rather than them being an insult.

"I do remember not being so 'stupid' last night. I think that Kara would disagree," he trailed his fingers up her spine.

"I don't know what you are talking about."

"Really? I do recall you panting, or was it moaning? 'Right there. Don't stop. Please. More. Harder. Fas—," Kara lifted herself so she cover his mouth completely. Mortified that he was uttering those words back it him.

"I get it. Stop," she hissed. But Kara still didn't remove her hand from his mouth, afraid that Mon-El might resume saying those thing, so Mon-El licked it instead, "Gross…"

"You didn't think so last night," he winked at her.

"Oh Rao, please make him stop!"

"I don't think the Gods will ever be able to stop me."

The temptation to give him a rebuttal was strong, but she didn't want her final hours with his to be fighting, even if it was playful banter.

"Mon-El?"

"Yes?"

"Why do you say Gods, and then sometimes you say Rao?" she had secretly had wondered this for years, Mon-El would constantly interchange Rao for Gods, and Gods for Rao, and she never knew why, and was afraid to ask him. She hoped that she wasn't the reason he changed his belief, she would rather be an ardent believer, than a vapid one.

He chuckled, "What brought on this question?"

Kara shrugged, "Curiosity?"

Truthfully, it was curiosity, but it was also trepidation. She didn't want Mon-El to change for her, if he believed in many Gods, she didn't want him to switch his religion to Rao…she wanted him to be himself.

"Well, I believe in Rao. But I guess Gods just slips out? When I left Daxam, a new religious order was taking over, and they believed in many Gods and wished to obliterate all temples of Rao, and convert all Daxamites. And they were successful to a degree. But some Daxamite still followed the old way, the Kryptonian way. We prayed at night, we had shrines hidden in our homes, and we put up a façade of believing in the New Order Religion. So sometimes I say 'Gods' because I was forced to believe in them, but I say 'Rao' because I believe in his light, and his strength."

Kara was silent as she took in the new information, she hadn't know that Daxam had a new religion on its hands, and was elated to know that Mon-El had kept the 'old ways'. She wanted him to be himself, and would have loved him nonetheless if he believed in many Gods, but she was jubilated at his confession.

"Was that the right answer Kara, your silence is killing me," he teased.

She clasped his free hand, the one that wasn't on her waist, and sincerely said, "Rao will protect you, I will pray to Rao every night."

"Kara, you don't have to –"

"But I will," she said definitely, signaling that it was the end of that conversation and her words were final. They both believed in Rao's light, so if she prayed to him, he would have to listen, right?

She settled back onto his chest, and continued to draw patterns across his skin, and Mon-El didn't say anything either, but rather etched his own intricate designs on her back.

"You are going to leave soon," Kara asked. She felt Mon-El nod his head, "You already made one promise. Can you make me another one?"

It hurt to even think about him leaving her, into the most dangerous situation. A warzone were he could be killed instantly because Rao thought that giving him a weakness, an allergy was a good idea. And more importantly, Mon-El seemed to lack self-preservation. A fool would only go into Death's arms so willingly. And she hoped Mon-El was no fool. That he would be careful, aware, and he would come back alive. Every day she would wonder if they were going to run into each other again, everyday – and Kara couldn't imagine not feeling that ever again.

One simple thought had helped her live on this forsaken planet for Rao knows how many years. Every day she wasn't with him, she hoped that she would see a glimpse of him in the crowd and they would share each other's company once more. And every time they were forced to depart from one another, she held that same wish in her heart. He was out there alive and somewhere in the world, and she just had to wait for fate to intervene again.

But this time, what is fate intervened for the worse. What if he didn't come back? What if she never gets the chance to see his face in the crowd again? What if she couldn't touch him anymore? What if her heart never fluttered? What if she never felt like this again?

So happy, so content, so serene, so…in love?

"What do you want me to promise," he asked.

Kara felt hot tears trickle down her cheeks, "You promised this heart will continue to beat for me," she placed her hand over his heart, "Can you promise that this heart will come back to me? Please. Come find me again after you return. Promise me you will come back to me, promise me you will find me again. Promise me."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE UPDATE! i wanted to get rid of the bitter taste of Chapter 5, so here is Chapter 6 early!
> 
> Hope you guys like it! As always - ignore mistakes and an edited one will be posted soon...especially on this one cause i wanted to give it to you guys asap
> 
> and now seriously...no update till i come back from vaca lol
> 
> Song is We Will Meet Again by Vera Lynn if anyone wants to listen to it, it is time consistent with the story ;)


	7. Year 1982

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @juliakaze -- this is my favorite aesthetic that you created!!!

**YEAR 1982**

**LOCATION: FLORIDA**

****

 

Tick. _Tock._ Tick. _Tock._ Tick. _Tock._

The clock behind the counter mocked Kara, as the quiet sounds of the contraption echoed in her ears. This wasn’t how she expected to spend her Friday evening, let alone Christmas Eve. Kara had become fond of this holiday, but staring at the pasty off-white wall wasn’t exactly the best way to spend it – there were a million other ways she could have celebrated the night but her stubbornness had resulted in her sitting in a dingy booth in a small diner.

Christmas was a religious holiday on this world, about the birth of the son of God. Friends and families gathered together to celebrate the anniversary of his birth, and spread cheer and joy, and give each other presents. Kara knew better though, having lived on this planet for more than two centuries, that the gifts, parties, and other unique attributes associated with Christmas nowadays was an afterthought, conjured up by people wanting to make money off the season of festivities. Kara occasionally took part in the holiday, though not for any religious reasons. Rather, she gave gifts to her co-workers, and friends she had made throughout the years, and sometimes even drank and partied like any other red-blooded American during the festive season.

Currently, she was on quest to re-start her life. She had lived in Seattle for almost twelve years and she couldn’t keep the charade of having an amazing skin regiment, or genetics to the fact that she never aged. It was once again the time to restart her life, and her new destination was Florida for more than one reason. But now she was discovering reason that she didn’t even know about.

 _Rao always has a plan_ , a voice echoed in her mind.

A plan? If this was Rao’s plan it must have been the most convoluted, messy, and disastrous plan he had ever concocted. Otherwise, why would she sitting in a diner – alone – with a cup of coffee that was turning cold by the second, listening to the infuriating sound of time passing as she watched Mon-El walk around and serve customers with a stupid fucking smile while he refused to give her a second look!

The entire diner was almost empty, but Mon-El still refused to talk to her, let alone look at her. He was happily serving the only other customer in the diner while skillfully avoiding her. He would walk past her booth occasionally to refill her cup of coffee, but wouldn’t say a goddamn word. And if he wasn’t going to say anything, she wasn’t going to either. Two can play at this game!

Kara had been sitting in this booth since noon, and it was almost nearing midnight. Other customers, and even some of the staff had given her questioning looks throughout the day, but once she saw Mon-El she had made up her mind that she wasn’t going to leave this establishment without giving him a piece of her mind. What she hadn’t been expecting was him being a stubborn fool and refusing to even interact with her. Kara was half tempted to leave, but she already committed to this task, and was going to see it through.

“You stupid bastard,” she murmured under her breath, and for the first time this entire day Mon-El actually looked at her. Annoyance and anger pulsed out of his eyes, and his glare intensified. Good. She was glad he heard her, “you know it’s true,” she whispered again while holding his gaze.

Mon-El composed his face again and started talking to the last customer in the diner.

 _“How was your meal Winn?”_ she picked up their conversation through her enhanced hearing.

 _“Wonderful as always Mike!”_ her eyebrows perked up. Was it Mike now? _“Although I am still looking forward to those crepes you promised me!”_

Mon-El laughed, and Kara began to seethe in her booth. He was happy without her, how dare he?

 _“When Megan lets me in the kitchen again, I will definitely make you those crepes.”_ He can cook now?

_“Well, I best be heading home. Lena had to work the late shift tonight so she could get Christmas Day off. And we have to go to her house for Christmas morning. More snide comments from Lilian and Lex. And us working overtime doesn’t work well the family. They don’t see the beauty of the Challenger yet, they just expect another failed mission. You should be happy you don’t have in-laws yet.”_

_“Don’t worry Winn, they might not see it, but I definitely do. And so does the rest of the world.”_

_”Ya…ya Mike. I don’t need another Space the final frontier speech from you.”_

_“Well, you will keep getting it until you begin to believe you.”_

_“Trust me, Lena and I see it. It’s just the rest of Luthors that are a problem. See you tomorrow night?”_

_“Of course!”_

_“Make sure you bring some Christmas cheer! And tell Megan to not make the dipping sauce spicy again…only Jon can handle that spice.”_

_“No guarantees Winn. Good night…and Merry Christmas!”_

_“Merry Christmas.”_

She saw Winn slam some money down on the counter, and pick up his coat and head off. He had friends, and he had life here in Florida. A life without her. Granted, she had a life without him in Seattle, and in Rio, and in New Zealand…. but seeing that he moved on as well hurt a lot more than she thought.

With no left in the diner besides Mon-El and one other server, he had to talk to her, even if it was ‘We are closing soon, you need to leave’.

But the minutes went by and nothing happened…. He swept the floors, bused the tables, wiped the counters all while whistling a tune that Kara had never heard of. Listening to the clock tick was bad – but this unknown tune was literally setting her ears on fire.

“Hey Mike!” another server came out the back room, “It’s pretty dead tonight, and it’s Christmas Eve, I don’t think the diner needs the both of us. I’ll finish up cleaning, and maybe even close early. Why don’t you head out?”

“Megan, it’s no trouble at all,” huh, so this was Megan, “I don’t mind staying…”

“Mike, I’m being serious. It’s literally dead. Just go home,” she playfully slapped a towel at him. And tried to shoo him away with her hands.

“Well in that case. Why don’t you go home, and spend Christmas Eve with Jon and the rug rats and I’ll close up shop,” his eyes snapped to Kara for a brief second, “and I’ll maybe shut down the place an hour early or so…?”

“Mike, I can’t –”

“You can, and you will!”

After some very good insistence on Mon-El’s part, Megan finally relented and gathered her stuff and left. But not without telling Mon-El how exactly too close up the diner: make sure the dishes are clean, the open sign is turned off, and the meat is placed out to defrost, and so on. It certainly gave off the impression that Megan was the owner of the diner, based off the way she fretted over it. Mon-El finally placated her, claiming he has closed the diner many times and she had no reason to worry. And now that Megan was gone, Kara was sure they were the only ones left in the entire establishment.

“Oh shit, I forgot to tell her about the dipping sauce,” Mon-El bemoaned, “Winn’s going to have a fit.”

“It’s not the only thing you forgot,” she hissed at him. Not even bothering to whisper, they were the only ones left, who cared?

“Do you have something to say?” he shot back.

“Me, have something to say?” she said incredulously, “What-ever made you think that I do? Was if me sitting in this diner for fucking twelve hours your first clue? If not, you Daxamites must be really daft!”

Mon-El crossed the room towards her in a rage, ready to give her a piece of her mind. He was pointing an accusatory finger at her and his body was visibly shaking, and Kara could practically feel the pure fury that he was emitting off of him. Finally, she thought. But no words were spoken again. His jaw clenched down, and he pushed his accusing finger back into his fist, “Not worth it,” he gritted and turned to walk away.

Now it was Kara’s turn to be irritated. Not worth it? What the hell was that supposed to mean? All of her pent up irritation finally came bursting out, and she chucked her completely filled coffee mug in his direction, missing him and hitting the counter in front of him.

“What. The. Hell. Is. Your. Problem!” Mon-El clenched his fists tighter, and Kara could his arm muscles ripple and strain due to the additional tension he was exerting.

“My. Problem. Is. You.” she responded in kind.

“Right. I’m the problem. Just doing my job, and I’m the problem. Whatever helps you sleep better at night, Kryptonian,” his words cut her deep, reminding her of the day they crashed landed. _Whatever helps you sleep better at night, Kryptonian?_ It was like they were the old Kara and Mon-El back in 1754. Strangers. Enemies. Not the ones who had spent 150 years together building a strong friendship that Kara hoped would lead to more one day. Well, it was so close to leading to something more. That ‘something more’ was almost in her grasp, it was so close and she still let it slip away. And now? All the progress, all the memories they had created together were slowly disappearing in front of her.

Mon-El began cleaning the glass shards of her coffee cup from the counter and the floor, “Why are you even here?”

How was she supposed to answer that? She felt like the biggest idiot right now. Twelve hours she had spent in this diner and she hadn’t even thought about what she was going to say to him. So she did the only thing she could when people are losing an argument, “Why are you here?” she mocked him.

He chuckled. He actually chuckled. But it wasn’t the laughter she was used to hearing, laughter that was usually jovial, sweet, and warmed her heart. It was a cruel laughter, and she felt ridiculed by it, “Why am I at the place I fucking work at?” Her eyes bulged, in all her time of being with him she had never once heard him curse out loud, “Are being serious right now Kara?”

She was too stunned to say anything. Oh Rao, where did it go all wrong?

“But you? You come into this diner, you see me working here and you sit your pretty little ass down in a booth for twelve hours. So it seems to me you have something to say more than I do, so why don’t you spit it out already and leave?”

“I don’t take orders from you,” she sneered. How dare he speak to her that way? This wasn’t the Mon-El she knew, not the kind and gentle one that literally treated her like the apple of his eyes. But things change, right? And Mon-El definitely did.

“Well then, why don’t you sit down in that booth and let me finish my work if you have nothing to say?”

Kara huffed, she had cornered herself into a sticky situation. Damned if she did, damned if she didn’t. Her stupid ego had gotten her into this mess, and now there was no way out. She picked her poison and sat down in the booth and watched him continue to clean and re-arrange the lobby by stacking the chairs on top of each other. All the while, Kara thought about her new game plan. The clock ringing in her ears once more.

Tick. _Tock._ Tick. _Tock._ Tick. _Tock._

The more she thought about how she could attack him, the more befuddled by the situation she became. She hadn’t even given it a second thought as to why Mon-El was working in a diner. He was held two military positions before, was a sea captain, an ambassador, an engineer, and a stupid journalist…and now his new line of work was a bus boy server at a dingy diner? That made no sense. Kara wondered if she should shelve her anger for just a moment so she could ask him why? And how?

No. No, she couldn’t flatter. She came in here with a mission, and she was going to fulfil it. Maybe she could use his new found profession to rouse him, and maybe she will finally elicit the response she craved form him. Finally she could shout at him till her was heart was content. She didn’t want a one-sided argument where he could just take the insults she threw at him. No, she wanted him to try defend himself, she wanted him aggravated so when she delivered the final blow it would bring her satisfaction, and he would run away to lick his wounds while she could finally be free from what happened thirty years ago.

“So how is it working at this fine establishment?” her voice filled with malice, hoping he would respond and be caught in her trap and she could attack him like a rabid lioness, with accusations, and declarations and make him feel guilty about his actions.

“It pays the bills,” he responded simply, showing no hint of falling in her trap. Crap, she needed to find another way.

“And this is the line of work you picked? What happened to the brilliant mechanical engineering that was my one and only hope for getting off this planet?” she wanted to get under his skin, she wanted to provoke him. Just take the bait dammit!

But he kept continuing with his ministrations. He moved to turn off the neon red OPEN sign by the entrance, and then walked towards the cash register. Kara followed his movements with narrowed eyes, waiting for his response.

“Like I said, it plays the bills,” he said after a full two minutes. Mon-El was mulling over whether he should engage her or not. He picked the latter, and choose to repeat his previous answer.

Kara grumbled. But then she picked up on his murmuring – apparently he couldn’t hold his anger back either and the words flowed out his mouth and to Kara’s ear, “Thought she would be smart enough to know why…”

This was such a childish way to fight, words exchanged in hushed tones, each one trying to get the last word in, and trying to bait each other into a fight.

“Smart enough,” she stomped her away to the register. He would have known that she would pick up on whatever he said with her enhanced hearing so he clearly wanted her to respond, “What does that me?!”

“I think you know. Or at least the Kryptonian in you should know, right? Why don’t you sit down and give it another thought, huh? Maybe you might be able to figure out why I am working in the diner in the middle of Cape Canaveral Florida!?”

Fucking shit! The entire time she was trying to get him to take the bait, and here she was taking his bait. It had completely blown up in face and she hadn’t realized it until it was too late. But the argument had finally started, and at least that was a win.

“So why don’t you explain it to me huh? Since I am so dumb, stupid and too much of an idiot to understand,” her body was shaking with rage, and she was just waiting for the right moment to unleash it on him. But this wasn’t the right time, she needed to hold in a little while longer.

Mon-El slammed the cash register drawer shut, “Kara I know this isn’t what you want to talk about. So can you stop beating around the goddamn bush and get to the point, so I can get on with my life. You know, if that’s possible for you….”

“No! You started it, so why don’t you tell me what I don’t understand right now. Clearly I can’t understand it myself, so why don’t you help me?”

Kara knew that how immature this fight was getting. It reminded her of the arguments she and her cousin Kal would frequently get into, where they would shout anything and everything at each other until something finally stuck. And once something stuck, neither of them would move on until the argument got bigger and bigger and root of their problems was uncovered.

“Kara, I don’t have time for this,” he pinched the bridge of his nose.

Clearly, Mon-El was more evolved than Kara and her cousin were. Whereas they loved to egg on the fight, Mon-El was trying to diffuse it.

“You were the one to call me stupid, so don’t start something you can’t finish,” and then Kara murmured, “Although it seems to be a wonderful habit of yours.”

Again, with the words muttered under their breaths.

“Cape Canaveral, Florida, Kara? Where the goddamn Challenger is supposed to launch at the Kennedy Space Center. Ring any bells? This ‘brilliant mechanical engineering that was my one and only hope for getting off this planet’ is trying to keep his ears opens to learn how far these humans have progressed. And this ‘dingy diner’ is a lovely hangout for those scientists, and I even made friends with a couple of them. So now that you know why I lowered my standards and became a fucking server could you please leave? And the next time you see, I would appreciate it if you just walked in the other direction.”

Kara cowered away. She was an idiot. The reason she had picked Florida as her new location was because it was slowly becoming a hub for space exploration, and the second challenger was due for takeoff next month. That was the reason, well primary, reason why she had decided to settle in Florida. And if she hadn’t let her ego get in the way, she would have known that Mon-El was thinking the same. Her cheeks flushed red with embarrassed.

“Oh, and don’t worry. Once I get the right technology to fix our motherboards, I’ll find you. Cause unlike you, I like to keep my promises,” he remarked snidely.

All the embarrassment and humiliation she had felt a moment ago had vanished. His steel-gray eyes cut her like shards. The allegation that she wanted to make, the allegation that she was trying to build up to, he had said them. But what standing did he even have to say that? What promises did she even break? It was Mon-El who did the breaking, not her.

The rage built up in her again, “I don’t keep my promises? You’re the one to talk. You’re the one who broke his promise. Don’t try to make yourself the victim, when you really are the villain,” she seethed.

“Me? Me?” he asked shocked, “I kept my promise Kara. But you were too busy making money and getting fame to keep yours. Now I know what matters to you. Fame and fortune, so don’t worry, I’ll stay out of your path. ”

“What the hell does that mean!?” she yelled. Mon-El wasn’t even making sense. It was like he was trying to manipulate the entire conversation to his side, but she wasn’t going to allow that, “You’re the one you didn’t come back! You’re the one didn’t come back to me! You’re the one you didn’t keep your promise! I waited. For Rao’s sake, I waited for two years! Every day after the war ended I waited for you to come through those door. I waited to see again. I waited for your touch again. I WAITED! And you never came….for two years. I felt like an idiot, the most gullible naïve girl in the universe. You used me, and you never came back. And now, after all these years I can finally tell you how much you hurt me, how long it took for me to move on, and how there is this dulling pain in my heart, and you’re standing there saying was all my fault? How dare you!?”

Tick. _Tock._ Tick. _Tock._ Tick. _Tock._

“You really know how to paint yourself as a victim Kara. Bravo,” he clapped his hands, insulting her even further, “I never fulfilled my promise? The moment I got off that ship, the moment I came back to the States, I went to that small little club in the North Carolina port to see you. To hold you, to touch you, to kiss you again,” Kara’s breathe hitched, “To keep my promise. After months of not seeing you, after months of dreaming about you, I went back to the club to see that you weren’t even there Kara. You left. You were gone. So I thought, maybe you went to work somewhere else in town, maybe you found another job? Letters get lost in the war so many times, maybe I missed the one telling of your new profession. So like a fool I searched the entire city for you. I mean, how hard could it be to find a Kara Danvers. It was a unique enough name, right? For months I looked, and I came up empty handed. And then years later I heard of this beauty in New York City that was headlining for a popular club, and she had the most wonderful voice in the world, and her name was Kira Dixon. I didn’t even know that it was you until I saw your photo Kara! You had found money and fame and forgot me.”

 _Kira Dixon._ She had forgotten that when was ‘discovered’ in the small club in North Carolina, they had told her to ditch Kara Danvers for a different, stage appropriate name, and Kira Dixon was born. But if that was Mon-El’s explanation of the events, then he had lied to her. And once again was trying to manipulate the events in his favor.

“Don’t lie to me, Mon-El,” he was adding insult to injury. Taking pride in rubbing salt in her open wounds, and he thought she wouldn’t notice, “If you had really gone to the club we wouldn’t have been in this position.”

“Kara. I’m telling you the truth. And if you can’t handle your mistakes, I’m not here to coddle you. I don’t even know why you are even here? You left me, so why do even care anymore?”

“NO YOU DIDN’T! I didn’t leave you, YOU LEFT ME! If you had do gone to the club, like you claim you did, you would have found me!?”

“YOU WEREN’T THERE KARA! HOW WOULD I HAVE FOUND YOU?”

“I LEFT YOU A LETTER!”

Tick. _Tock._ Tick. _Tock._ Tick. _Tock._

“I left you a letter,” she whispered as the burden of her feelings that she had been carrying over the last thirty years tipped over, “I knew letters got lost in the mail. Sometimes you would respond to every third letter I sent you. I would go months without hearing a response and I didn’t want to risk telling you about my new job for it to only get lost in midst of the war. So I told the owner that when a Michael Matthews stops by, to give you the letter telling you where I was so you could find me again. But you never did, Mon-El,” her heart was shattering, and the dulling pain began to pulse red hot over her skin, and it felt like pins and needles all over. It had taken her years to glue herself back together, and now it was taking just minutes for her too fall apart again, “but you never did.”

“I never got a letter….”

Tick. _Tock._ Tick. _Tock._ Tick. _Tock._

Kara couldn’t breathe. _I never got a letter._ He never got a letter. He was lying again, he had to be lying again. No. No. No. His steel blue eyes looked softer now, his face less strained and his demeanor shifted to look like a defeated man: shoulder dropped, and head down. No. No. No. He was lying again. Lying. But his voice held such sincerity, and the change of his behavior told a different story. He wasn’t lying, he wasn’t the vile man she had painted him to be for thirty years. Her heart didn’t ache, she hadn’t felt so lost and broken because he had left her – no – it was because of lack of communicate. A small little mistake that had cost them both more than she could have imagined. It had cost them a life together.

All that hurt, rage, and pain that she had held onto for all these years, all of which fueled her to confront Mon-El, all of which gave her the courage to speak to him again, so she could finally lay it to rest felt so inconsequential, and disconcerting. She had nothing more to say. She had no more cards to play, no she didn’t even have a hand to begin with.

She had sat down in this diner holding onto something that wasn’t even real, and she lashed out at him. She had started it, she had accused him, she had ruined what they had. What was left now? At this moment, she wished the earth would open and swallow her whole because those soft steel blue eyes that help such contempt for were now melting, but she couldn’t face it. Not after humiliating herself like this. So she did the only she could think of, she turned to walk away.

She heard Mon-El shuffle behind her, “KARA WAIT,” his voice the most kind it had been all night. Definitely not pleasant, but there was no animosity, “don’t go.”

Kara gripped the handle of the door tightly, thinking whether she should stop and hash things out and fix what was broken. Oh Rao, she really wanted to fix everything.

Tick. _Tock._ Tick. _Tock._ Tick. _Tock._

She opened the door and walked out, ignoring Mon-El calling after her.

Her heart was screaming at her to turn around and walk back through that door. It was tugging, pulling at her, but her mind wouldn’t listen. After that entire debacle it was ashamed, mortified and she didn’t have the courage to turn around and face him. The anger she had held onto for thirty years taunted her now. She had acted like a fool, duped by her own emotions. So she continued walking, and after she was clear of that one yellow car in the parking lot, the tears began to pool out of her eyes and she super sped away, without even looking back.

She tried to zone in her ears to listen into what Mon-El was saying – if he was saying anything — in the diner but all her ears could focus on was the rackety clock that was hung being the counter on the pasty off-white wall.

Tick. _Tock._ Tick. _Tock._ Tick. _Tock._

She was too afraid to listen, she lacked the bravery, the valor to face the consequences. How do you move past a thirty year old grudge, one that she instigated?

 _Coward_ , her heart yelled. Yes, she was a coward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys like it! As always - please ignore mistakes and an edited on will be posted soon
> 
> Idk if you guys have ever held a grudge before, especially a long one, but after you realize you were wrong and holding onto nothing the guilt and shame you feel is so suffocating, and i basically amplified it for Kara because she is an immortal had lived through it for longer than we mere mortals do. 
> 
> At the end of every chapter i imagine Rao face-palming himself because he constantly has to intervenes for these two imbeciles to get together and they still dont understand. Poor Fate and Destiny have to work overtime for these two to finally come together. 
> 
> ONE CHAPTER LEFT GUYS! (remember when i said i started writing the final chapter. Well, i lied... so it might take a week to post the final part.. sorry)


	8. Year 2017

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to apologize for the delay in updating...it has been really busy, and when i had downtime i was just super lazy.  
> @juliakaze Thank you so so much for making these aesthetics, and being so sweet and patient. It was so nice collaborating on this project with you <33
> 
> I really hope you guys like the last chapter of the story, i spent a lot of time on it. 
> 
> This chapter is slightly inspired by the song For the First Time by The Script.

**YEAR 2017**

**LOCATION: WASHINGTON**

“Kara it’s going to be fine, trust me. She wouldn’t have recommended him if she didn’t think he was worthy of you,” Alex pleaded to Kara, trying desperately to get Kara into a better mood. But despite Alex’s attempt to stroke her ego, Kara responded with a groan and huffed away.

It was a bright and sunny day in National City, the streets were bustling with people, some trying to enjoy the beauty of the calm and serene day, and others trying to maneuver their way in-between the crowds of people to get to whatever job, appointment, work, or meeting they had. Kara was dragging her feet across the pavement, forcing herself to go very slow, and hope that by the time Alex and her reached the pizzeria, it would be too late. Kara was one of those people the busy worker would be maneuvering around, since Kara’s snail like pace was infuriating to people on a time crunch.

But Alex was not having it, and saw past Kara’s tactic, “Kara we are going there whether you like it or not. You promised!” Alex’s eyes narrowed on her, and the stern and mean Alex broke through, and Kara felt guilty. She had promised, she just didn’t think Alex was going to follow through on her side of the promise. Just her luck.

“Fine,” Kara moaned in defeat, “I’ll go to this stupid double blind date. But if he is an ass, or anything he does ticks me off, I am leaving. I don’t care.”

Kara laid out her conditions, and Alex was contemplating whether they were agreeable terms. Silence engulfed them as they both held their ground, and mulled over the possibilities. Kara crossed her arms across her chest to signal to Alex that she wasn’t going to change her terms, and it was a ‘take it or leave it’ type of offer.

“Fine,” Alex gritted.

“Good,” Kara lightened up and gave a curt nod, “Now let’s go see if this guy is really ‘worthy of me’.”

Kara giggled, and the tension dissipated from the atmosphere. Alex joined in, more so laughing at her own word choice than the implication of whether this guy would be ‘worthy of Kara’.

“And if I say cheesecake, we need to make an excuse to leave,” Kara wrapped her arm around Alex’s and they continued to walk down the crowded street.

“What?”

“Cheesecake. It’s my signal. If I don’t like him, and I want to leave and I am going to say cheesecake and we are going to get the hell out of there,” Kara further explained, slightly shocked that Alex didn’t understand the concept of a signal word.

“Cheesecake?”

“Cheesecake.”

“Okay… Why cheesecake?”

“I hate cheesecake Alex, and I would never willingly talk about it. So if I say cheesecake it means I being forced into an awkward situation and I must be rescued. And you Alex, are going to rescue me from this blind date.”

Alex took a second to process everything Kara had said, and then full on cackled. Strangers on the street even took a double take on Alex, who was bent over laughing like a mad woman.

“Kara, sometimes you are just a little too extra,” she muttered out between breaths of laughter.

“Extra? I am taking precautions so I don’t have to suffer the company of a potential ass,” Kara was not amused that Alex was mocking her, “So stop laughing at me!”

“Okay…okay,” Alex heaved as she tried to level off her breathing by taking in big gulps of air, “Sorry. Come on lets go.”

She wrapped her arms around Kara’s, and they were off again, heading towards the dreaded pizzeria. How did she even end up on a blind date? Oh Rao, she didn’t expect Alex to actually set her up. Honestly, when Alex offered to set her up after she had playfully said she wanted a love life like hers – she had jokingly said yes – not at all expecting Alex to remember the offer, or actually follow through.

Alas, Alex was true to her word, and had set Kara up with someone. When she first talked about the blind date, Kara was dumbfounded. It was a joke. She was kidding, her words weren’t meant to be taken seriously. The playful joke was to mask Kara’s contempt for the perfect life Alex had managed to carve for herself while Kara had been struggling for almost three hundred years. Alex had everything figured out, from her job to her love life, and Kara envied that, and while she was jesting about wanting Alex’s perfect love life, Kara was secretly wishing for a certain someone to return to hers and make it whole again. Not some new individual. Her heart belonged to another, and it might have taken her years to deduce that, and perhaps some divine interventions by Rao’s hand, but she knew her true happiness, and heart beated for someone else.

But she planned on going through withh this charade for Alex, and she was definitely going to cash in on her cheesecake signal about twenty minutes into the date. There was no point in fooling around with this guy when she knew it wouldn’t go anywhere.

They arrived at a quaint, hole in the wall pizzeria. The door jingled when Alex opened it, and she was pulled into the quieter ambience than the one that roared on outside on the streets of National City. Quiet chatter can be heard from the individual tables, the swift shuffling of the wait staff, and the mixing of drinks from behind the bar, and the rumble of whatever sport was being displayed behind the bar counter. The small restaurant was packed, but the vibe was calm and relaxed. Alex was eyeing each table trying to locate theirs, apparently her blind date had already arrived.

Kara groaned internally – this was going to be long day.

Alex abruptly jumped besides her, and waved her hand in the air excitingly. She immediately grabbed Kara’s free hand and dragged her across the restaurant whilst maneuvering around the tables. Kara was trying to locate the table Alex had spotted, but she remained unsuccessful, and allowed herself to man-handled.

Kara collided into Alex, when she abruptly stopped in front of the table. The collision had knocked Kara’s glasses, and she muttered how careless Alex was while she rearranged her specs but stopped shy of adjusting her glasses on her nose when her line of sight settled upon her blind date. 

The world stopped spinning. The cosmos stopped expanding.

Time stopped.

The moment consumed Kara, and she couldn’t look, think, _exist_ past it. Kara’s voice was caught in her throat, and it felt like she couldn’t breathe, and her heart was pounding against her skin ready to burst. Staring at him both calmed her nerves and set them on fire.

Mon-El, her mind echoed.

Emotions escalated: reverence, wonderment, shock, disbelief, and pure unadulterated happiness. But she couldn’t tell which emotion was winning, her mind was a whirlwind, and she was in the eye of the storm taking in the beautiful tempest that was engulfing her.

Her tempest was his eyes, which were boring back at her with equal intensity. Although, she couldn’t tell all the emotions that were brewing behind his steel blue eyes, but whatever the emotions he was feeling, she felt one being emitted at her: joy. The joy he was oozing, with his beaming smile, warm demeanor, and soft eyes, quelled the worry that was growing in her for over thirty years.

Mon-El was alive.

Alive.

She had a million questions to ask him, and the storm grew larger and stronger as she got swept in a gale of emotions. Where did he go? Why did he go? What happened? Did he leave her? Was it on purpose? Why? _Why?_ She needed to know what exactly transpired between them, and why he had abruptly left her – again. What could make him do that?

No. No, she wasn’t going to judge him, she wasn’t going to assume anything. Assumptions, half-truths, and jumped conclusions have never benefited her before, they only worsened the situations. Going head-strong in with a quick temper, and slow mind had proved ruinous to their relationship. Not once, but twice has her hot-headedness led to rash decisions and unwarranted fights. Situations that could have been easily diffused if she was able to calmly and rationally think without letting her temper and half-assed assumptions get in the way.

She would patiently await for his explanation, his side of events, his point of view, and then she will ascertain, with hopefully a calm head, whether she had the right to be upset or angered by his actions. There are always two sides to a coin, there are always two sides to a story, and she will remained unbiased until she heard him tell his take. She isn’t going to make the mistake again of ignoring the other side of the coin.

But her mind couldn’t help but wander off, and wonder about all the possibly scenarios that could explain his sudden disappearance. Everything was perfect, everything was going well…right?

********

_It took a week for Kara to finally digest everything that had happened in that diner. A full week. After she ran away from him, she had contemplated his words, and the harsh exchange they had. Who was really at fault? It definitely wasn’t either of them, all that had happened was circumstantial. It was fate, and Kara had learned on her time of Earth, that no one can escape fate. But she had jumped to conclusions, and had taken only her situation into account. That he had left her, and she held onto that idea for years. And when it all came crumbling down, she realized that she was the only one to blame for the grudge she had held. She could have walked into the diner and had an open and honest conversation with him._

_They could have talked, and everything could have been avoided. Instead of sitting alone in her home, she would have been sitting with Mon-El and catching up and rekindling their lost relationship. But no, she had let her pride and ego get in the way, and he wasn’t exactly welcoming, and everything was ruined._

_And now a week later, she knew she had to mend the burned bridge, she needed to fix what was broken no matter how long it would take._

_The first week she just stood outside the diner, hidden behind the trees and shrubbery. Although she wanted to remedy everything, she still lacked the courage to face him. So she stood before the diner waiting for that one shot of courage that would embolden her to walk into the diner. Just one impulsive thought of ‘of course I can just walk into the diner and face him. I am brave enough’, but it never came so she left defeated by her own moral._

_The next week, she stood outside the diner once again and awaited for that impulsive thought. She waited for hours. She watched him bustled around in the diner, she watched him chat up customers, clean up tables, all while smiling and laughing. The desire to see him, the desire to seek forgiveness, the desire to start anew wasn’t enough to convince her frightened mind that going in there wouldn’t only cause her more embarrassment and pain. She left defeated once more._

_The third week was different. The third week the impulse came._

_She was about to reach the second hour of watching Mon-El working, when he abruptly looked out the window towards her. Not even towards, right at her. It was like his eyes were boring out the window and right at her, and Kara couldn’t pinpoint exactly how or why. It was like he felt her presence, and his eyes gravitated to hers. Perhaps he honed in onto her heartbeat, but Kara didn’t know. But the moment he looked at her, her heart jumped, and that impulsive thought echoed into her mind._

_She was brave enough. She could do this._

_After shaking off her nerves, she made her way into the diner and settled into the same booth she was sitting in before. Mon-El looked shocked when he saw her, but immediately masked his emotions and plastered a smile on his face, which looked completely genuine._

_He made his way to her, “What can I get you Kara?”_

_His velvety voice, and soft expression eviscerated her strength and valor. She couldn’t think past how sincere he was being, and her mind became a jumbled mess. She bolted out of the diner, leaving a stunned and worried Mon-El behind._

_Why was he so sweet to her after everything? Why?_

_The next week, after she recuperated from her embarrassing stint, she returned to the diner, and sat in the same booth. He approached her timidly, afraid he was going to scare her again._

_“What can I get you Kara?”_

_She didn’t respond, but pulled out a box wrapped up with a pretty blue bow and handed it to him._

_He questioned the gift, but she just replied with a, “Just open it.”_

_She made her way out the diner, and zoned in on him with her enhanced hearing. She heard him gasp, and murmur, “Of course, and thank you Kara.”_

_He knew she would listening for his response. Kara felt relief wash over her. She was one step closer to fixing everything. She had gifted him a mug with a small message attached to it. ‘Can we start over? Please.’ The mug was meant as a peace offering, to replace the one she had thrown at him. The mug had shattered, just like their relationship. And this new mug signaled a new leaf, or least the turning of an old one. It was symbolic, she guessed. But Mon-El had understood and appreciated the gift, and that was all that mattered._

_She didn’t wait another week to return to the diner. Nope, she went there the next day and sat down in the same booth and waited for him. She had been imbued with a new moral, and new optimism. Mon-El came and sat down in front of her, handing her a coffee mug, and keeping one for himself. The mug he was using was the one she had gifted him, and the simple gesture warmed her._

_‘Won’t you get in trouble for sitting with me?”_

_He chuckled, “Fifteen minute break. Plus, Megan adores me. She would never yell at me,” he shoot her mischievous winked._

_“Right,” she giggled._

_The start of that conversation was the end of their troubles. They didn’t seek forgiveness from each other, it was silent acceptance that they were both at fault and it was better to move past it then dwell on it._

_They chatted for those fifteen minutes like old friends catching up, and rekindling their lost relationship. It was like they meeting for the first time again, and were taking baby steps to mend their broken hearts, and burned bridges._

_It slowly became a ritual. Kara would come into the diner, maybe twice or thrice a week, and they sit in that crusty red booth while he was on break, and just talked. Just talked. They caught up, the joked like old friends, they laughed about the inventions and machines that Earthlings only managed to create, they talked about Krypton and Daxam again. Sometimes he wouldn’t be able to go on break because the diner was busy, so she happily watched him serve customers. He was always so friendly with everyone, but Kara could see the intentions of some of his customers. Girls would always chat with him a little more, would bat their eyes, give sultry smiles, touch him if possible, and give him extra tips._

_The green-eyed monster made a come-back. Sure they were starting as friends again, but it didn’t mean all the emotions and feelings that Kara had for him disappeared. Nope. And when these girls lingered on him, her blood boiled. He might not technically be hers right now, but he was going to be, and she felt like lioness trying to mark her territory. All she wanted to do was go up to him and kiss him in front of them. A dirty kiss to make them back-off. But she couldn’t do that, so she resorted to seething in the booth and letting the green monster grow, and hoped that they would become more than friends…soon._

_“So you can cook now?”_

_“I am a Master Chef Kara, not a cook!”_

_“Right, of course. So Master Chef, didn’t you burn bread in the brick oven in 1903? I do vaguely remember them clearly the kitchen because the smoke consumed the entire room.”_

_“That was an honest mistake!” Mon-El moaned, horrified that Kara would remember that incident, and would actually bring it up._

_“Mistake!? That was the second loaf of bread you burned?”_

_“Okay, so it was pattern. But a genuine mistake. And I have learned a lot in a hundred years, and cooking is just one of those things. I make the best lasagna, and bacon,” he proudly exclaimed._

_“Lasagna sounds amazing right now. Look what you did! Now I am craving lasagna.”_

_“Tell you what, you come over to my house tonight, and I will make you lasagna, and you can watch me cook, and eat my delicious food. It’s a win-win-win.”_

_“Deal.”_

_Although Kara had kept a straight face during the entire conversation, her heart was pounding._

_After dinner at his house, their relationship evolved. She inseminated herself into his life, and she fit perfectly like a missing jig-saw puzzle. She became fast friends with Winn and Lena, frequently having dinner at their house with Mon-El. Sometimes, Jon and Megan would show up, and it was like they made themselves an odd perfect family._

_Slowly but surely, her dynamic with Mon-El changed, they would move in sync with each other, like a push and pull, an ebb and flow. There were little things at first, the constant brushing on their shoulders, the longing gazes, the long nights spent talking. But then Mon-El would skim his hands against hers, and then the next time, he was holding her hand like it was no big deal and they did it every day. His arm would always settle at her waist, and he would pull her near. She would cuddle into him when they sat on the sofa, and always find an excuse to touch him. They never explicitly said they were dating, or in a relationship – they had lived through three hundred years of drama, and labels no longer concerned them._

_The first time they actually talked about their relationship was when they were babysitting Megan and Jon’s kids. They were snuggled together on the couch, watching the kids play on the carpet when Kara desire for a family sparked. On Krypton, she had dreamed about marriage, and in those dreams she had a house full of children as well. She never thought it was plausible with her being marooned on Earth, but now she had Mon-El and her dream was suddenly in reach. Who needed a birthing matrix, especially since she had such a loving partner._

_“Would you ever want kids?” Mon-El asked._

_She deliberated whether she should answer truthfully or not. She wanted kids, but she wanted his kids, but she didn’t how Mon-El would react to that. It took a while before she settled onto an answer, “Yes…”_

_“Yes…? It seems like there is a ‘but’ somewhere in there,” he chuckled._

_“But…but.”_

_“Come on Kara, just spit it out.”_

_“Butionlywantkidsifitswithyou,” she muttered out quickly that the sentence sounded like one word. Mon-El looked shocked, he was not expecting that, “Please say something?” Kara cowered away, scared that she went one step too far. She laid a hand on his cheek, “Please say something. Anything”_

_“I just…I didn’t expect,” he took a deep breathe, “Kara. I didn’t expect you say that. I don’t think I deserve that. Rao, I want to be with you in every way possible, I just didn’t know you would feel the same.”_

_“It’s always been you silly. It’s always been you for the last hundred years, and for the next hundred. And even after that. It’s always been you. Even if we were a little too daft to realize it sooner.”_

_“It’s always been you as well Kara.”_

_Kara leaned up towards him, and he brushed her hair to the side, and cupped her cheek and swiped his finger across her bottom lip, and gently brushed his lips against hers. This was their first kiss since World War 2, and she was getting intoxicated by his slow, precise movements. He captured her lips, and Kara felt herself falling away, enraptured by his torturous pace. Kara lightly bit his bottom lip, trying to tell him to stop torturing her, and he followed suit, and the languid kiss turned a little fierce with Kara was fighting for dominance._

_“Ewwwww…,” the kids gagged, and Kara and Mon-El pulled apart laughing._

_After that evening, things shifted once more. Kara basically moved into his apartment, and had become a constant pillar in his life. They had become an old married couple, without the marriage. Waking up together, cooking breakfast for each other in the morning, talking about their day at dinner, watching TV together, going out on dates and more. They fell into a rhythm, and Kara prayed to Rao that she would never have to leave it. She loved him, with every breath, every fiber of her being, she loved him. His goofy smile, his cheeky jokes, his adoring smile, and his comforting presence. She never thought she would have fallen in love with a Daxamite, but her she was completely ubiquitously in love with him. She was fool to realize that so late, it had taken her a hundred years to realize why she sought out his company so much, why her heart fluttered when she would see him, and why losing him hurt her so deeply._

_She just needed to find the right moment to tell him that she loved him, and she waited for the perfect opportunity, but she waited too long._

_It was just one random Thursday, nothing special about it. Mon-El had to work the late-shift and close the diner, so Kara wasn’t worried when he didn’t come home at night. The next morning she was greeted with an empty bed, and although she was perplexed, she was able to rationalize the situation: maybe he had another morning shift today, maybe he was covering for someone. But then he didn’t show up in the evening, and Kara called Megan frantically, worry finally setting in. Her mind jumped to the worst case scenario, he was shot with a lead bullet and was probably injured, afraid, and slowly dying alone somewhere. The worry finally cemented into fear when Megan told her she hadn’t seen him all day._

_She searched for him throughout the city, she called all his friends, but there was no sign of him. It was like he vanished without a trace. Weeks…months went by, and he never returned, and no clue about his whereabouts could be found. It was like he disappeared from their lives._

_Everything was perfect, everything was going well….right? So why? Why did he leave? They were so close to happiness, and once again she lost it all. Why?_

********

So many questions that needed to be answered. But she wouldn’t judge him before hearing his side, there must have been a really good reason as to why he left. Right? There just had to be, and Kara was going to hold onto that belief until she was proven otherwise. And despite her urge to demand answers, another desire was stronger.

She just wanted to pull him to a hug, she wanted to smell his musk, she wanted to snuggle herself into his embrace, and she wanted to kiss him, she wanted to touch him, she wanted feel him.

No…she didn’t _want_ any of these things. She _needed_ them. And looking at him, it looked like he wanted to do the same. The same desire that flamed on in her, Kara could see in his eyes. They both wanted nothing more than be with each other, to _feel_ each other.

“Maggie!” Alex shattered Kara’s moment. She fell back into the real world, and she realized she wasn’t alone with Mon-El, rather she was in a crowded restaurant.

She took in her environment again, like she just woke up from a dream. Maggie was sitting next to Mon-El. The wheels began to churn. Maggie was sitting next Mon-El. Mon-El was sitting next Maggie. There was only one explanation for that seating arrangement.

Mon-El was her blind date.

“This is Mike,” she introduced him.

Mon-El coughed, and outstretched his hand to Kara, “Mike. Mike Matthews.”

“Kara. Kara Danvers,” she managed to choke out without her voice betraying her.

“Alex,” Alex smirked, amused by Kara being so flustered, “Alex Danvers. But not related.”

They settled into their seats, and Kara couldn’t look away from Mon-El. If that meant Alex was going to tease her relentless, so be it.

Silence encompassed them, and it was awkward all over. Maggie and Alex kept waiting for Kara and Mike to talk, but they just stared at each other. Kara wanted to talk badly, but everything she wanted to say, she couldn’t say in front Alex and Maggie. She gently nudged Alex and gave her pointed look, and she was relieved that Alex got the hint.

“Maggie how about we go the bar and order some drinks for the table?” in return Alex gave Maggie the same pointed look.

“Right! Of course. You must be thirsty Kara. Beer Mike?”

“Ya, ummm. Thanks Maggie. Beer sounds good,” Mon-El finally broke away from looking at her.

“Kara?” Maggie asked.

“Club Soda please.”

“Perfect! We’ll be back,” Alex yelled as they walked over to the bar, and finally let them be alone.

Once again, silence. Kara now had the freedom to say what she wanted, but she didn’t know how.

“I missed you,” he spoke solemnly, cutting the tension.

Kara breathed a sigh of relief. He missed her, therefore he must have a very good reason to leave her. He wouldn’t just waltz out of her life, their shared life, if she meant something to him.

Kara closed her eyes, “I missed you too,” she felt tears pool in her eyes, and she caught one before it trickled down her cheek, “I missed you so much.”

“Hey, hey. Look at me Kara. Look at me,” he reached for her hand across the table, “Kara, look at me.”

She blinked the tears away, and faced him, “Sorry for crying.”

“You have nothing to be sorry about,” he rubbed his thumb across her hand, “nothing at all.”

“Why?”

He sighed, “Kara –”

“Why Mon-El?”

She didn’t need to elaborate her question, she didn’t need to further explain. He knew exactly what she asking. Why did he leave?

“Kara not right now please. I’ll promise to tell you everything later. Later, I promised,” she saw a flicker of sadness before he composed himself again.

“I promise I am not going to judge you, or jump to any conclusions. Whatever the reason, it must have been a good one. I am going to listen to what you have to say. I promise Mon-El. I promise.”

“Kara I know you will. But later. Please,” he implored, his voice weak and defeated, “Later.”

She could wait. Hopefully. She waited almost thirty years for the reason, she could manage to wait a three more hours.

“So…Alex?” he asked.

“What about Alex?” Kara had sneaking suspicion that he was trying to change the subject because he didn’t want to dwell on his disappearance anymore. It sparked more curiosity in her, but she had to trust him to tell her the full story later. She had to put trust in him to be honest, so she allowed the conversation to be switched.

“Alex…Alex Danvers? That has to more than a coincidence,” of course he picked up on that. The chance of her being friends with someone who also has the last name Danvers was stacked against her.

“What? It’s nothing…”

“Kara, you are crinkling.”

She blushed, “I am not!”

“You are too!” he pointed towards her forehead, indicating the creases that were crinkling, “Right there.”

She swatted his hand away, “Okay, shut up! I’ll tell you, but promise me you won’t think I am creepy or anything.”

“Kara why would I think you are creepy?”

“Promise?” she asked him seriously.

“Okay. Promise,” he seemed earnest in his promise, so Kara took a deep breath and continued.

“Do you remember Elizabeth and Jeremiah Danvers? My first adoptive parents. Well, really my only adoptive parents,” Mon-El nodded, “Well, I have tracked their lineage across the years. Just to keep an eye on them, making sure they were safe,” this really did sound creepy, “and few years back, when I went to check up on them, Alex… Alex looks like Jeremiah. Like a carbon copy. And I just couldn’t help myself. I was so lonely after you left, and then Megan, Jon, Winn and Lena. They all moved on, and I was just stuck. And she reminded me Jeremiah and Elizabeth, and I wanted to feel that happiness again. So chance encounter led to friendship…and I don’t think I could ever let that go. She filled a void. She is like a sister to me…. Please don’t think this is creepy. Please.”

“Kara, I understand. After these many years on Earth, I understand wanting to be in company of people that you care about, having something to live for. I understand.”

How could she have doubted him? He was the only other person on this planet who could share, and relate to her woos, so it was rather foolish of her too think he wouldn’t understand. She wiped away her tears, and hoped to change the subject to something more cheerful.

“So Maggie? How’d you meet her? She doesn’t seem like the socializing type.”

“Maggie. Ya, she is a regular at the bar I work at. She usually just chats with me during the downtime, and kinda is the unofficial bouncer of the bar. She just came in one day and demanded that I go on this blind date. Apparently her girlfriend had given her task of finding a guy, and she forgot so I was a last minute substitute. Not really great friends with her, but she looked ready to throw a punch if I said no, so I agreed,” he chuckled.

Of course Alex pawned the date responsibility off to someone else. She would have been livid if not that this cosmos seemed to conspiring to get her and Mon-El together again. Rao’s plan continues to weave its tale.

“Order up!” Maggie and Alex finally returned and placed the drinks onto the table, “We ordered the pizzas as well, hope you don’t mind.”

“No worries.” “No problem.” Mon-El and Kara said respectively.

“So how’s it going?” Alex cheerfully stated, trying to read the room and hoping that this impromptu blind date was faring well.

Kara blushed involuntarily, causing Alex’s grin to grow. Alex was going to rub the success of the date in her face, Kara just knew it.

“You remember our first date Danvers?”

“Oh God, how could I forget it?” Alex looked visibly embarrassed, and Kara had to know the details so she could have some leverage against her, “Maggie takes me to a date…to a fight club.”

“Fight club?” Kara gasped. This was definitely going to be an interesting story. She looked over to Mon-El who was equally intrigued, but also was trying to suppress his laughter.

“Yup. A fight club. Apparently it was hitting two birds with one stone. She had an undercover assignment, and she scheduled our date the same night, so she thought ‘Why not combine them? Nothing could possibly go wrong?’ I thought she was into some weird things the first half of our date. Thank God it was just an undercover assignment.”

“But did you have a good time Danvers?”

“Maggie…” Alex groaned.

“Don’t lie to me. You were practically betting on the fights yourself, and gorging yourself. I swear you ate like twenty macaroons.”

“It wasn’t twenty,” getting red from further embarrassment.

“No it was like forty. Your right,” Maggie teased her more.

“Fine I liked the date. Happy!”

“That’s what I liked to hear!”

“Speaking of desserts, does anyone want cheesecake later?” Alex threw Kara a sly wink, and all Kara wanted to smack Alex in the face. She wasn’t subtle at all.

“Kara doesn’t like cheesecake,” Mon-El responded immediately, like it was second nature.

Maggie and Alex were mystified, that must have been one hell of a talk when they left to get drinks. Kara glared at Mon-El, silently communicating ‘fix this now’.

“Right, Kara was telling…before you came back. Right before,” he stammered, “Kara was telling me after you left to get drinks at the bar that she wanted to eat some desserts after the pizza. Right Kara? That was what you were telling me,” Kara nodded her head with fake enthusiasm, and was mentally imagining herself strangling Mon-El for taking so long to come up with a lie, “And I suggested cheesecake and she said…Kara said she didn’t like cheesecake. Which is why I know Kara doesn’t like cheesecake,” he finished with a declaration, and looked at Kara seeking approval for his horrible lie.

Kara just rolled her eyes and waited for Alex and Maggie to accept Mon-El’s lie as a fact, “Right. Ya. I forgot that Kara doesn’t like cheesecake. Right Kara no cheesecake,” Alex gave her a pointed look.

“No Alex, I am perfectly fine. I don’t like cheesecake, but I can make an exception this time. Okay,” hoping she would get the hint.

“Well I guess we might have some cheesecake later. If that’s okay with you guys,” Alex announced with enthusiasm.

Maggie and Mon-El quietly nodded their heads. Both were rather puzzled by the sudden fascination with cheesecake, and why they both enunciated and articulated that word only in their sentence, but it was easier to not question what happened, and just agree.

The table soon erupted into loud chatter, they picked up conversation and dropped many more. Maggie and Alex constantly gave facts about Kara and Mon-El to each other, trying to be good hosts, and they politely accepted the ‘new’ information. But everything was getting to Kara slowly, and despite the sheer glee and cheerfulness of the date, she suddenly felt like she couldn’t breathe.

After seeing him, it just felt like one thing after another, and she hadn’t had a moment to consume it all in. She saw him, she asked for answers, she didn’t get any answers, and now they were laughing and making conversation like the last thirty years never happened.

It was too much for Kara to bare anymore, it felt like the weight of the world was baring down on her, and slowly suffocating her. She just needed a damn second, a millisecond to breathe. Too tell her mind that is was going to be okay. She excused herself to bathroom, hoping to find some silence and she could finally absorb and fully digest what happened.

She slammed the door shut of the single bathroom, not even bothering to lock it. She was a heaving mess, and the shallow breathes were making her lightheaded. Her head was pounding against her skull, and she could hear the blood pulsing in her veins, the birds chirping across the street, the sounds of engines and honks, and sports channel was blasting in her eardrum. All she wanted to do was concentrate and just fucking breathe, but her body was shaking and on the verge of becoming a mess when she heard the sound of the door click open behind her.

She turned around in a fury, and tried to see the intruder, but all she could see was black spots. Breathe Kara, just fucking breathe.

“Kara.”

Mon-El, it was Mon-El.

She shut her eyes, hoping that it would somehow stop the sounds that was resonating in her ears, but if clamping her hands on her ears didn’t help, shutting her eyes was just another futile attempt.

“Kara.” His voice was closer, and she could feel his breathe on her.

“Mon-El, make it stop,” she pleaded quietly, her own voice wreaking havoc on her ears, “make it stop.”

“Kara, Kara listen to my voice,” he whispered, his voice soothing and washing over her sense, “listen to my voice.”

He gripped her hands that were held air tight against her ears, and slowly started to lower them, “Concentrate on my voice. Nothing else, but my voice.”

Kara tried to zone in on his voice, imaging it like a target, but her mind was too disheveled and her senses snapped back and all the sounds came flooding back and she screamed and clamped her ears shut again, “It hurts Mon-El. It hurts.”

“Okay, okay,” Kara could sense his desperation, “How about this Kara, listen to my heart,” he had to pry a hand off her ear, and placed it over his heart, “Listen to this. Listen to beat. Focus on the heartbeat.”

She could hear the echo of his heart thump, along with the countless other sounds that were booming. But with each heartbeat, _thump thump thump_ , she heard the other sounds slowly drown out and falter away. _Thump thump thump_ , and she felt like she could think again, like she could breathe. _Thump thump thump._

She collapsed on his frame, and he caught her, and caressed his hair all while murmuring soothing things. ‘It’s going to okay Kara.’ ‘Nothing is going to happen.’ ‘I’m not going to let anything happen.’ ‘I’m right here.’ ‘Not going anywhere.’

And with each statement, she felt more in control of her body, and she could get a grasp on reality. She looked up at him, ready to thank him, but his stormy blue eyes were so somber and all she wanted to do was kiss the pain away. So she reached up and gently brushed her lips across his, and when he didn’t pull back she took it as signal that this was okay, and was about to capture his lips when a knock jostled them out both out their cocooned sanctuary.

Another string of knocks came, “Kara?” shit it was Alex, “Kara? Are you okay?” 

This entire situation was eerily reminiscent of another time they were locked in a bathroom, but there wasn’t a little girl outside the door who could be easily manipulated with lies. No, it was Alex. And getting out of this situation was going to take a lot more than spewing white lies.

“What do we do?” Kara whispered.

“Ummm…how about you open the door and distract her? And I’ll super-sped away. They think I am making a phone call, so I’ll just return to the table a few minutes later.”

“Ya. Ya, I think that might work,” she agreed to the plan, despite being unsure if she could actually manage to distract Alex, “Okay, go hide behind the door and I’ll open it.”

They quickly got into positon. Mon-El at the wall where the door would open towards, and Kara’s hands on the doorknob. She took a deep breathe, trying to steady herself once more before she left this odd asylum she had created for herself in this dusty old bathroom with Mon-El.

“You okay Kara?”

He was still concerned, afraid that she might fall apart again, but Kara nodded her head confidently. Mind over matter, mind over matter, she chanted to herself.

“Alex?” she acted surprised when she opened the door, and immediately, and rather forcefully, dragged Alex towards the dining area and away from the bathroom, “Did you need to use the bathroom?”

“No, I just wanted to check up on you. You were taking so long in the bathroom, and I was worried you were trying to escape from a window or something.”

Kara saw a Mon-El flash by from her peripheral and relief washed over her. Crisis averted.

“Alex. Trust me. Everything is going fine. He is… I like… The date is going fine.”

Alex sniggered, “You like him.”

“Noooo,” she said unconvincingly.

“You totally do Kara. You are blushing,” Alex teased.

“Blushing doesn’t mean anything.”

“Right…of course it doesn’t.”

“Alex,” Kara groaned.

“Kara,” Alex mocked her.

Mon-El emerged from the front door, and settled into his chair as Kara and Alex approached the table. He shot her a wink, and a grin, clearly happy that their plan had worked out. Although she had calmed down significantly, and was no longer feeling anxious and hyper, her emotions hadn’t completely mellowed out. She was a little panicked and jittery, and Mon-El seemed to be the only noticing her disheveled appearance, and grasped her free hand under the table, and drew soothing circles with his thumb reassuring her that everything was going to be okay, and he was there. The new contact ricocheted through her body, settling down all her hyperactive nerves, and applying a balm on them. And little by little, the restless, overwhelming emotional whirlwind that was raging in her cleared up, and she felt like she could survive the rest of the evening without her bottled up feelings spilling over.

By the time the night came to a close, Kara was getting impatient. As much as she loved Alex, she just wanted to spend some time with Mon-El, alone. After they finished paying their check, Kara was bouncing off the walls getting ancy to leave. They stood outside the pizzeria, saying their goodbyes.

“Well that was a lovely evening, and seems like you guys are getting along. Hopefully there will be a date number two,” Alex commented, “Looks like a picked the perfect guy.”

“You picked the perfect guy? I am pretty sure it was Maggie who did the picking, and it was half-assed picking. Random guy from the bar you hang out it, a little impersonal don’t you think,” Kara joked.

“I don’t see you complaining Kara. All I saw was lovey-dovey eyes tonight, so random dude from a bar was a perfect match,” Maggie countered.

“That was just luck.”

“Luck, or fate?”

Fate. Rao, fate definitely did have a hand, but Maggie just didn’t know the full extension of its influence. Fate has been spinning its tale for centuries, and hopefully it will finally come to fruition.

“Luck, fate, or coincidence. I don’t care. All I know is that I have an early shift at the hospital tomorrow, and if I am not there on time I can definitely foresee a yelling from my chief resident in my future, and that will not be a coincidence. So I am going to call it a night love birds,” Alex interjected, she waved and beamed a proud smile at Kara before she dragged Maggie down the street with her, “Goodnight!” they both yelled, “And use protection,” Maggie added before they turned the corner.

“Mine or yours,” he whispered while he took her hand into his.

“Mine’s close.”

Honestly, she didn’t know what to expect when they got to her loft, and that both excited and frightened her. After the evening she just had, another mystery wasn’t the best thing for her mental health, but if he was going to be there with her, she would be able to weather the storm.

********

The keys were shaking in her hand, and she struggled to unlock her door with Mon-El’s watchful gaze. Rao, his silence and taunt expression was setting her skin on fire and shattered her concentration. She couldn’t even get the damn key in the hole with the intensity of his presence. He was standing so close behind her, their bodies practically flush, and all she wanted to do was get into her apartment but her mind was lost in his touch for her to open a door.

“Kara,” his voice sultry and further ruining her senses, “let me help.”

He reached over and steadied her hand, and helped her unlocked the door. The second she opened the door she felt his arm wrap around her waist, and everything else was a blur. All she knew was that door was closed, and her back was against it and Mon-El was hovering over her like a predator to its prey. His lips were dangerously close, and his body aligning to hers. His hands were moving at her waist, and pulling her closer despite the fact that no room existed between them, their bodies were already pressed together and they were sharing the small air.

She was getting high of his touch, and her eyes rolled back when his lips skimmed over hers, “I’ve been waiting to do this all evening.”

He pressed his lips gently against her at first, a light kiss. But then his lips descended again, aggressive and demanding more from her. Kara entangled her hand into his hair, and pulled him down onto her, and Mon-El angled himself to get more access to her supple lips. 

Before Kara could even fully register and enjoy the kiss, his lips descended on her neck, trailing a path of fire down her skin. Kara let out a soft moan, and her leg hitched around Mon-El’s hip, pulling him near.

As soon as Kara’s leg slithered around his hip Mon-El jumped back, releasing Kara immediately. Kara looked unkempt, her dress hiked up, her hair tangled and her lips swollen from the kiss.

“Mon-El,” she bemoaned at the loss of contact.

“I’m so sorry Kara. I didn’t mean for it to get so far. I just wanted one kiss, and then I just couldn’t control myself. Im so sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry about Mon-El. I wanted it as much as you did. And I still do,” she tried to pull him towards her, but he just stepped back, away from her reach.

“Kara no. Before this, before we continue this, or anything else I need to tell you why I disappeared.”

Of fucking course, he would pick this moment to answer all her questions, when she was needy and wanton and ready to devour him. She wouldn’t have minded waiting another hour or so, right now her mind was thinking about million other things, and none of those thoughts involved talking.

“Later Mon-El –”

“It has to be now. I need you to know everything before we start again, or pick up where we left off. We promised to be honest with each other, and I am going to tell you everything and then you can decide whether you want to stay in this relationship or not.”

This was really important to him, and there was no other way around than sitting down and talking, so Kara made her way to island counter chairs and settled down, and Mon-El followed suit and sat across from her.

Mon-El paused, trying to find the right words to start his tale, “I just wanted to say before anything, that I would never leave you Kara. Not after the life we created for each other, I would never have willingly left you alone without as much as a note. I wish it was different, I wish I could change history, because knowing that I left you alone with no answers for thirty years kills me.”

“Mon-El –”

“Please let me finish Kara. And then you can say whatever you want. And I’ll do whatever you say. So, that year, that day when I didn’t return home, I hadn’t run away and left you…I had been found out. The government I guess figured out I was an alien,” Kara gasped, another million questions running through her head but she remained mum, “It was all my fault. Rao, I was so stupid. I had snuck into their facilities at the Kennedy Space Center trying to get Intel on their space exploration progress, and what technologies they used. I thought they couldn’t see me, that I was too fast for the naked eye and their slow cameras, but I was wrong. They had more advanced technology than I thought, and they had caught me on film. They monitored me, tried to figure out the perfect time to capture me. And that stupid, completely mundane Thursday they did. They kidnapped and took me to secret facility –“

“How?” Kara whispered. Her voice cracked.

“Nth metal. They had fucking nth metal. This planet had surpassed Level 10 in 1982 Kara. They know about aliens, they interacted with them and they possess some interesting alien artifacts, they just haven’t told the general public about their discoveries and findings. They have a secret organization called the Department of Extra-Normal Operations that monitors and tracks aliens. DEO, they call it,” he spoke with such malice, “Kidnapping, torture, Gods Kara,” he closed his eyes, trying to force the memories from resurfacing. His jaw clenched and his teeth grinded together as he tried to keep the memories at bay. Kara could see him struggle, his hand fisting and his body becoming rigid.

Kara quickly moved out of her seat and pulled him in for a hug. His head against her chest, and Kara tucked her chin over his head and rubbed soothing circles on his back. It was now her turn to comfort him.

“Mon-El, I’m so sorry… I should have… I wish I could of have… Rao,” she was at loss of words.

“Twenty-six years.”

“What?”

“They had me for twenty-six years. Before I escaped. They tried so hard to break me. But I never gave in. They didn’t have anything they could torture me physically with. No lead, and all nth metal did was contain me. But the loneliness…they kept me alone for twenty-six years. I couldn’t…they couldn’t break me. They wanted to know about other aliens, and how to capture…I just couldn’t,” he stammered off, his body shaking as the memories drowned him.

“Mon-El shhh, you don’t need to say anything more,” Kara reassured him, trying to fight the tears that were brimming in her eyes. He needed her strong right now, and breaking down in front of him wouldn’t help him. Someone needed to remain strong for the both of them

“I’m so sorry Kara…”

“Mon-El stop,” she pulled his head into a cradle, both her hands on his cheeks. She wiped away his tears with her thumbs, “You have nothing to apologize for. Absolutely nothing.”

“Kara –“

“Nothing Mon-El,” she said with such conviction that Mon-El finally relented and quietly nodded his head in agreement, “I am just happy knowing you are safe and with me. I am shocked to think that you would think I would leave you, or be angry with you for being kidnapped by some alien hating government program. We have been apart for long stretches of time, I think it is part of our pattern,” she tried to make light of the situation, “But now we are never ever leaving each other Mon-El.”

“Kara that’s not all of it,” he mumbled. He took her silence as a signal to continue, “Before I escaped I stole some technology from them,” he took a deep breathe, “The technology allowed me fix my motherboard, and reinsert it into my ship…”

Kara felt numb all over, was he leaving her. Was this really happening all over again, “Are you leaving me,” she murmured, “again?”

Mon-El jumped out of his seat at her insinuation, “Rao, I would never leave you Kara. Never. I reinserted it into my ship and the communication features were operational. I just had to press the damn button and talk to my home planet again, but I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t. It’s not my home anymore, it hasn’t been for a long time. Earth is my home… you are my home. But if you... but if you,” he gulped, “But if you want to talk to Krypton, and if you want to return I am not going to stop you. I am not going to be the one to prevent you from returning home. I don’t want to be roadblock to your happiness Kara…”

“I want to stay here,” she declared.

Mon-El groaned, “Kara, take some time to think about. This isn’t a two second decision. This is about your home planet, and don’t think about me. Think about what you want, what you desire and not my feelings. Trust me, I won’t get hurt.”

“I want to stay here.” she repeated her statement.

“KARA. You need time –.”

“QUIT TELLING ME I NEED TIME!” Mon-El jumped a little at her outburst, “For the love of Rao, I haven’t wanted to go back to Krypton since Greece. Nothing is left for me there. Maybe I will tell them I’m still alive. But going back. Never. Not in a million years. This isn’t some spur of the moment decision, I have felt like this for a long time. What is it that these Earthling say, home is where the heart is? Well my heart is with you, so why in God’s name would I leave you. I. Am. Never. Leaving. You. Do you understand that,” she was getting more pissed by the second. She hoped Mon-El would understand now, “Never,” she hissed.

And just like before, everything became a blur, and before she knew it she was pinned against a wall and Mon-El was attacking her with his lips. Trailing a path up her neck, occasionally biting her marble skin. Kara pulled him closer, and hitched her leg on his hip, and this time he didn’t jump back but rather grinded himself against her, emitting a growl and causing her too moan. He paused before her lips, his nose brushing against hers. His breathe was hot, and Kara was panting as she felt her pulse race forward. She wanted him to kiss her, but he remained mere millimeters away from her lips, torturing her.

“I love you Kara Zor-El,” he breathed, his lips still hovering over hers.

Kara’s heart jolted, and skipped a beat. He loved her. _He loved her._ She had wanted to say that him thirty years ago, but was never given a chance. She brushed away his matted hair before she whispered those four words that she had been carrying in her heart, “I love you Mon-El,” she left liberated by her declaration.

“Ya?” he asked, smirking.

“Ya,” her giggles were devoured by his lips.

It had taken them three hundred years to realize and confess their feelings, but when Rao spins a tale, not even time itself can stop it from happening.   

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the story :)) And the last chapter. As always - please ignore mistakes and an edited one will be posted later. especially cause i think this chapter lots and lots of mistakes.
> 
> I want to thank everyone for reading this story, and commenting, liking, and inspiring me to write more. It really helps and I appreciate each and every one of you <33\. And especially juliakaze for helping me, and initially sparking this entire fic. 
> 
> Do expect two other companion stories to this fic.  
> 1) What happened in those two weeks in 1779.  
> 2) What happened to Mon El when he was held captive in the DEO. 
> 
> It was meant to be a slight open ended ending, so i had freedom to go in explore certain things, such as the DEO captivity -- that is so interesting to me. 
> 
> I might write an epilogue or not, I havent completely decided. If you do want an epilogue, please leave me suggestions so I have some ideas to go off of.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys liked it! I will be updating the story after I finish the next chapter. I have already completed up to Chapter 4, so once Chapter 5 is done, I’ll post Chapter 2. 
> 
> So where and when do you think they will meet again? ;)


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